MIJourney 490 Posted May 20, 2013 Life's too short to not be happy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NMJG 1,266 Posted May 20, 2013 You deserve better. Counseling is a good idea, but if he doesn't improve and treat you with respect, you have many options now. Don't settle for less than great. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FeeIsMe2 508 Posted May 20, 2013 So sorry -- you deserve better. Hopefully over time you will have the strength to see it and be able to move on. I wish you the best and hope that your future partner is a true partner in every sense of the word. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LI Gemini NY 607 Posted May 21, 2013 When we got together I told him the staring at hotties had to stop. I took it bc I was fat. After time I gave up and thought whatever.. So us doing stuff together was the only way I "knew" what/who he was doing. In my mind it was better than cheating. I did the surgery for me 90%. But the rest was in hopes I could stop the wandering if I became hot. I have gone through so much and he was at the hospital w me every day 2.5 mths. I thought we had gotten closer but now I am wondering. Thanks to everyone for their replies. I appreciate it and will figure out what to do. I don't want to be unhappy any more. Sent from my iPhone using VST Wow. Only a few things in this world would shock me and this is one of them. Cheating has nothing to do with whether you're skinny or fat. He cheats because he wants to and because you allow him to. Skinny people get cheated on too. This man is doing what you allowed him to do to you. The first time you noticed him looking at other women right in front of you...that should've been the last time you saw him. Try flipping this "unique" bullsh!t on him and see how well it works. You start looking at other guys and talk about sleeping with other men and let him know its better than cheating and see how quick he shuts you down.....because he's worth more than that.... How much are you worth? 7 FeeIsMe2, NtvTxn, BKLYNgal87 and 4 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leeann71 539 Posted May 21, 2013 Oh Hell no! I would never put up with my husband saying or even thinking that way with me. I tell him he better never disrespect me by looking or anything of that nature if Im in his presence. You do not have to put up with that no matter what you weigh. Kick his ASS to the curb there is a gentleman out there for you somewhere. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtvTxn 1,262 Posted May 21, 2013 Wow. Only a few things in this world would shock me and this is one of them. Cheating has nothing to do with whether you're skinny or fat. He cheats because he wants to and because you allow him to. Skinny people get cheated on too. This man is doing what you allowed him to do to you. The first time you noticed him looking at other women right in front of you...that should've been the last time you saw him. Try flipping this "unique" bullsh!t on him and see how well it works. You start looking at other guys and talk about sleeping with other men and let him know its better than cheating and see how quick he shuts you down.....because he's worth more than that.... How much are you worth? You're right, fat as well as thin people get cheated on.....it has nothing to do with what size we are, it has to do with their character. If Sandra Bullock can be cheated on, nobody is immune! 1 SqueakyWheel&Ethyl reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NoneYa 380 Posted May 22, 2013 It seems to me that your relationship and the boundaries set for it have always been more about him than about what works for you as a couple. This man has serious issues and in my opinion character flaws. Like someone said earlier, I don't want to sound mean or to hurt you but please consider his possible motives for entering into a relationship with you in the first place. Perhaps it was because he saw no threat and felt (apparently rightfully so) that he could get away with anything. I don't think it's admirable that he came to the hospital every day while you were inpatient. That's what spouses or partners do, no brownie points earned for that. He strikes me as incredibly self absorbed and although he might love you as much as he can, he cannot love you very much. You deserve so much more than this. Please see that and accept nothing less. Our time on this earth is short. When your time is coming to an end will you be content in the knowledge that you shared your life with someone that loved you and was devoted to you or will you wish you had just one more day to feel the pain that he inflicts on you? 2 jensjoy28 and FeeIsMe2 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
missmeow 156 Posted May 22, 2013 Why do you accept this kind of behavior? He sounds utterly disgusting to me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ImLooznit 171 Posted May 23, 2013 YOU deserve MUCH Better than this bum can ever give you! He has surely showed you he is not interested in you. Only giving you misery~! DUMP HIM! BEFORE he does you! He obviously loves to hurt you mentally! we are here to support YOU! