Seeking support

[Patti K 98]

Hello, all. New here, obviously. I am in the process of getting scheduled and seeking some support. This is kind of an assignment because i live 70 minutes from my hospital and my psych eval said I dont feel like I have a strong support system and my counselor said I need a support group but I live in a rural area. I am 432 right now and hoping for the best because I have forgotten what it feels like to walk pain free and walk iin oublic without feeling like all eyes are on me. I am a food addict. I worry about post-op complications and how much extra skin I will have to deal with. I would like to get some info from people who have been sleeved. What is the best thing? What's the worst? And anyone who wants to answer...why did you do it?

[VSGKirk 855]

The best thing - I have a lot of time to focus on other things now that I'm not constantly struggling with physical pain, food and/or guilt.

The worst thing - I have a lot of time to focus on other things now that I'm not constantly struggling with physical pain, food and/or guilt.

WLS is not the answer to life's problems...but it sure frees up a lot of time to work on the things that may have caused the problem to begin with.

I feel more "normal" than I ever have in my entire adult life and wish this would have been an option for me decades ago.

In regards to support - You could definitely make a case that this forum and the WLS YouTube community are a HUGE peer support/resource for you. I would turn to this board daily post op and found it to be much more helpful than a once a week or month in-person group.

Your food addiction isn't going to disappear with WLS, in fact, it may make you even MORE miserable because you will not be able to satiate those compulsions/feelings. You will need a lot of professional support for sure.

Good luck to you - and give yourself a pat on the back for already starting the process by reaching out and telling your story!

[Nicolanz 1,484]

Hey Patti! Congratulations on getting the ball rolling. I too am a food addict and still struggle everyday. The difference now is I can't eat enough for 3 people anymore! I'm still working on my issues but it gets better everyday.

The best thing I've encountered up until now is having energy to live my busy life, being able to exercise without feeling I am going to die, being the smallest I've ever been as an adult, being overall happy and more outgoing, and of course all the complement I get! I don't hide anymore!

There is no worst part for me except I need to get my gallbladder removed. I'll take that over being morbidly obese any day! Good luck to you and come here for support. There are some amazing people on this site!

[southernsoul 773]

Kirk is absolutely right...it's not a fix-all magic wand, but it will help. I am still pre-op, scheduled for June 19th. Like you, I live in a small town & I'm about 90 minutes from my surgeon & hospital. I love the community on this site, and I'm so appreciative for all the support and inspiration here, but I also wanted to have a face-to-face group. Since my doc is so far away, I found local providers to do my psych eval & NUT appts. I asked both my psych & NUT to check with any other pre-WLS clients they were working with to see if they'd be interested in meeting up. I got connected with one other person that way, and then a third girl though another sleever here. It is possible to put together a local support group, even if it's just a few of you. Good luck to you!

[PainInTheGlass 50]

Even though my surgeon is local, I work evening shifts thru the week that conflict with the monthly support group meetings. I'm using the VST site as my support group as well. I am fortunate in that my best friend (and neighbor) is a nurse that had a gastric bypass 10 yrs ago. Although she has found ways to cheat the system --and ultimately cheat herself by gaining back 40 lbs-- she is willing to support me in my journey. She recently started Weight Watchers and has vowed that she would exercise with me as often as possible; however, we work different shifts and I hear from her only on the weekends.

Anyway, I have been able to meet a few people on VST in the past few weeks...and I have started to connect. The site is full of good info and people willing to help with any issue that you may have (likely someone else has had the same issue). Best way to connect is to haunt the chat room until you feel comfortable jumping in and making a few friends there. Also check out the posts by others and try to connect with a group that you feel fits your needs. (In my case, I was invited to the June Sleevers group--my surgery is June 3)

Funny side note.....I chatted with VSGKirk briefly one night in the past week. He is a wealth of information. If you don't know how to add a friend, go to their profile and click on the box that says "add as a friend". I didn't add Kirk the other night, but plan to today! I'll add you as well.

[AuntB 19]

Does your hospital have a support group? I have to drive an hour & 20 minutes to get to my hospital & the support group & it's worth the drive.

