Lower BMI Bandsters!

[kathyinca 0]

Denise882,

I for some reason am all of a sudden really dreading when people start really noticing that I am losing weight.

I have a friend who had RNY and when we used to go to dinner after the surgery I was truly in shock at how little she ate. It was not just "diet portions." I think WLS portions are just so much smaller that they invite attention. If I hadn't known I feel certain I would have commented on it because it was such a small amount that she ate. I may have commented on it even knowing.

For some reason this whole idea of people watching what I am eating or commenting about what I am eating is stressful to me tonight. There must be some psychological nerve that is hitting me that I haven't figured out yet.

I was self conscience about this as well. And then, at a dinner party I needed to go to, the darn waiter asks "Didn't you like your meal, ma'am?" Ugh........that is just what I needed. I also was so annoyed -- I figured he wouldn't go ask some skinny lady that.

Anyway, it is good you are telling folks you are dieting. I did the same and while I'm sure that some of my portions invite attention.......oh well. I still refuse to tell them all that I've had surgery. It is none of their business.

I also did and do skip lunches with colleagues because I work with a large enough group of people that the don't notice when I'm missing......they just figure I eat earlier than them or later than them. It helped me during the liquid stage b/c I knew someone would wonder what I was up to.

Hang in there.......it will get better. Then, before your first fill when you have no restriction (sorry......the day WILL arrive), you'll really confuse folks b/c you'll be able to eat anything!! Make sure you schedule some time with one of your cooking friends or your sister those days! I actually laugh now because I must have some folks REALLY confused. I go from liquids and not eating, to eating normally large portions, to small portions. I figure -- this fill will need to be topped off at some point and I'll go back to bigger portions. At least this surgery will keep them guessing. :clap2:

My biggest issue now is just eating slow, chewing enough, and eating the *right* foods so that I don't need to abruptly leave the table and PB. That has been a challenge to get all those things right in my first week of being filled. I don't think I'm too tight since if I do all these things, I'm okay. I also have no issues with liquids. But, man -- this is a real learning experience.

Good luck!

K

[ser123 0]

Kathyinca,

HAHAHA.... You made me laugh about confusing people! That is part of the reason I don't want to say anything right now, because I am certainly not stable with what I am eating and not eating. I know if I say I had WLS and then go eat a huge meal people are going to start judging and naysaying.

I like you idea of avoiding them until I have no restriction! HA. You made me feel a lot better. Thanks

I was self conscience about this as well. And then, at a dinner party I needed to go to, the darn waiter asks "Didn't you like your meal, ma'am?" Ugh........that is just what I needed. I also was so annoyed -- I figured he wouldn't go ask some skinny lady that.

Anyway, it is good you are telling folks you are dieting. I did the same and while I'm sure that some of my portions invite attention.......oh well. I still refuse to tell them all that I've had surgery. It is none of their business.

I also did and do skip lunches with colleagues because I work with a large enough group of people that the don't notice when I'm missing......they just figure I eat earlier than them or later than them. It helped me during the liquid stage b/c I knew someone would wonder what I was up to.

Hang in there.......it will get better. Then, before your first fill when you have no restriction (sorry......the day WILL arrive), you'll really confuse folks b/c you'll be able to eat anything!! Make sure you schedule some time with one of your cooking friends or your sister those days! I actually laugh now because I must have some folks REALLY confused. I go from liquids and not eating, to eating normally large portions, to small portions. I figure -- this fill will need to be topped off at some point and I'll go back to bigger portions. At least this surgery will keep them guessing. :clap2:

My biggest issue now is just eating slow, chewing enough, and eating the *right* foods so that I don't need to abruptly leave the table and PB. That has been a challenge to get all those things right in my first week of being filled. I don't think I'm too tight since if I do all these things, I'm okay. I also have no issues with liquids. But, man -- this is a real learning experience.

Good luck!

K

[Big girl banded 0]

, the darn waiter asks "Didn't you like your meal, ma'am?" Ugh........that is just what I needed. I also was so annoyed -- I figured he wouldn't go ask some skinny lady that.

Actually they would. Anyone who eats less then 1/4 of there meal it is customary for a waiter to make sure things are ok. Even if you are a pole the waiter is suppose to inquire

I cut them off at the pass... as they come to the table i tell them how wonder the dish is. Then there is no question. It works everytime.

I LOVE doing lunches and not dinner. It is more acceptable to eat a lite lunch then dinner. And i can order Soups for lunches. This is great and no one questions me. Or I tell them i had a lot of coffee and it curbed my appetite. There are tons of ways to avoid questions. I dont even tell people I am on a diet. That isnt their business either. If they ask i tell them i am trying to be good and laugh about how long that it might last.

[madden 0]

I have just been saying I have a touch of the stomach flu or don't feel well!

