male only Always being a 'big guy'

[jslitzker 4]

Hey Guys -

Just thinking about life post-op, how I'm going to look, etc. I've always been known as a 'big guy' for as long as I can remember. Anyone else worry about not being a big guy post surgery? I know that sounds weird, because, well, that is the point of the decision to have surgery, but along with the many downsides to being a overweight there are some advantages to being a big guy. Just wondering if I'm the only one that thought of this or if anybody else thought that too?

[melissa130 135]

1I am a girl! But I am curious- what are your advantages to being a big guy? Only you know how you are gonna feel but this I know-- when you are smaller- you will love it. Any big guy or gal will tell you- the advantages of being on the slimmer side of life--> far "out -weigh" any possible pro to being big.

Keep us posted on how you feel sweetie!! Good luck!

[luckysmomma 407]

I have always been either the 'tall girl' when I was thin & or the 'big, tall girl' when I had weight on me...I think the label will stick...I am 5'10"...and the very least I want to weigh is 165, 175 would be fine with me...I am the big, tall girl & I am finally comfortable in my own skin.

Guys are lucky in many ways about such matters. I know I like a guy 6'3" or taller...and I like big guys. I did when I was 'skinny' years ago & still do now.

Just like yourself & be comfortable with yourself! Best of luck to you!

[jslitzker 4]

Thanks for the replies, both of you. Melissa, I think it's almost a bragging right for guys. You're the tough one, the strong one, and the one that can go out with the guys and eat a big meal. I know it's total opposite for girls, and in that sense guys are lucky. I honestly think I'll always have my stature, I just couldn't imagine myself any other way, but we'll see. My health is the most important thing and the driving force for doing this. I guess it's just the unknown of what to expect, and how life will change. It's exciting and scary at the same time!

[mark! 449]

With my bone density and muscle mass, my doctor told me if I got under 240 I'd look freakish at 6'1. I'm already boney at 305. If I lay wrong my hip bones kill me, and if I'm laying on something hard my ribcage hurts. I can count my ribs and collarbones are crazy out there. I take pride in knowing I'm never gonna be the skinny guy though. In my line of work, the imposing figure helps keep people from thinking they can try something on me. I am hoping though that being "skinnier" is gonna help persuade those who like to run from the law to not do so as much, haha.

[jslitzker 4]

Mark,

I think we likely share the same line of work. I guess that's what I was really referring to. On one hand (post-op), they are less likely to run, but currently I'm less likely to get into a physical altercation just based on my physique. Hoping for the best of both worlds.

[JeffA70 200]

Not being a 'big guy' was on my mind from the moment I started this process, yes. I totally get what you're saying.

I'm 6-6, and as you can see on the ticker, I peaked out at 362 (before and after shots in my profile). There was no "I'm just big-boned" about it...I was a big guy, and for a long time that was really how I identified myself, how others saw me, etc. I actually took a sense of pride in "Big Dog" shirts, etc. Men are supposed to be strong, tough, etc., right? It was part of my identity as much as being of a particular political persuasion, drinking my coffee black, the type of beer I drank, the meat I ate, and the kind of cars I drive. IT'S. WHO. YOU. ARE.

Now that I'm at (actually, below this AM...woot) my goals, 128 down, let me tell you, brother, you'll get past it. I'm still tall, so that hasn't changed, but let me tell you that I'm feeling like a stud right now, and the Big Guy is the old me. There was nothing wrong with him, other than the horrific health costs it carried, but that ain't me any more.

So it'll take some getting used to. But, at least if you're like me, you'll get used to fitting in pants you haven't worn in 20 year, you'll get used to not panting for breath climbing a hill, you'll get used to finding Mr. Happy is longer, harder and ready for more, and you'll get used to people saying every day how great you look, believe me. The adjustment has not been as difficult as I thought.

Now, for my wife...well, it's been an adjustment. I'm not the same person physically she married. Hell, I'm less than I was when we started DATING in 1991. So, it's been an adjustment. Some good, some bad.

Bottom line is, dude, we big guys are great, but not if we're dead. Take care of your body; it's the only one you get. Best of luck to you in your journey. Rock it hard, man.

[JonB 114]

I hate when total strangers address me as "Big Man". If I was 6'4", maybe I wouldn't mind. But I'm 5'6". "Big Man" is just their passive-aggressive way of calling me "Fat Boy".

[JeffA70 200]

I hate when total strangers address me as "Big Man". If I was 6'4", maybe I wouldn't mind. But I'm 5'6". "Big Man" is just their passive-aggressive way of calling me "Fat Boy".

Yes, I think height is a big part of it. Believe me, even when you're tall, that's the code too.

[aroundhky 1,174]

Same here.... I was more curious than worried I guess. But still a little worried about not being the "big guy". I had been 6'-3" and around 300 pounds for so long that I thought I might lose my identity or something. Being about a year and a half post-op now, I can say I'm not worried about it all now. First, I haven't lost all that much weight. Second, I'm still pretty strong for a 40 year old, so I think that helps my frame of mind. And third, my "johnson" is slightly longer, or more protruding from my being.....so that's good and perhaps "manlier".

