**sigh** self sabatoge

[losingjusme 12]

ok ... i am supposed to be back on track today. ate a balance bar for Breakfast, had a south beach wrap meal for lunch today..

my 'snack' ?? 2 pieces of pizza. 2 pieces from a 14 or 16 inch pizza .. what the hell am i doing????

this weekend went ok ... no major drama with my parents, why am i eating it? we actually pitched the rest of my daughter's birthday cake because i was petrified that i would finish it (1/4 sheet cake). so why did i eat the pizza? well, i guess the logical answer would be because it was there ...

i knew i was doing the wrong thing as i was eating it, but i didnt stop.

i thought i was past that point to where i had to get rid of food so i wouldnt eat it. i feel so discouraged... :cry

[ReneBean 3]

I worry that I will NEVER get past that point. I don't know what to tell you. Not only why did you eat it? But why did you even purchase said evil delight?

I find myself lately buying things that have no business being in my house. Since when is trail mix (with yogurt balls and chocolate chips) part of a healthy diet? GRRRRR. I went to the store hungry. Like an idiot.

pizza is particularly evil. It costs the same for a SMALL pizza as it does for a super mondo huge size?!?! Well DUH! Any good American knows it is better to get more for the same amount of money, right?? I mean it would be pretty stupid not to get the Most for your Money... UNLESS, of course, you are a Bandster.... But, gosh! It just seems wrong to pay the same amount for that tiny little pizza that you would for a big one... and you can always convince yourself that today is the day you will have the will power to put it away for lunch tomorrow....

I don't know what to tell you. I am SOOOO there with you.

Hugs!!!

[juliegeraci 7]

Start over. Also, if you can get 2 slices of pizza down with no problem you may want to consider another fill. You shouldn't be able to eat that much at once. Sad but true. Especially bread. Good luck.

[threebeauties 0]

I will just add that I see you were banded 10/9. Why do you think you should be past the point of...............anything.

Your band is still new and bad habits are hard to break. You've had those bad habits WAY longer than you've had the band.

Keep trying, you'll get there. You are definately heading in the right direction MOST of the time. good job with the cake, giving it the old heave ho. Next time, the pizza will follow it down the drain.

Don't beat yourself up! You are doing great!

[CCBSTX 0]

If you are eating 2 pieces of pizza as a snack, then consider a fill. I don't have much room to talk, when you saying self-sabatoge....I'm there.

However, it's my constant grazing is my downfall. I HATE this time of year, when it comes to the constant food-in-my-face.

I'm no so sure, if my "head" will ever be on straight..

Take care. Shawn

[transformer 1]

You have already lost almost 50 pounds? That's incredible!

So, you slipped...now get back on track!

Develop a laser-focus on your short-term goal.

Hang something to inspire you where you can see it.

Do some extra exercise to burn off the extra calories.

Go get some sleep--tomorrow is another day and another chance to make a fresh start!

YOU CAN DO IT!!! :cheer2:

[losingjusme 12]

thanks for the replies ...

why was it in the house? cause we had it for lunch on Sunday and there were 3 pieces left over. i guess the 'bright side' (if there really is one) is that i didnt eat all 3 pieces...

i just posted a thread on whether i should get a fill because i truly am conflicted. i have lost 51 pounds (well, i just gained 2 1/2) in the past 2 months. last month i lost over 22 pounds. i do work my rear off at the gym though - i go on average 6-8 times a week and my "plan" for the next 2 weeks is to go 16 times. 1 down - 15 to go...

i know i shouldnt eat pizza and i will not be having it again for awhile, same w/ birthday cake. my DH's b-day is the 21st. i will get 2 cupcakes - one for him and one for DD. i will have a single bite of someones.

my goal for the next 2 weeks is 10 pounds. i cannot do that by eating wrong types of food... i KNOW that. i really truly do know that. and that is what makes me so mad!!! i do know better yet i ate the pizza. and the worse thing is - it wasnt even THAT good..

i am not going to beat myself up over it, i will not let this self destructive behavior continue.

tomorrow i will go on the treadmill again in the morning (up to a max of an incline of 12) and in the evening i will go to my step class.

back in the saddle.

thanks for your words of encouragement - it really does help. every once in awhile a good swift kick is a good thing.