It sounds like we are all telling the same white lie; but Know that I am eating the white lies have stoped and I just eat a real small portion. I am going to try not to worry what other think. I just am telling them I am cutting my portion size.

Madden

[madden 0]

Audree,

Did you find a Protein Shake that you liked? I used a Myoplex because I have about 1000 of them. I used a Myoplex Light chocolate cream, added soy milk and a Tblspoon of Peanut Butter. I can tell you I have never added Peanut butter to a shake before because of calories. I did this time because I figured it was going to take me 4 hours to drink it and that it would last me half the day.

The shake with vanilla soy milk and peanut butter was absolutely great. I loved it. And I have gotten to a point where I have drank so many Protein Shakes with Water only to minimize the calories that sometimes the thought of a Protein shake can make me YAK.

I am sick of protein shakes as well. That is making me have almost all protein meals. I am down to one shake a day. I don't like peanut butter so that is a bummer.

Madden

[madden 0]

Hey Guys,

Today is the first day I reached up in my closet and took out a pair of pants that had been too small and they fit. Not a big change. From a 22w to a 20w. I went and got a cute little hair cute yesterday and am really getting some of my postive additude back.

I am excited to have a support network with all of you. I need to post some pictures.

I am also excited that a few of us are going to do the south beach diet. I have the big book and am going to refresh up on it. My true bible however the lap band book comes first and we can put the two together and loose lots of weight. It is snowing like crazy so I think I am going to dust off the snow shoes and go for a whirl and maybe take the kids sliding. Two months ago I would have been tierd from all that dawm food. I feel like the cuff is off my ankle and away from the frig. I am going to have the same meal for Breakfast and lunch today as yesterday and maybe half a hamburg patty for supper and a little cottage cheese and a little apple sauce for supper.

Sorry if I sound too upbeat that is just how I always am.

I'll touch base later.

Madden

[madden 0]

Actually they would. Anyone who eats less then 1/4 of there meal it is customary for a waiter to make sure things are ok. Even if you are a pole the waiter is suppose to inquire

I cut them off at the pass... as they come to the table i tell them how wonder the dish is. Then there is no question. It works everytime.

I LOVE doing lunches and not dinner. It is more acceptable to eat a lite lunch then dinner. And i can order Soups for lunches. This is great and no one questions me. Or I tell them i had a lot of coffee and it curbed my appetite. There are tons of ways to avoid questions. I dont even tell people I am on a diet. That isnt their business either. If they ask i tell them i am trying to be good and laugh about how long that it might last.

Thanks for the advice. What is hard for me is ordering a drink to go with my meal when I am out with my girlfriends. I was bad yesterday and had a drink with a child size plate. It did'nt kill me and I had no pain. The cat is out of the bag.

Madden

[~Jules~ 0]

Hey Guys,

Today is the first day I reached up in my closet and took out a pair of pants that had been too small and they fit. Not a big change. From a 22w to a 20w.

Madden,

That is awesome. You are doing great!!!!!!

[Sophie248 0]

I also am feeling stressed about the comments people will be making about my food intake and weight loss. We can look at this two ways. The negative way would be that they are being judgemental, intrusive, or critical. The positive way would be they are trying to be supportive, complimentary, and care about my health/wellbeing. I have a tendancy to look at things in the negative light at the moment because of my self-esteem issues, but we will need to work hard view all comments as positive (even if they might not be - I'll just pretend they are).

I'm trying to practice in my head how issues will be handled. Some ideas I've come up with about my food intake:

-If I'm at a restaurant, I'll ask for a to-go box and put the portion I'm not eating in it right away. That way I will have little food left on my plate AND probably dinner for the next 3 days.

-If I'm at a party, I'll carry around a plate of food while I'm mingling, but take mini bites, throw out the plate of leftovers (secretivly) and go through the buffet line again.

-"My stomach is a bit upset."

-"Yeah, I'm trying the new elf diet. (ie. Eat less food)."

-"I'm on a strict diet plan - no cheating allowed whatsoever - please don't ask me to compromise my health."

Re: comments about the weight loss - I sometimes think I will want to hide under large clothing as to not draw attention to myself - then I think how crazy that is! I've been wanting to loose weight for 17 yrs. Accepting compliments graciously will be a must, and then truly realizing we deserve the postive feedback because of all the hard work we are doing - treat them as a victory in our journey.

I'm really having a hard time with another issue though. My 17 year old son found the information on the surgery that I had left out, and was angry that I was even considering it. He doesn't feel I'm overweight enough to have surgery. He's always known me at my current weight. I haven't even told my 15 year old son yet. Not sure how to handle this. Any ideas? My husband is supportive as he's seen my struggles with weight loss all these years. My mother is not very supportive. She is very obese with all kinds of medical problems, but will not consider surgery for herself - feels it's too dangerous and "intrusive." I'm really hoping that she will see it's not so bad from my experience, and will also decide to do something about her health.

[silry 0]

Sorry if I sound too upbeat that is just how I always am.

don't apologize! it's great you are upbeat!!! there is wayyyy too much negativity in the world! and congrats on fitting into the smaller size!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :clap2:

audree: congrats to you for going back to college! that is amazing!!! you are just going to be a whole new you all over the place! :high5:

as for worrying about what to say when people start noticing weight loss - just tell them you have been exercising and watching what you eat. if what i am reading is accurate, you lose at a reasonable pace with the lap band so your loss will be gradual versus massive loss right off the bat.

i cannot spell before my first cup of coffee!!! (which i shall soon be missing. :think )

[ser123 0]

Sophie248,

You have great answers which will work on all but the Family, LOL.

I wish I could tell you what to say for your son... it is hard to talk to teenagers when they AGREE with you, much less disagree!

[Big girl banded 0]

i cannot spell before my first cup of coffee!!! (which i shall soon be missing. :think )

I drink coffee every morning. I can not and will not compromise. If it means i am a little slower getting to my goal, fine. I gave up sodas. i had to put my foot down with coffee and told my doc ahead of time if it meant he wouldnt band me then i would have to find alternatives.

HOWEVER, instead of mocha flavored coffee i mix 1/2 a pack of carnation cocoa flavor... it makes chocolately coffee with the Protein i need.

[BabyGotBack 0]

guess what, I went to my moms today and I opened my big mouth to someone at church and I told them that I was gonna get the gastric bypass done,cause I had gained so much weight, well I said I didnt want my mom knowing cause she would get mad. well they ran straight to the pastor wife then to the phone to my mom, my own kin then mom said I found out why your going to San Diago she told me who told. First of all it is lapband im doing lol and I didnt tell nobody Mom said you are gonna take all the money spend it on your body and still not be happy. I know if Im losing weight Ill be happy. I worry everyday about how I look, then I go to the closet andcant wear nothing then get down and just wanna forgetit but I cant, I am obsessed with my weight. I dont even wanna tell mom forsure now if I go,I will just tell her to pray for me this week. Im sure we got alot of prayer warriors on here to. well I had to talk yo someone. If you have any suggestings for me let em fly

"If God be for you, who can be against you"

I felt the same in the beginning, wanting my mom's approval. But, in the end, it is my body. My husband and mom thought the same thing before I had my Tummy Tuck, what if it was psychological and I still wouldn't be happy. Well, I was and still am very happy about it!!!!!

I proved them wrong!!! My mom was not to thrilled about me getting banded, but I told her that it was what I was going to do and needed positive support. I also felt that God had provided for me in a timely manner for me to do the surgery. I told her my husband and I had prayed about it and we had both gotten peace about it, the peace only God can give. She left me alone after that and started just saying nothing about it, which is better than trying to talk me out of it.

She has also seen me struggle all my life and was seeing me once again starting to gain it back.

I only told one friend from church, but also just relocated from that church to another church. A fresh start in a bigger church! I don't know why God orchestrated it that way, but He did lots of things and changes at the same time!!! He is good!!!!!

[silry 0]

HOWEVER, instead of mocha flavored coffee i mix 1/2 a pack of carnation cocoa flavor... it makes chocolately coffee with the Protein i need.

oh yes!!! bless you for telling me about that!!! as sad as it sounds, i was almost crying over the idea of no coffee. i made a pot yesterday and was just staring at my beautiful fancypants coffee maker and felt a knot in my throat. i already gave up soda and have been weaning myself off of breads...

oh! you know what i just saw at the grocery store?! they have half caff half decaff coffee! typically i grind my own Beans, but i'd buy that! oh... or i could buy decaff Beans and mix those with caff beans and make my own. doh! i am having a monday today for sure!!!

[BabyGotBack 0]

thanks audree, How long did it take once you started wanting the surgery, to have it was it a long wait or less than six months? I dont know how long for me/ it will be but as soon as i get the money in hand I will be setting the appointment up.It seems long when everyone already has theirs and your waiting, but I know alotta people on here are waiting.

Lets see.....My friend told me about it a year ago, but I didn't think about it for myself at the time. She then one day asked me, when I was crying about my dieting and recent weight gain, why I didn't look into banding. She told me to come on here. Nov. 22 was the date I joined and started asking my questions, made my decision about choosing Dr. Ortiz, bought his book, my financing that I had been trying to get for home improvements that had not gone through for 6 months was now "miraculously" coming through now, for such a time as this.....

I scheduled surgery for Dec. 18 but had to reschudule since the money didn't come in in time, a few days too late. Resceduled for Jan. 5 and had it done!!! So, my time line from the date I even considered it for myself to the time I had it done, was only about 1 1/2 months!!!!!

Had my money come through, when I was hoping, it would have gone to wood floors or granit countertops!!!!

Audree