body image post op

[AliveAgain 283]

Yes, Janice5/23. I've had body image issues post op, probably not exactly the same as yours - but issues nonetheless. I've lost 145 pounds, have been maintaining for months now. I'm very proud of my weight loss, and I feel absolutely wonderful. I did this mostly for my health, also, and am grateful to have gained a healthy perspective of food again.

However, I look at pictures of myself and do miss some of my soft curves - especially some of the softness that I used to have in my face. I see much more of my bones now, and my skin is saggy in areas that will always remind me of my weight loss. This doesn't mean I wish I was obese again by any means, but yes - I get it. All I can say is that my health, happiness and ability to to do so many things like running, swimming, cycling and go for long days on hikes, museums, etc. absolutely outweigh the issues I have with how I look on the outside.

Best of luck to you either way, the right motivation will lead you through any doubts.

[Bringingskinnyback 2]

You posed an interesting question. I think if you are worried about being unhappy with looking too thin, then the surgery is not for you. However, Im almost sure that you will feel better about yourself when you lose weight because your energy levels will increase. My cousin and I have gone at it with each other about this very debate. She is much bigger than I am and she is content to stay that way because her excess weight is a part of her identity and losing weight would make her feel less like herself. I dont feel the same way. To each their own. I am making the commitment to health and in turn doing what is best for me. I hope you have the courage to stay by your choices to do what makes YOU happy.

[LouiseC 1,031]

To me, healthy is beautiful. If you need to lose weight for your health, then your weight is currently causing you poor health. Poor health is not attractive. This isn't about body issues or esteem, this is about health.

Healthy is attractive, not because the media tells us so but because of the biological imperative. We are driven towards finding healthy partners, ergo, healthy is what is deemed attractive.

When I was considering the surgery my husband only had one question to ask me and it was "do you think this surgery will make you love yourself?" To which I responded, " are you for real? You know I love myself, I am freaking awesome!" Or words to that effect. He laughed and then agreed to support me in the journey.

We both knew that if I had esteem issues then the simple fact of losing weight was not going to resolve that. Self love is based on more.

Did I think I was attractive? Yes and no. There were bits I liked and bits I didn't. My weight had spiralled out of control and I was not happy with being so very fat. I knew I had to take control of it for my health, and I wanted to take control of it so that when I looked in the mirror I knew I was being all that it was possible for me to be.

I am near to goal weight now, have lost over 100 pounds, I look and feel fantastic. I am hotter than ever. But most of all, I am healthier than I have been in a very long time.

I have little time for people trying to say that fat is beautiful because it isn't, it is an excuse to not do anything about being fat. I know because I tried lots of excuses on for size until none of them fit anymore and I decided to be honest with myself and those I love. It is like calling a beauty spot beautiful and unique and not getting it removed when really it could turn into a cancerous melanoma.

Calling morbidly obese beautiful is just the language of denial.

Please note, I am talking fat here, not fat people, just fat. People are beautiful, the fat they carry isn't. I know the distinction but may not have articulated it well.

[NewSetOfCurves 1,553]

I'm a big girl with a WHOLE lot of confidence. I feel very beautiful, my husband makes me feel beautiful, and people flatter me all the time. There is nothing wrong with being confident and loving yourself despite your size. I don't think anybody is judging you about that, but rather commenting on the information you had provided.

Now, I too agree with you. I find people with "meat on their bones" more attractive. I don't want to get too skinny because I LOVE my curves, but my health is more important. You just have to access if this surgery is right for you, and based on you health issues, it may be. However, you must be prepared to lose a LOT of weight. Like Laura-ven said, you will lose about 75% of your excess weight. If that makes you feel uncomfortable, then perhaps you should seek alternative methods. This is in no way casting judgement; rather, it is a suggestion for you to explore more options because although health is EXTREAMLY important, so is your happiness. You can be healthiest person alive, but if you're knee deep in your own misery, then your stuck in a river that isn't living.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope you find the answers you seek.

[AdeptDreamer 104]

I hear people already telling me not to lose too much weight because I will look sickly. But I think that can be avoided with taking vitamins/water/protein. I'm 21 so I'm hoping that will help too. But I am going to start therapy, and hope it will help with the whole adjustment.

Good Luck

[******** 397]

Thank you everyone for the encouragement.