[Patti K 98]

Even though my surgeon is local' date=' I work evening shifts thru the week that conflict with the monthly support group meetings. I'm using the VST site as my support group as well. I am fortunate in that my best friend (and neighbor) is a nurse that had a gastric bypass 10 yrs ago. Although she has found ways to cheat the system --and ultimately cheat herself by gaining back 40 lbs-- she is willing to support me in my journey. She recently started Weight Watchers and has vowed that she would exercise with me as often as possible; however, we work different shifts and I hear from her only on the weekends.

Anyway, I have been able to meet a few people on VST in the past few weeks...and I have started to connect. The site is full of good info and people willing to help with any issue that you may have (likely someone else has had the same issue). Best way to connect is to haunt the chat room until you feel comfortable jumping in and making a few friends there. Also check out the posts by others and try to connect with a group that you feel fits your needs. (In my case, I was invited to the June Sleevers group--my surgery is June 3)

Funny side note.....I chatted with VSGKirk briefly one night in the past week. He is a wealth of information. If you don't know how to add a friend, go to their profile and click on the box that says "add as a friend". I didn't add Kirk the other night, but plan to today! I'll add you as well. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

Even if you have motivated your friend to work out on weekends that is still better than no days at all! I appreciate you adding me as a friend! I do not know anyone in my close curcle who has had wls and will need someone to talk to about my crazy thoughts and stuff post-op I am sure!

[Patti K 98]

Thanks, everyone! I am not viewing this as a quickfix for sure. I have researched wls for over 5 years and did not like all the complications with rny and lapband. The sleeve seems like a good fit for me and I am tired of not being able to do it myself. I guess having gotten this big is like not cleaning your house til it looks like one of those on hoarders: you don't know where to start, so you start small and end up getting one room looking beautiful. You feel proud of your accomplishment (for me it was when I lost 90 lbs in 09-10). However, YOU and everyone else sees all the other rooms and you feel let down because there is so much left to do. And 90% of people judge you on what's left, and not that one accomplishment you have already achieved. It's a struggle and I am grateful I found this site!

[VSGKirk 855]

I guess having gotten this big is like not cleaning your house til it looks like one of those on hoarders: you don't know where to start, so you start small and end up getting one room looking beautiful. You feel proud of your accomplishment (for me it was when I lost 90 lbs in 09-10). However, YOU and everyone else sees all the other rooms and you feel let down because there is so much left to do.

So.. what's wrong with a few dried out, mummified lost cats? I hear they make a great low carb/high Protein snack!

[makemyownluck 785]

Hi Patti! There's definitely support here, and there's a place to post specifically for support for the amount of weight you have to lose. I see a lot of these "lightweights" around here and wonder if they could possibly understand where I'm coming from. We're all in the same boat, tho, and I've found a lot of support from people on all different parts of this journey!

My heaviest was 11/12 @ 459. I had surgery 5/2/13 @ 406. I finally made it to the 300s now and I'm looking forward to the scale moving lower and lower. I don't have a support group I go to, I just pop on here when I have a question or feel like being with 'my people'.

I would definitely tell your surgeon about the support you get online, and definitely let this be a resource. It's funny, I didn't know a family friend had surgery in the past until I started talking to my mom about wanting surgery. It seems people come out of the woodwork when they know someone else is considering surgery... even though she had a different surgery, she told me to not think twice about doing it. She said it's still the best decision she ever made and has never been happier.

I'm doing great post op, wish I was losing more and faster, but I realize it's not a race and that a loss is a loss, no matter how long it takes to get it. As long as the scale isn't moving up, I'm happy! :)

Good luck to you! You have support here when you need it!

[EddiesAngel 14]

I to need support and positive feed back because with out it It will be very hard for me. I've bee looking for a surgery buddy for July 30 but have yet to find one.

[Patti K 98]

I to need support and positive feed back because with out it It will be very hard for me. I've bee looking for a surgery buddy for July 30 but have yet to find one.

Hey I am the 31st so friend me and we will do this together!

[jody521 7]

Im having surgery july 30th also.

[EddiesAngel 14]

Im having surgery july 30th also.

My big day is the 30th as well so add me as a friend and we can. Lift up and support and encourage each other. I am having my surgery done at Centennial Women's Hospital in Nashville, Tennessee. My surgeons name is Dr. David Dyer and he is a wonderful man with a great bedside manner, I really like him.

[jody521 7]

How do you add a friend?