Ideas for what to tell people?

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

I'm choosing only to tell a very few close individuals. I wouldn't mind everyone else knowing if I could just tell them and be done; but unfortunately, I know a lot of people who would choose to never let the subject drop. I want to get on with my normal life, and not field a constant barrage of "How are you feeling?", "How much have you lost?", "I read that such and such had the surgery", etc. I just don't need that extra stress and accountability to people that don't matter to me.

[Vixynne 695]

I'm choosing only to tell a very few close individuals. I wouldn't mind everyone else knowing if I could just tell them and be done; but unfortunately, I know a lot of people who would choose to never let the subject drop. I want to get on with my normal life, and not field a constant barrage of "How are you feeling?", "How much have you lost?", "I read that such and such had the surgery", etc. I just don't need that extra stress and accountability to people that don't matter to me.

I agree!

On a positive note, I did open up to my mom and one of my sisters earlier this week, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that they were both very supportive and happy about my decision to seek surgery. My support system just grew by two more people--and that just might give me the bravery I need to share this decision with other people in my life who do matter to me.

Onward and upward!

[Healthiernewme 81]

I find no need to say anything to anyone. I only took two days off from work and haven't lost that much weight yet. Plus, I don't want anyone monitoring my progress or what I eat. I did this for me.

[Danilax 56]

I don't like the idea of a lot of people knowing about it either. Since I've had complications I can't hide that there was a medical issue. When people ask, I say I had surgery or stomach surgery. If someone were to flat-out ask how I lost the weight (haven't lost enough yet to be noticed), I would tell them the truth because...that's how I lost the weight. But I know some people will judge. I don't mind being judged when I did nothing wrong but it helps that I am confident that the surgery was the right thing for me to do.

Last week I had to be re-admitted due to a complication and an old family friend asked me if I had weight loss surgery. When I answered "yes" she got pretty upset and started talking about other people she knew who had it and then suffered like I was suffering. She thought I'd been pressured into it. I made it clear that I wanted the surgery and was aware that complications can come with major surgery. I didn't like that she was negative about it but I also realize it's her opinion and it doesn't have to shake my world just because someone has a different opinion.

[bamagirl57 17]

Hi, fairly new to vst. I have been researching and planning this for about 2 years. I told my husband first. He is very supportive. I didn't want to tell my mom or anyone else. Mostly shame because I have never in 20 years been able to lose the weight myself. I have told a few others. I am telling more And more. I am at the point of "don't care!" I probably know thirty people who have had wls locally. This is for our health. Either tell or don't! It is your call.

I am almost positive a lady I work with had some type of Wls. I asked her. She said no. I wanted to know so that I would have someone to talk to who had gone through it. So if you don't tell, you may miss an opportunity to help someone else through this difficult adjustment period.

[NtvTxn 1,262]

All right. So I'm due back at work next week and I'm definitely ready to get out of the house!

My question is, what did you guys tell people when you didn't want to reveal the real surgery?

I'm at a loss. Some coworkers can be inquisitive. I won't say "nosey" because they're all very nice, but I'm sure they'll ask where I've been for 3 weeks and notice the ~15 lbs lost!

My thoughts were to say something about stomach ulcers. Or maybe something about my PCOS. I DO have PCOS and that's a major cause of my weight gain, so it's not a huge lie.

And then part of me wants to just tell the truth... Worded in a way like "my PCOS was bad and my insulin was skyrocketing (all true!) so I had this surgery to help me lose weight and fix the issues."

I'm sure I'm worrying over nothing but was just interested in what you guys told others. I'm a "lightweight" so I feel like this may confuse some of them or even insult some of the ladies who are larger than me.

Any tips?

You could be on a 'doctor supervised, lo cal/lo fat diet' That in essence is the truth.

[kczar 166]

This is tricky. So much depends on the size of your company, how long you've been there and your relationship with your coworkers. I work in a three person office. I told my boss but not my coworker. We're in an office suite and after a few months I had a couple of people comment about my weight loss. One of them, I just said I was doing high Protein, low carb. I had a closer relationship with the other two so I told then about being sleeved. All three would be considered normal size and the two I told were supportive.

Don't know if this helps, but I believe there isn't one right answer. Just don't do what someone threatened to do last year: tell her coworkers she had cancer because it would explain her weight loss and possible Hair loss. Bad karma!

[chasaty379 15]

Its totally okay if you dont want to tell anyone. Its none of their business. Not everyone is around perfect people who wont judge you so do what is comfortable for you. Telling your business or not telling your business is perfectly okay.

All people know (that are not in my inner circle) is that i had a hernia repair.

[JeffA70 200]

Totally fine, obviously, to tell or not tell people, but I'd say this... You better be prepared for people to ask.

My standard answer is that I lost the weight through 'diet, exercise and weight loss surgery.' And it's true. It wasn't my surgeon busting his ass on the elliptical for 40 minutes the other night.

[TES 858]

Sorry, but I think it is very declasse to overshare personal information--I'm cringing at what some people have shared on this thread (personal info not even related to VSG) to prove their "honesty." This kind of oversharing is not a badge of honor--it's an indication of being too self-involved and not having a "filter."

[TES 858]

Susan I find it rather unfortunate that this was not dealt with differently.. I have had hope for months that things would change.. I have had many positive interactions with people. And quite a few debates also.. But there is a point when even I can't turn a blind eye to the flagrant disregard to forum rules by certain people with absolutely no consequences..

I've told you what I think about the moderator. And so have many others...

But nothing changes if nothing changes right?

This is not conducive to anybody's recovery,

It is definitely not good for mine. And at the end of the day that's why I was here.

I've seen a lot of really good people leave the last couple of months. Really good members not just wise cracking hack jobs like me. People that had wisdom compassion and helpful information.

I see now why. At the end of the day they are just one person right? No big deal? I know that them leaving or people like me leaving are nothing to this site at the end of the day because of the sheer numbers of people that come and go on a daily basis here.

Oh well... right?

Looks like something did change--what a relief. Thanks for speaking up, Laura, and thank you to the admins for doing something about a bad situation.

[TES 858]

My life is pretty damn perfect

In my experience, anyone who has to say how "perfect" his or her life is, typically has a far from perfect life. And people with perfect lives don't feel so compelled to impose the way they would do things on everyone else. Live and let live...and realize there are more ways than yours to live a happy, integrity-filled life. It starts by living your life and being happy with your own choices--and not being so relentlessly judgmental of others.