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamingofhealth 223 Posted May 23, 2013 Wow. Only a few things in this world would shock me and this is one of them. Cheating has nothing to do with whether you're skinny or fat. He cheats because he wants to and because you allow him to. Skinny people get cheated on too. This man is doing what you allowed him to do to you. The first time you noticed him looking at other women right in front of you...that should've been the last time you saw him. Try flipping this "unique" bullsh!t on him and see how well it works. You start looking at other guys and talk about sleeping with other men and let him know its better than cheating and see how quick he shuts you down.....because he's worth more than that.... How much are you worth? Well said! I totally agree! Sheena 1 ImLooznit reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fyre_storm 1,412 Posted May 23, 2013 I watch a lot of ID discovery and this is always how this stuff starts then you all sleep with a person who becomes to get closer to the other partner and some one gets killed! Run!!! 5 Kellyj574, Kimmy1813, MumtazG38 and 2 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aries 95 Posted May 23, 2013 Ok I gotta vent. I apologize ahead of time. Sunday my husband tells me he doesn't like how fast I lost weight or how I look. (In a nutshell) says he liked me far and not used to me now. Ok hurt my feelings but I can see a small point. I have lost 84lbs six months tomorrow. I had horrible complications after surgery and just now eating small amounts. Them tonight at the gym he points out to me a chic he thinks is hot and wants to meet. ( we have a unique relationship ). Let me just say I weigh about 40lbs more than her and she truly was not attractive. I told him my thoughts and now he is mad at me. For real mad. Like not talking to me. I nearly died with this surgery. All I ever wanted was to be thin and attractive. He always looks at hot Chics which I can handle. But to tell me he doesn't like me now. I dunno what to say or do. At one time I would've eaten a bag of chips. Now I am just pissed Good thing I see the shrink Thursday. He will earn his money. Thanks for letting me vent. Gonna go cry now. Sent from my iPhone using VST Holly, sweetheart, listen to me. I was in a relationship for 12 years. 12 LOOOONG years. Some of them good and others very bad. Basically I learned he cheated, I would get pissed, kick him to the curb and then take his sorry as$ back because I thought no one else would want me looking the way that I do(this happened several times). I already felt worthless. I didn't value myself as an individual. Sure, I'm a freaking phenomenal person, but from the outside, nobody really knows that. He was all i knew for a LOOOONG time and after every time that he cheated (I consider cheating sleeping with another person, kissing, being intimate, and taking a girls phone number since you met her at a bar and she seemed like a cool chick). I AM A COOL FUKCING CHICK! RIGHT HERE! YOU *******! Anyway, one day, we were in the pool and the topic of marriage came up. He said, and I quote: "I could never marry you looking like this. Our wedding pictures would look horrible." That stuck with me, for a long long time. Till this day actually. I broke things off a few months ago and although there are still some lines of communication open (I'm the type of person who doesn't want to fight. I have no need for enemies) I'm much happier than I was before. Now, he sees me losing weight and all I think about is (insert Borat voice) "you will never get this! You will never get this!" I hope you get to that place soon. The place when the past doesn't matter and all you're looking forward to is the future. Good luck! 3 Kimmy1813, BethinPA and HatheryOnHerWay reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LI Gemini NY 607 Posted May 24, 2013 Holly' date=' sweetheart, listen to me. I was in a relationship for 12 years. 12 LOOOONG years. Some of them good and others very bad. Basically I learned he cheated, I would get pissed, kick him to the curb and then take his sorry as back because I thought no one else would want me looking the way that I do(this happened several times). I already felt worthless. I didn't value myself as an individual. Sure, I'm a freaking phenomenal person, but from the outside, nobody really knows that. He was all i knew for a LOOOONG time and after every time that he cheated (I consider cheating sleeping with another person, kissing, being intimate, and taking a girls phone number since you met her at a bar and she seemed like a cool chick). I AM A COOL FUKCING CHICK! RIGHT HERE! YOU *******! Anyway, one day, we were in the pool and the topic of marriage came up. He said, and I quote: "I could never marry you looking like this. Our wedding pictures would look horrible." That stuck with me, for a long long time. Till this day actually. I broke things off a few months ago and although there are still some lines of communication open (I'm the type of person who doesn't want to fight. I have no need for enemies) I'm much happier than I was before. Now, he sees me losing weight and all I think about is (insert Borat voice) "you will never get this! You will never get this!" I hope you get to that place soon. The place when the past doesn't matter and all you're looking forward to is the future. Good luck![/quote'] Aries, you're awesome. I'm happy that you're happy now. I hate seeing people in relationships with jerks. I'm glad you broke it off with him! What a tool! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aries 95 Posted May 24, 2013 Aries' date=' you're awesome. I'm happy that you're happy now. I hate seeing people in relationships with jerks. I'm glad you broke it off with him! What a tool![/quote'] Thanks Gemini what a relief to no longer be in a toxic relationship. Hope you're doing well!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Recycled 2,182 Posted May 24, 2013 Let's see.....the forum says "Gastric sleeve success stories" She has alot of success with her sleeve and is losing weight quickly. Great. topic covered. She also has said she is going to a shrink. No one here actually knows her or her husband or an actual "whole" story...... So, contrary to the many somewhat prejudiced responses........... Holly, you and your husband and maybe the shrink or a counselor are the ones that should be working on your issues, not random bitter advice from anyone on this or other forums. Good luck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites