female only Sex?

[apelt001 116]

Ok so I had my vsg on jan 29 i was 322 i am now 250 and I am hitting a wall. Its like my sex life is non existent. I feel more confident and sexy with my clothes on but I just do not hace any desire to Be intimate with my fiance. Its like my sex drive has been refocused on my running and eatting right. Any advice, does it ever level out? I feel bad that I dont satisfy him like ever anymore yet I used to be the one gearing up ready to go. So frusterated.

[rebecca_dsu 241]

Well for most women, sex starts way before the clothes come off. Getting in the "mood" is so important... if we are stressed, or have a long list of "to do items", for me something simple as having a sink full of dirty dishes is enough to keep me distracted (so my husband knows a fast tract to get me in the mood is putting the dishes in the dishwasher for me...ha!!).

You can't put sex in a box... so is your fiance showing you "love" outside the bedroom. Does he meet whatever needs you need him to outside of the bedroom? Are you guys spending quality time together before sexy time? Is there a connection happening first, or are you just crawling in to bed and expecting magic to happen.

Sometimes we want to figure out whats going on, and since the sleeve is new we may try to focus the blame on it...but is it really? I'm just asking...I'm presleeved so I don't know the answer.

Just asking to make sure there isn't something else going on... If you feel sexy, I don't think the issue is with your body... something else is going on. Do you find your fiance sexy??

[Katnroyal 225]

I think the sleeve effects us all differently. When I started losing, my hormones were all over the place and I had the sex drive of a 19 year old boy, the further out I have gotten the more that has leveled out. I agree that sometimes we focus so much on other things we forget about romance, and as women, most of us need romance to get in the mood. I would suggest a romantic evening out or some good one on one quality time.

[apelt001 116]

Thanks for the advice!!!! I do find my fiance attractive, im wonderin if i am over thinking my own body bc without clothes ugh i gross myself out but i see my own imperfections and they end up being my main focus. Ill try to work on it i guess i need to find my confidence in the bedroom again lol