Loosing the weight and I don't like my shape

[ljperez 87]

I don't know but I have a hard time explaining this. Thought I could get help here. I can't stand my shape. When I was heavier my highest 280lb it was like what ever fit I would buy. Also I felt I was to far gone and I didn't care. Now I feel like I am picking myself apart and I see every bump and wrinkle. Please don't get me wrong I am happy for the weight loss and I work out so much better and feel great I'm not tired. I really work out hard. It's the way I look. Please I'm not vein at all either. I know I've said this before everyone looks so happy taking pics buying new clothes and you all look great in the. I still feel like crap and don't even like looking in the mirror. I went to JC Penny the other day, first time going actual shopping since surgery and I wanted to cry. I hate my legs they look so flabby my arms too. I don't care about my stomach I will never show that but my legs always looked good before when I was heavy now they just hang and forget about the but it's gone. I do total body conditioning and squats like crazy but I just don't have it. I'm going on Vacation for the first time in 5 years next week and I'm freaking out. All I want is cover ups and pants.

[Aubreanna 22]

You are being too hard on yourself. I'm sure you are the only one who thinks you don't look good in the mirror. Instead, try focusing on your accomplishments and how you you chose to be a healthier person. I'm sure you look great and no one will notice any bumps or wrinkles on your new body. You are fabulous as you are. Big or small.

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

It does take time. Your skin unfortunately shrinks more slowly than your fat stores do. But the good news is that it will continue to keep shrinking for 2 years, sometimes longer. And yes, we are our worst critic. We see every flaw.

Do you have before pictures? Take some current pics, even if you don't show anybody else. When you lay them side by side, you will be amazed how far you have come.

[cbd 78]

Ditto to the above. I can relate though. I feel great and love how I look in my smaller sizes but I am my own worst critic. I am a little less confident in my look now then I was heavier. I automatically look at my abdomen first. When I was heavier I wasn't as critical with myself....go figure!

[cinward2001 141]

ljperez, I understand what you're saying! I joke that when I first lost weight with the band, somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought I'd be 18 and perfect. Instead, I was still in my 40's, with wrinkles and sagging skin. I was NEVER going to want to wear shorts with the floppy skin, or tank tops with the bat wings.

Even after plastic surgery (TT/BA), I wasn't totally happy. Now I had a flat tummy, but still too much butt...so pants didn't fit right. Not even happy with the BA because they're too big (she was balancing out my curves, but I guess I didn't make it clear enough I don't WANT curves).

But in the past few years, I've learned to accept that I'm never going to reach my "ideal." It's just not possible...instead, I've had to learn to be happy with myself and my body AND all of its faults. I do still plan to have the BA re-done to a smaller size, but that's because they interfere with my activities...it's not about looks any more, but what I can DO.

So that's my advice to you. Rejoice in what you can DO in your skinnier body! Try not to focus on the negatives, but be happy with the healthier, more energetic you!

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

I think that truthfully, many of us have "body issues" well beyond obesity. In my case, I wasn't happy with my body when I was thin and managed to diet myself into major food problems. I don't think that really ever goes away.

[Peazwithin 6]

We had so lonnnnng to look at our 'heavy' bodies, that our brain has 'accepted this a the new norm. As so many have said here, you gotta love the new you. That means all of you. Because the new you is a healthier you. Only you can determine if you will be a happier you and make no mistake, it is a choice. I bet on you. As you continue to loose all of us have heard of the body lift, arm lift (I now have the wing span of a boeing 747!) But I love it! I am not rocking Michelle Obama arms but I am proud when I go sleeveless and yep, I do that! I am proud that my arms wave bye more than my hands do but I know they are not hoarding fat. My legs hang like living room drapes, but I walk every day 2-4 miles a day. Under all the drapes of skin, in various rooms called my body, there is a rocking, healthy firm form in there that was not there before the vsg! All I am saying is, Honey, Celebrate you! There is a world of people out there to criticize you, don't join them. You celebrate you. All of you. And your true friends and fans will join in with you! Love on you, this is a proces and your brain will catch up to your body's success.

[lsereno 2,525]

Boy, I hear you! I'm at goal weight, but it doesn't look the same as it did when I was in my 30s. A few things I won't be wearing:

• Skirts or shorts that hit too far above the knee
  
• Bikini
  
• Halter top
  

Shopping for a swimsuit and new underthings was not as enjoyable as I expected. I have extra skin that spills out and looks crappy unless I buy the right items.

And on the way to goal, my midsection looked like the lumpy squash in the game Plants vs Zombies.

I've found some cute capri pants that I wear instead of shorts. I have several cute skirts that hit at the knee. And I finally found a cute swimsuit at Macy's. You will get used to what is flattering and it will be easier to find as time goes by.

Lynda

[ljperez 87]

Thanks guys I knew you would all know what I'm talking about. Nobody understands me they all think I'm crazy I should be going out shopping and taking tons of pics, partying and I'm still just doing the face shots. I don't like the body shots. I want to through someone in front of me to hide. I guess it will all take time. Well I'll see what happens on Vacation. I haven't seen some of these people in 5yrs so I'm sure I'll feel very insecure the first couple of days. Maybe a tan on these tree trunks will help hide the dimples. Thanks again,,

[hopester73 2]

Girl after ur journey go get your body renovated that's what in going to do

[jacee 183]

I was thinking the same thing. Im shrinking into an odd shape as well. Not the 28 year old hot body shape I had imagined. I obviously have alot more weight to loose, but I dont want the deflated balloon look. Im not sure how everyone affords to go out and get all this plastic surgery afterwords, I have a good job and income, and I still dont think I can afford it. Is anyones insurance covering these after weight loss lifts and such? Are you getting done in Mexico? Whats the secret to most ppl getting plastics when the weight is all gone?

[mysleevemylife 158]

I don't know but I have a hard time explaining this. Thought I could get help here. I can't stand my shape. When I was heavier my highest 280lb it was like what ever fit I would buy. Also I felt I was to far gone and I didn't care. Now I feel like I am picking myself apart and I see every bump and wrinkle. Please don't get me wrong I am happy for the weight loss and I work out so much better and feel great I'm not tired. I really work out hard. It's the way I look. Please I'm not vein at all either. I know I've said this before everyone looks so happy taking pics buying new clothes and you all look great in the. I still feel like crap and don't even like looking in the mirror. I went to JC Penny the other day, first time going actual shopping since surgery and I wanted to cry. I hate my legs they look so flabby my arms too. I don't care about my stomach I will never show that but my legs always looked good before when I was heavy now they just hang and forget about the but it's gone. I do total body conditioning and squats like crazy but I just don't have it. I'm going on Vacation for the first time in 5 years next week and I'm freaking out. All I want is cover ups and pants.

In my opinion, how you are feeling is absolutely normal...just as normal as someone saying "I love how I look now!" When your body makes drastic changes, it's life changing. I def suggest that you reach out for counseling regarding this, self-help books, journaling...something to help you process these feelings properly so that they will result in you making positive affirmations & soaring but feeling happy with yourself while you do. Plastic surgery is an option for some but if you choose not to go that route or cannot for any reason, you will have no choice but to change your mind towards your body. NOT saying that with "plastics" a healthy self-image is not needed, though! I hope this helps & makes sense.

[mysleevemylife 158]

_{Oh, & I also wanted to say that I'm not judging you & thinking that you are vain or anything like that. You are human as we all are. Again, Best Wishes...}