[MissyC 0]

Justme, I think your doing great. I know all about self-sabotage. 7 months out, and I still struggle with bad food choices.

It sounds to me like you are making WAY WAY more good choices than bad. Don't beat yourself up to much..you are on the right track.

[flabuless 18]

I do it all the time...I mean so well but even today I had a huge plate of bacon and eggs, sausage, mushrooms, grilled tomatoe, hashbrowns, toast...I couldn't eat it all...gave some to my kids but I had FAR too much! and then when I was feeling bad enough about that I brought a bar of chocolate and had 4 sweet biscuits...So i know exactly how you feel...I keep on telling myself i am not going to do it again...binge eating but sometimes the temptation is just too much.

so I totally feel for you and understand...hopefully I will listen to my own advise...tomorro is another day!

becky

[Terrilen 0]

I am a binge eater and a recovering bulimic. Trust me I know exactly what you are feeling when it comes to food! You are going to be fine. Look at what a great start you have! Be kinder to yourself! You are worthy of all the wonderful things to come your way! Great Job!

[TamifromAL 1]

Good grief, at the rate you're exercising, it sounds like you're doing the "Biggest Loser" weight loss plan, and just about pulling the same numbers, too. Hey, even on there, sometimes they have a challenge that requires eating something "off plan", and they still lose. With that much exercise, your body can handle it once in a while.

I know what you mean about the fill question, because I'm right there, with you. I've lost plenty, and doubt that I'll get a fill simply for that reason (appt. today), but I'm hungry between meals, and sometimes it seems like I can eat a ton. I ate a whole Taco Bell taco salad yesterday, and the last time I had one several weeks ago, I could only eat half. So, I really think I need one, but doubt I'll get it due to the weight loss. But, like you, I really don't want to be over-filled, either. So, I won't argue the point if the doc says to wait on a fill.

Good luck and congrats on your progress!

Tami

[losingjusme 12]

Tami,

thanks - i am literally working my rear off ... i am going to the gym 6-8 times a week. 36 mins on the treadmill with a pretty major incline (7 or more) plus a 30 minute step class 3 times a week.

it is TOM so i think i am eating more now, but i am trying to eat more healthy items ... **shrug** i just want to drop this weight NOW! ya know?

[faybie 0]

losingjusme,

I was feeling very guilty about things that I ate before my fill too. I told the xray/fill technician that I thought I had stretched my pouch because I was eating too much.

I drank the barium stuff and she took a look at everything and says "you have done fine, you are eating more because you are wide open".

It was really great to hear her say that. I was so paranoid that I would stretch my pouch that I was having huge mood swings thinking that I was going to sabotage my 16k surgery. After I got to my sweet spot, there is no way I could sabotage myself if I wanted to.

I didn't read your post on "should I get a fill". Personally for me, it was difficult without the fill because I didn't have the strength/will power to fight my head hunger all by myself (hence the reason I am overweight to begin with). I think you should use your band as the tool it was designed to be. If you aren't feeling full after small portions of food then you aren't restricted enough.

Hats off to you, because if you can exercise and lose weight without restriction then you are doing better than I could do.

[Fauxnaif 1]

Congrats on your loss so far!

Excellent move, getting rid of the cake. We have to do that too.

Forgive yourself and move on. Honestly, it took me like at least a year to consistently (fairly consistently) not be so easily seduced by food. Heck, I'm a very slow learner (and stubborn and tend to doubt that the laws of physics apply to me) so maybe you'll change your head faster.

You're still a young bandster. As long as you are making good choices most of the time, you will lose weight. Think about it that way.

And, I agree that you may need a fill.

[losingjusme 12]

2nd fill is wednesday ...

**sigh** it feels like someone sucked the restriction out of me.