[JeffA70 200]

Being about a year and a half post-op now, I can say I'm not worried about it all now. First, I haven't lost all that much weight.

If you don't mind me asking, what's the biggest challenge that far out? I'm only four months out...kind a big, scary wide-open 40+ years ahead. Do people still consider you a "big guy?"

I would argue that you haven't lost all that much weight. You've rocked it, it appears. But why do you think you haven't hit goal? Not trying to pry; just wondering.

[aroundhky 1,174]

If you don't mind me asking, what's the biggest challenge that far out? I'm only four months out...kind a big, scary wide-open 40+ years ahead. Do people still consider you a "big guy?"

I would argue that you haven't lost all that much weight. You've rocked it, it appears. But why do you think you haven't hit goal? Not trying to pry; just wondering.

Sure, no problem and thanks for the compliment. I think people still do consider me a big guy and definitely a fitter big guy than I was in the past. As for not reaching goal......there's probably several contributing factors.

First, the goal weight number itself was nothing I was really all that on board with anyway. My Dr wanted me to set a weight goal and I did. So that number is not all that motivating for me. I really had no idea what an ideal weight would be for me since I can't really judge it based on how I was 15-20 years and how far off I was from it at surgery.

Second, the main goal for me was being healthy and getting off all of my meds. Sure, getting to goal weight would be really nice, and I haven't given up on that, but the pure health aspect of it was my main priority and reason for getting the surgery in the first place. I was on the max dosage for BP meds and my BP was still 165/110 ish....very scary and not able to control with meds. My cholesterol was barely controlled with meds. I am now completely off of all medication......so that goal has long since been reached. There was also the joint and back pain problem I had, which has pretty much been eradicated. I'm much healthier now and I also feel much better, so my main goals have been reached, now I'm really just living and enjoying life.......not concentrating on goal weight. But maybe my Dr would say I should concentrate on it.

Third, the muscle/strength issue for me is very important, and I eat to make the most out of my workouts. So I'm not low carbing it like many of the Dr's suggest. I try to stay away from simple/white carbs, but I do make sure I get in plenty of complex carbs (lots of green veggies, oats, some brown rice, quinoa, etc) to go with my lean Protein to help with muscle/strength.

Last possible reason is that I've been able to eat a good bit more than most sleevers. Since about 2-3 months post-op, I'm able to eat a lot more than the Dr's said I would. I adhere to never drinking around my meals, get my Protein in first and stop a bite or two before I think I'll be full. I still eat a good bit less than I did pre-op, but no where near as little as most sleevers. Example: for the past year, I've been able to eat a whole grilled chicken breast, a cup of broccoli and maybe even a few bites of a fruit and though satisfied, still not full. For the past year, my calories run about 1500-1700 daily and I could easily be over 2000 if I wanted.

I'm guessing all of those things have played a bit of a role in my lack of weight loss, not including that I was a low BMI-er (37-38) to begin with.

"Jslitzker".........sorry to hijack your thread, so I digress.

[jslitzker 4]

You guys aren't hijacking the thread at all. I enjoyed reading the conversation. It's great to know I'm not the only one in that boat. I appreciate hearing the post-op perspective, and I agree, it will totally be worth it and it certainly doesn't have me concerned to the point that I'm contemplating not having surgery. liquid diet starts tomorrow and I'm T-minus 2 weeks.

I can certainly relate to what you're saying about it being your identity and almost a sense of pride. I'm 5'11", so I'm average height, but several that I have told I'm getting surgery were surprised I even qualified. I guess I do a good job and hiding my weight or I just carry it well, but I also think I'll still be a somewhat 'big guy' but just a lot more fit. I too am persuing this for health reasons much beyond any physical reasons. My BP is under control but am maxed out on dosage for BP meds and had to start taking a second. My resting pulse rate is >90 and sometimes over 100. I also got diagnosed with severe sleep apnea through the pre-op process and have to wear a cpap at night. At 30 years old, I'm too young for all that, and I want to do something about it before I'm old and it's either too late or I regret not doing it sooner.

Jeff, I hope everything has worked itself out with your wife. I know that's a common situation that can arise, and have had those conversations already with my wife so we expect it - and know to be aware of it and work through it. Luckily, my wife is getting sleeved two weeks after my surgery, so not only will we get to go through the life changing surgery and recovery together, I hope we get to experience the positive effects of surgery together too.

[JonnyZ 3]

I hate when total strangers address me as "Big Man". If I was 6'4"' date=' maybe I wouldn't mind. But I'm 5'6". "Big Man" is just their passive-aggressive way of calling me "Fat Boy".[/quote']

I get it, I'm 5'11" and everyone referrs refferred to me as big guy and such. When strangers did it, it would piss me off. I'm on my way to making them eat those words. Lol

[easye256 50]

Totally get where you're coming from. I am a mechanic by trade, I used to always get the "little" guys that would come over and ask me to help them move/loosen etc something, regardless if I possesed the strength to do so or not. But just asking the big dude was help enough. I've carried the nick name of "polar bear" for years, and now that I've made my decision to change, that moniker is going to have to go out the window! I'll second JohnnyZ's comment, I never cared if my friends called me big guy, but it would send my BP through the roof if a stranger did it.