Kalimomof3 613 Posted May 9, 2013 Tell them you had a personal surgery and everything is fine now 'nuff said. If they ask questions tell them you don't want to talk about it.They should respect your privacy:) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
O.T.R. sleever 3,386 Posted May 9, 2013 Would you be open to sharing all this info with people who you barely know in person? It's easy to be open and honest on a forum' date=' so it doesn't surprise me that you would be fine with answering these questions because of the anonymity of the internet. Being honest is also saying that you are watching what you eat and eating smaller portions, that's not a lie and it is a totally valid/truthful response also.[/quote'] A lie of omission is still a lie. 2 Amie and LouiseC reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
No game 14,437 Posted May 9, 2013 I know' date=' I usually don't comment and the one time I do I get this :-) I believe I just need to stop explaining myself and digging myself deeper. it really wasn't meant to be an argument, just a thought I had. Lesson learned, I'll just continue to be a lurker from now on.[/quote'] Don't do that! We all have opinions and you know what they say about those! Your fine! We are all fine! It's a good day smile 6 SpaceDust, skintowin, Mrswynter22 and 3 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Banned member 320 Posted May 9, 2013 A lie of omission is still a lie. That's your OPINION that it's a lie by omission. It's also another attempt to shame someone into disclosing something that they consider private, which in this case happens to be surgery. Are you saying that you are willing to share any and everything with strangers when asked? 1 newat52 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
O.T.R. sleever 3,386 Posted May 9, 2013 That's your OPINION that it's a lie by omission. It's also another attempt to shame someone into disclosing something that they consider private' date=' which in this case happens to be surgery. Are you saying that you are willing to share any and everything with strangers when asked?[/quote'] We will just have to disagree on this one. As I stated earlier. I really don't care whether you do or don't tell about your surgery. You can tell people that you don't want to talk about it. That is a truth, and maintains your privacy. But when you calculate what you tell people in order to make them believe something other than reality, IN MY OPINION that is dishonest. Maybe not technically a lie, but still dishonest. Sorry, but to me my integrity means more to me than some random strangers opinion. 2 AmandaRaeLeo and Amie reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
No game 14,437 Posted May 9, 2013 We will just have to disagree on this one. As I stated earlier. I really don't care whether you do or don't tell about your surgery. You can tell people that you don't want to talk about it. That is a truth' date=' and maintains your privacy. But when you calculate what you tell people in order to make them believe something other than reality, IN MY OPINION that is dishonest. Maybe not technically a lie, but still dishonest. Sorry, but to me my integrity means more to me than some random strangers opinion.[/quote'] Wow OTR that's pretty hard lined! I'm glad I don't make myself live up to those standards! Dude my moral compass my be off to you, but I sleep well at night all the same 6 Kalimomof3, Ms.AntiBand, SpaceDust and 3 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
newat52 1,613 Posted May 9, 2013 Some of the comparisons to list here are pretty unreasonable. For example, income. Openly exposing your income (if it is substantial) is dangerous, it makes you a target for identity theft, and has the potential of causing an immense amount of hassle from money grubbers. Lets see, number of sexual partners? IDK, but it's over 20 Income? Well above the national average Spend shopping? More than I should, less than I can Debt? I'M DEBT FREEEEE!!!!! Financial issues? I always like more (but I am appreciative of what I have) Marital issues? Pretty much revolve around kids. There you go. All answers are "truthful" or "honest". I believe those terms are interchangeable. Another "Honest" response might be, "I'm not comfortable sharing right now." Or "I'd rather not say." . I haven't seen anybody insinuate that anyone needs to divulge anything they are not comfortable with. What I have seen is people saying "don't lie". Interesting that you define those answers as truth but yet are vague and not complete. Then you turn around and say that "A lie by omission is still a lie" Which is it? You can't have it both ways. You either tell it all or you are lying. That's what I hear you saying. Interesting indeed. It must be hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
