Ideas for what to tell people?

[leeann71 539]

You know what bothers me about this thread? Someone actualy posting that they dont lie. That is a crap load of ****. No one is perfect, who ever you think your maker is did not make a robot they made you human just like the rest of us!

[LouiseC 1,031]

You know what bothers me about this thread? Someone actualy posting that they dont lie. That is a crap load of ****. No one is perfect' date=' who ever you think your maker is did not make a robot they made you human just like the rest of us![/quote']

And what bothers me about this thread is that there are people so comfortable in dishonesty that they can not comprehend that there are people who do not lie. Can you not see how sad that is? It makes me sad to know this is where our society is at, a place where lying is so common that it is not only expected but that people are surprised and disbelieving when someone chooses truth and honesty instead.

You are right about one thing, my parents, when they made me, did not make a robot. They made me a decent person, one with intelligence and integrity.

[No game 14,437]

This is getting out of control guys. Seriously' date=' just stop. I didn't think asking this question would actually end in me unsubscribing from my own thread because it's getting THAT annoying.

I don't see why anyone cares what another person chooses to say... I just wanted some thoughts on good cover stories since I feel that it's not the world's business to know. I would really rather my coworkers didn't define me by my surgery.

But either way, to each their own. It's starting to sound like angry children in here. Thanks to those that actually helped me. I'm officially done with the thread though![/quote']

I am sorry this has turned out to be such a mess.

And I will apologize for my part in the pointless bickering..

On that note I am unsubscribing to this abomination also..

[Amie 90]

And what bothers me about this thread is that there are people so comfortable in dishonesty that they can not comprehend that there are people who do not lie. Can you not see how sad that is? It makes me sad to know this is where our society is at' date=' a place where lying is so common that it is not only expected but that people are surprised and disbelieving when someone chooses truth and honesty instead.

You are right about one thing, my parents, when they made me, did not make a robot. They made me a decent person, one with intelligence and integrity.[/quote']

I love all you have to say. I also try not to lie I won't even stretch the truth. If someone asks me how my day is, I let them know even if it has been horrible. In my opinion most people lie or stretch the truth to make themselves either feel better or look better. My wife knows not to ask me a question if she doesn't want an honest answer. Hell even if i tried to lie she would read it all over my face. And just for the record yes I have lied and no I'm not perfect. I just wanted to let you know there are other people that have the same view point as you.

[leeann71 539]

And what bothers me about this thread is that there are people so comfortable in dishonesty that they can not comprehend that there are people who do not lie. Can you not see how sad that is? It makes me sad to know this is where our society is at' date=' a place where lying is so common that it is not only expected but that people are surprised and disbelieving when someone chooses truth and honesty instead.

You are right about one thing, my parents, when they made me, did not make a robot. They made me a decent person, one with intelligence and integrity.[/quote']

Firat off I am a honest person but I am not gonna say that I do not lie. Even if it is a little white lie so as to not hurt someones feelings. Example: does my butt look big in thes jeans or dress and thats the only clothing that person has. Example 2: telling a child that their parents were mangled to pieces in a car accident. Would you tell a child that. There are so many other things as well. And you know what I could not and did not tell the 4 and 5 year old the truth on how their parents died in the car accident.

[leeann71 539]

I just cant and wont understand how people can come on hear and say they dont lie. No one and I mean no one is perfect! I told everyone I had the surgery. I have nothing to hide, what you see and hear from me is what you get! Im no means a perfect person even though my husband and children think I am.

[leeann71 539]

I love all you have to say. I also try not to lie I won't even stretch the truth. If someone asks me how my day is' date=' I let them know even if it has been horrible. In my opinion most people lie or stretch the truth to make themselves either feel better or look better. My wife knows not to ask me a question if she doesn't want an honest answer. Hell even if i tried to lie she would read it all over my face. And just for the record yes I have lied and no I'm not perfect. I just wanted to let you know there are other people that have the same view point as you. [/quote']

I appreciate what you just wrote. You are honest because you admit that you try not to lie.

[newat52 1,613]

It has been many years since I actively lied. I learned the consequences of lying and made a commitment to truth some time ago in a situation similar to what has been shared in this thread. When I made poor choices from misguided intentions and got myself caught in a web of deceit that span out of control. I judged myself by recognising I had done wrong, by realising I had been dishonest and then by doing the hard tasks of untangling the web of deceit I had spun and telling the truth. It taught me humility, it cost me friendships and the trust of people i respected, and, more importantly, it taught me the value of the truth.

Does that answer your question?

It does but it's a lie. I know it and you know it. In fact, it's sad but you probably believe it.

Calling major BS on that!

But this is going nowhere fast so I am out.

Sorry this went south fast. This subject always does.

Have a great weekend everyone. I am unsubscribing to this one.

[LouiseC 1,031]

Firat off I am a honest person but I am not gonna say that I do not lie. Even if it is a little white lie so as to not hurt someones feelings. Example: does my butt look big in thes jeans or dress and thats the only clothing that person has. Example 2: telling a child that their parents were mangled to pieces in a car accident. Would you tell a child that. There are so many other things as well. And you know what I could not and did not tell the 4 and 5 year old the truth on how their parents died in the car accident.

It is possible to be honest or to maintain integrity without being cruel or heartless. I would rather say nothing than lie, even if it is a lie that others would consider little or white.

I know I would rather people be honest with me and if I seek an opinion on whether my butt looks big I need to accept the answers I am given!

As for the tragic situation you describe, how truly awful and I am sorry you found yourself in such a situation. This is one of those ones where I would choose to say nothing about how they died given the ages of the kids. The information that they had died is difficult enough and there is no need to tell such a young child details that would serve no purpose to tell them. This is not lying though. Right through out this thread I have always maintained discretion as an option over lying.

[LouiseC 1,031]

It does but it's a lie. I know it and you know it. In fact' date=' it's sad but you probably believe it.

Calling major BS on that!

But this is going nowhere fast so I am out.

Sorry this went south fast. This subject always does.

Have a great weekend everyone. I am unsubscribing to this one.[/quote']

Fortunately, your opinion of me is of no consequence. I know I am honest, I do not need your validation.

[Banned member 320]

Funny enough it wasn't serious, it was silly and would never have been an issue in the first place if i had just been honest instead of worried what others would think. It was more a lie of omission, letting people believe one thing to be true when it wasn't the whole truth and just got messier and uglier with time.

And yes, I am saying that I have been actively truthful since then. Integrity is an important value to me.

So you just posted to tell us how perfect you are? Okay, got it *blah*. We get it.....you're perfect.

[LouiseC 1,031]

So you just posted to tell us how perfect you are? Okay' date=' got it *blah*[/quote']

No. And I don't understand the snarky swipes I am getting as I have been nothing but reasoned and civil in my responses.

I did not post for my own perfectness, in fact if you read what I wrote you will see I wrote I am far from perfect

So why did I post? To try and encourage people to not lie about the surgery. To show people there are options other than dishonesty and that it is possible to life a happy and fulfilled life free from dishonesty. If only you chose to do so.

I think about myself two years ago, fat and not happy with it. Trying and failing with diet and exercise again and again and again. And I imagine how it would have been if a colleague who was also overweight suddenly started dropping the weight at a startling rate. I can imagine I would ask her how she was doing it, wanting to know about whether it was an option for me. And then I think what if she lied? How would it make me feel if she said "diet and exercise" rather than shared the truth? I would have had my own sense of failure reinforced. It would have sucked. I don't want to make anyone else feel that way.

So I will continue to advocate honesty on this topic, even if it means opening myself up to the doubt and ridicule of strangers on this forum. Because maybe one person will read my perspective and chose to act with integrity as a consequence.

[Banned member 320]

No. And I don't understand the snarky swipes I am getting as I have been nothing but reasoned and civil in my responses.

I did not post for my own perfectness, in fact if you read what I wrote you will see I wrote I am far from perfect

So why did I post? To try and encourage people to not lie about the surgery. To show people there are options other than dishonesty and that it is possible to life a happy and fulfilled life free from dishonesty. If only you chose to do so.

I think about myself two years ago, fat and not happy with it. Trying and failing with diet and exercise again and again and again. And I imagine how it would have been if a colleague who was also overweight suddenly started dropping the weight at a startling rate. I can imagine I would ask her how she was doing it, wanting to know about whether it was an option for me. And then I think what if she lied? How would it make me feel if she said "diet and exercise" rather than shared the truth? I would have had my own sense of failure reinforced. It would have sucked. I don't want to make anyone else feel that way.

So I will continue to advocate honesty on this topic, even if it means opening myself up to the doubt and ridicule of strangers on this forum. Because maybe one person will read my perspective and chose to act with integrity as a consequence.

We get it! We're liars, lack integrity, and dishonest people. Did I leave anything out?

[LouiseC 1,031]

We get it! We're liars' date=' lack integrity, and dishonest people. Did I leave anything out?[/quote']

Yes, you need to add that you are also over sensitive and a bit overly dramatic on the topic. It makes me wonder if perhaps you don't question your own level of comfort about this topic? Why else would you get so overly dramatic about someone else's opinion if you did not perhaps question your own position on the topic?

Protesting too much perhaps?

It isn't too late, you can choose honesty too yanno.

This is cracking me up now. You need to chill.

[chinamama 104]

Well some of will probably be way to young to remember but a few years back 2 public people had WLS. Al Roker and Star Jones. From the outset Al said I have a problem and this is how I'm going to fix it. He was up front and honest and I know he taught ME being healthy was more important than what others thought.

On the other end we had Star Jones, who said she was dieting and exercising. No one believed her because you just don't drop weight this fast with diet and exercise alone. Finally it came out she had lied, and from what I have seen her career has been in a downward spiral ever since. Why would we trust her after that????

Personally I have always been upfront and honest about my lapband. There is only one person in my life who has made me consider withholding info this time, and that is my SIL. She did not like the fact that she was the fattest family member instead of me.

If those of you out there still don't want to say you had WLS, they are beginning to do metabolic surgery for those with metabolic diseases such as diabetes and pcos. Do some research.

Laurie