It's my Bandiversary

[doinit4me 0]

I can’t believe it’s already been a year since I had surgery. Wow, what I can I say about this past year…? It’s been a long road, full of ups and downs, both physical and emotional changes, band related issues and victories and both criticism and compliments galore. It’s definitely been very interesting.

Here is my story if you want to read it, I apologize if it gets long winded.

I started my band journey with many arguments with my DH about weather or not to get the band. He thought it wasn’t a good idea to have ANY kind of elective surgery and thought that if I just put my mind to it, I should be able to lose the weight on my own. I had proven before that I could lose weight, so he thought it would be easy to do it again, but from my point of view, after losing about 70 lbs, and regaining about 90, my will to do it “on my own” had been broken. I had spent the majority of the last 15 years with my weight going up and down, and I just didn’t have another “diet” in me. I fought hard to get my way and have the surgery and in the end, I prevailed with DH’s loving consent.

I had my surgery on Thursday and everything went pretty well, I was still a little sore, but able to go back to work on Monday. The first month was the hardest because of the liquid diet, I was hungry a lot, and then, after I could eat regular food, everyone who ever saw me eat had to comment on how little I was eating. I always thought that was rude, I mean, I don’t feel the need to tell people that they have eaten way to much, why do they think its okay to comment on my eating habits, anyway, that was just a pet peeve of mine. It didn’t take to long for everyone (family, friends and work associates) to become used to the way I ate and eventually, the comments dwindled to almost nothing, although I still get a few.

I have had the occasional PB, and lots of slimming, fills and unfills throughout the year. I have not had a fill that I have kept more than a week since June. I believe my band had hit my personal limit at that point, but since I was only losing about 6 to 8 lbs a month, I of course felt I could do better and would elect to have a “small” fill, only to be back in the Dr. Office the next week to have it taken out. I think they actually got used to this. Looking back on it, I realize that was pretty stupid, but I couldn’t help but think that I wanted to lose as much weight as I could my first year, because I was afraid if I didn’t lose it my first year, it might not come off at all. To make a long story slightly shorter, it’s been hard at times and the best thing in the world others. True, there is nothing I want more than a Monster Burger from Hardees and a big Coke, but knowing myself as well as I do, I know that it would not end there, it would not be enough, because as soon as I was done being miserable from eating the whole burger, I would turn around and eat something else that is equally bad for me and the cycle would continue until I wore a size 22 again. Losing the weight has been awesome and I could go on and on about the benefits of losing weight, but honestly, the bottom line is, only recently have I decided that it’s okay to accept myself as I am. I feel as though I have spent half of my life waiting to be happy till this changes or that changes or this happens, ect…., but finally, with the help of my band, the love and support from my DH and family and the grace of God, I can breath, look in the mirror and say, aaahhh. I like what I see and who I am.

I have lost 92 (from 250 to 158) lbs, went from a 22 to comfortable 10 pants and from a XXL to a M to L shirt. Mostly, I have gained some peace of mind. Thanks for listening.

[flabuless 18]

Congratulations on your Bandaversary! Well done... You have come a long way! and have every reason to be so pleased at yourself...I cant wait till I can feel the same way about myself looking in the mirror!

:welldone2: becky

[CCBSTX 0]

What a wonderful little journal of your year. I think you have done terrific and it's great that you are patting yourself on the back. You deserve everything you've worked hard to achieve.

Yippeee! Shawn

[ItsGottaGo! 0]

GREAT JOB!! Thanks for telling us your story, it gives me such encouragement! Congratulations and Happy Bandiversary!