newat52 1,613 Posted May 9, 2013 This subject never ends well. I totally respect everyone's decision to tell, not tell, tell part, tell any or not at all. I still fail to see why those who value privacy are called liars, embarrassed and dishonest. I can only speculate. Have a great day people, however side of this coin you fall on. Yes, even you OTR. 2 Ms.AntiBand and Banned member reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Banned member 320 Posted May 9, 2013 We will just have to disagree on this one. As I stated earlier. I really don't care whether you do or don't tell about your surgery. You can tell people that you don't want to talk about it. That is a truth, and maintains your privacy. But when you calculate what you tell people in order to make them believe something other than reality, IN MY OPINION that is dishonest. Maybe not technically a lie, but still dishonest. Sorry, but to me my integrity means more to me than some random strangers opinion. This is your attempt at telling me and others what we should do/say!. It's not up to you to decide what is and isn't an appropriate response to a question about how we lost the weight. You were also very vague when answering my questions and I guess I'm vague when it comes to my response about surgery............ we have something in common. Your integrity is YOUR INTEGRITY! You can't apply those standards to everyone else and then try to shame them for doing something that you wouldn't do. If you personally didn't care about whether or not people shared their surgery, then you wouldn't use words such as "dishonest" or "(lack) integrity". To me those words imply that we are lying. If you didn't care then there would be no discussion at all, it would be..... do whats right for you *end of story*. 1 newat52 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
No game 14,437 Posted May 9, 2013 *••• runs in drops this off•••* *•••runs back out saying "I'll be right back I forgot the stick•••* 2 Losin4good and skintowin reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tastic 10 Posted May 9, 2013 I'm new to the forum thing n support system app, but I love the different opinions n ideas, u are all so passionate. I did my surgery five mths ago and I told my coworkers I had ulcer stomach surgery. People are too judgemental in my country about things like WLS. I told 2 coworker/friends n everytime something happens, it's the surgery. My weight loss is due to starvation, that's my story because our portion size huge so my new tiny portion appears to others as starvation. Wrong maybe! But I'm just trying to survive. WLS has been such an emotional journey for me I don't need the added 3 sweets0211, Cat360 and Kalimomof3 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eressa76 19 Posted May 9, 2013 We are all here to share our opinions and you know what they say abut opinions. Bottom line is do what works for YOU and YOUR life. You shouldn't feel pressured to give anyone and explanation about your life. There is a negative stigma with WLS and I'm sure none of us woke up and said let me get my stomach chopped up. We thought long and hard about it and who wants the negativity. You will find more negative comments that supportive ones out there because everyone is not educated about WLS. At the end of the day do what makes you happy and comfortable. 3 sweets0211, Banned member and Mrswynter22 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
O.T.R. sleever 3,386 Posted May 9, 2013 This is your attempt at telling me and others what we should do/say!. It's not up to you to decide what is and isn't an appropriate response to a question about how we lost the weight. You were also very vague when answering my questions and I guess I'm vague when it comes to my response about surgery............ we have something in common. Your integrity is YOUR INTEGRITY! You can't apply those standards to everyone else and then try to shame them for doing something that you wouldn't do. If you personally didn't care about whether or not people shared their surgery' date=' then you wouldn't use words such as "dishonest" or "(lack) integrity". To me those words imply that we are lying. If you didn't care then there would be no discussion at all, it would be..... do whats right for you *end of story*.[/quote'] As I previously stated. We happen to disagree on this subject. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BriDawn 79 Posted May 10, 2013 Phew, this sure blew up. I think I'll probably end up telling them that I've had some abdominal surgery because I had stomach issues. And that I'm now on a medically supervised diet. Not really untrue. I don't want to tell them about my sleeve because honestly, I don't feel like talking about it all day long. I don't need the constant questions about it. This is something I've done for myself but it isn't something that I want to take over my life. I just don't need coworkers constantly eyeing what I'm eating, asking about it, asking how much weight I've lost, etc etc. especially if I stall or anything else. 3 Ms.AntiBand, Mrswynter22 and Vixynne reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rosa 29 Posted May 10, 2013 When I went for my consultation I signed a document saying I received a copy of my right to privacy when it comes to my health care. I choose to exercise that right. Everyone has a right to tell or not to tell. Just because your body obviously changing and it is being noticed does not mean you owe an explanation. 4 Eressa76, newat52, Kalimomof3 and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites