Negative People

[FELICIA17 0]

Hello all... I've been lurking around this site for a while. I've finally decided that I want to have the band done.........However, I've mentioned it to a few people and the reactions I got blew me away. EVERYONE has something negative to say, like, why would you do that? you don't need it!, (I'm 100 lbs overweight), why don't you just diet and exercise!there are too many complications!, on and on and on........ but when I mention that the diabetes, high blood pressure and heaven knows what else,is waiting down the line for me will kill me sooner than the surgery will, they have nothing to say. I am not looking for a quick fix, I diet and exercise, but always end up gaining the weight back. I feel that this will help me lose the weight and KEEP it off!!! So i've decided when I do have the surgery I'm not going to tell anyone except my fiance. Did any of you experience friends and family reactions like this?

[Kat817 19]

I personally had 99% good and one was the dissenting 1% bad! Many times they hear WLS and assume it is bypass, or like the old non adjustable gastric band--and both have had plenty of bad publicity. I always tried to emphasize that this was adjustable to fit my needs at the time, and was also fully reversable if I react in a negative way at any time. I am a cancer survivor, and some ask me if I were to relapse if I could get proper nutrition, so I always let them know in that case, I could get a complete unfill and eat normally.

I would say you tried being up front with them, it did not go well, so when you get ready to make that move, and go for the surgery, keep it on the down low. If between now and thenyou get a chance to educate some of them to the different surgeries---maybe try talking to them....but some people would rather stubbornly stick to their guns, and you can talk til you are blue in the face, and never change their minds. Just do what you decide is best for YOU. They are not living life 100 pounds overweight. They have not likely tried every diet known to mankind....this is not about them....

You have the right attitude!!! Come hang out with us---we understand!!!

Kat

[Kat817 19]

Oh Yeah Felicia---I forgot!

WELCOME!!!!!! Welcome to LBT!!!! We are glad you are here!!!

Kat

[ladysplenda 1]

I have been diabetic for twenty years. I was banded a year ago. I WAS taking 70 units of insulin 2 amaryl and two avandia plus high blood pressure meds and crestor. I now take two amaryl. Best thing I ever did.

When I was in the hospital the man in the next room had gastric bypass and died. I had the lapband and went home and have since lost 65 pounds and gained my health back. Do not let them talk you out of this. 1 in 10,000 or more vs 1 in 200 with gastric bypass(major surgery). No higher than any minor surgery.

[kwhenrykerr 0]

Lazy, no-good, pig, yep I got all the name calling etc. Strangers, friends & family they all got their chance. It does not matter, I got banded for me! body pain, mental pain, hard to sleep, can't catch my breath, pre-dibetic, blood pressure going up, so out of shape sex was a chore.....

Then I had to fight my family to consider Mexico. If I would have waited to save the money for my local Doctor and Hospital it would have been 2008 before banding

I got banded for me, without waiting. I might not have made it till 2008. I sure would not have been feeling so good as I do right now. I would not have been doing for others, others would be doing for me. Sorry if I sound mad but the lack of support is a KILLER.

[kwhenrykerr 0]

I just finished a wounderfull dinner, small but wounderfull. I am full and content.

best wishes

[mandilou 1]

I TOTALLY understand what you're saying about negative people. It's amazing how much negativity I encounter when discussing this with people. I've found that a lot of it has to do with fear... people don't understand the surgery, they're afraid you'll change when you lose weight, they're jealous of your potential success, etc.

Quite a few years back, I went from 224 to 165, and even though I was wearing a size 10, I was getting people worried that I was anorexic, or giving me crap because I was getting "too" skinny, or just plain wouldn't hang out with me anymore. I was so self-conscious being "skinny" that it was almost more of a struggle than being fat! Of course that diet failed... it wasn't a good diet to begin with, but I had some glorious moments of leg crossing while it lasted! haha

Best wishes on YOUR journey, and your true friends and loved ones may be negative at first, but will quickly adjust to asking lots of questions, being a great listener, and understanding that it's about YOU revealing the you on the outside that's been buried on the inside!

[flabuless 18]

Welcome to Lapband talk Felicia17.

I have had to deal with negative people...In the end I just came to the same point as you and decided despite all their 'well meaning' concern I had to do this for ME and for ME this was the best way to loose weight...Eventually, once they new I was determined to go through with it...they came on board and were supportive...I guess they just gave up on me! Well now they are eating their words cause they can see just how much good having this lapband has done for me...and they are congratulating me now for having the guts to do it...

My advise to you...Dont worry about them do what you need to do for YOU if they love you they will come around and be your number 1 supporters.

I cant wait to hear of your progress.

Best wishes

becky

[juno610 1]

Hi Felicia! I'm new here too.

At first I didn't tell anyone except my parents and DH about the band because I was afraid of all the possible negativity. I decided to take a chance and told a few close friends and a few coworkers. The result? I was overwhelmed with how excited everyone was for me. I so far haven't had any super-negative feedback. Only one friend was sort of "funny" about it, but she was still very supportive. This was my experience, and I'm so glad it worked out that way. I guess my advice is to do what feels right for you -- there's no rules about who you have to tell and who not to.

Maria

[maryrose 2]

:grouphug: Oh my gosh...I have been going through the same thing. Hang in there, I plan to.

I think a lot of the negativity is not knowing enough about it and actually being concerned for us.

My doctor's negativity really threw me off guard, but it's my body, I need the help and I'm going to accept it and take it to the next nevel.

So there!...lol.

You go fot it. I plan to.

[Sand Pirate 0]

Welcome aboard

Take a good look in the mirror, that is the only person that you have to answer too. If you want to do this its because like me NOTHING else worked. Don't let the negative people tell you its a quick fix, Lap-Band is not quick or easy, its just a tool to help. Its still hard work to loose the weight. You will need the support of us in times and all of us will be here for you. We all want you to succeed because it gives us inspiration to succeed as well.

Take Care

Sand Pirate :bandit

[FELICIA17 0]

Oh my goodness.... I guess I'm not the only one huh? This site is heaven sent. I'll see now that I'll be spending a lot of time here. As for the negative people, my success will be the only way to show them..... I can't wait:)

[demsvmejm 5]

I have a co-worker that is totally against lap, RNY, any surgical procedure regarding weight for that matter. Her daughter and son lost tremendous amounts of weight by diet and exercise so she feels everyone else can and should do the same.

So, I'm thinking about telling a "lie" to my co-workers (there are only 5 of us) to avoid all the tension and negative comments...perhaps a small ovarian cyst needs removed, can't use gall bladder, already had it removed. Or should I just hold my head up high and deal with everyone's response?

[roband 0]

Hello,

Just had surgery on the first of December 1st. I lost 8 pounds in the first week and I am around the same give or take a few pounds.

The surgery went fine although I did suffer some side effects from the anestesia such as blurred vision and anxiety.

I had the surgery done in another city so, I've not been to any support groups locally. So this may be great alternative!

I do not suggest watching TV - as the food visuals are constant!! I began craving sooner than I thought and try to find something else to occupy my time.

I began a few foods i.e. Soups and such in the second week (which is not advised) I've been careful - no vomitting or anything. I just cannot understand why it is advised to fast for so long - unless you are looking for rapid weight loss. I am no expert - I just feel like this only promotes the lap band success rate.

Your thoughts?

__________________

Robin