Recently Banded and worried

[Penni60 45]

It is almost like I want to be a failure again. I just can't seem to get back into my groove...

Here is my take on the binging episodes. In sayng the word "WE" I include myself in this. When we were larger we almost were in a comfortable state. We didn't have to keep up appearances that we were changing our lifestyle. Now that we have made a decision to change our lifestyle we have a different kind of pressure to keep up the work.

The whole reason we were not successful in our previous attempts at losing weight and maintaining the loss was is because it was easier and safer to continue like we were. IT is hard work to maintain the loss or keep the loss. I for one see it as a struggle every day to NOT binge or revert to my old habits. I have eaten a bag of Cheetos since being banded and then immediately felt guilty and thought "Why did I get banded if I am just gonna eat like I always did?" Once I was honest with myself I was able to get past the guilt and move on with my changes.

Being large you have this feeling of being isolated and protected by that isolation to getting your feelings hurt by cruel people.

Now that we are all losing and people around us are noticing it scares the heck out of us. We no longer have that protection of our fat to hide behind. We are OUT there for the world to see and appreciate that there is a PERSON under all that fat. That scares the heck out of me at times. It means we have to interact with other people on a small scale. It also means we are more vulnerable as well.

So the binging is a way to sabotage the work we have accomplished thus far. You have the power ladies and gentlemen to change the habits. You took back the control from food when you were banded. Take it back now once again and hold those reins tight. Yeah it will buck and try to throw you off again and again, but hold on tight. The end result will be a smooth ride and a glorious one.

Ok that is my rants and ravings for the day. Take the musings and use them if they apply. If they don't then chalk it up to remnants of some good drugs from my surgery. LOL!!!

I love all you guys and we are awesome and brave to have travelled down this road.

[donali 57]

Having to change your habits to lose weight is old news. Everyone knows this.

Banded people have a tool that helps with the physcial hunger. The bingeing is HEAD hunger. It is a habit we got into to self-medicate, to help deal with all the scary stuff, and the hurtful stuff, and the angry stuff, and the boring stuff... You name it, food was the answer.

The band helps change the physical habit by making it impossible to overeat certain things.

The emotional habit takes a lot of work. You cannot just tell yourself, "I have to change my habits." You have to have REPLACEMENT habits. You have to identify the specific habit you want to change, and then you HAVE to do something else instead.

You have no right to beat up on yourself for not doing things differently if you have not identified SPECIFIC behaviours to try instead of eating. Actually, no one should ever beat up on themselves - all this stuff is hard, and takes practice. But without a plan, the chances for success are virtually nil.

Here's most of what I learned about creating an alternate plan to emotional eating, and how to put it in place.

http://lapbandtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=434

Remember - progress, not perfection. Baby steps. Be gentle with yourselves.

Peace and Love -

[DeLarla 22]

I guess I made some progress then, since I had to stop eating at lunch since my pants got too tight. In the past, I'd just have unzipped them and kept on eating. I think my band is going to pop today and shoot out of my throat and hit someone in the eye because my jeans are so tight! But hey, they fit!

[sascijo 0]

Just when I am getting real serious Lisa comes up with 'her band is coming up and going to shoot someone in the eye cause her pants are too tight" and I have to laugh. Thanks goofy.... I appreciate what Donali and Penni said. I am going to print it and re-read it. Yours too Lisa... so i can laugh... I really think that when the compliments start pouring in, I start faltering. It is like I just can't take it or something, and my hubby bitches at me and tells me I can't take a compliment for sh_t. He says just say Thank you. I sort of feel like they are lieing to me... I'm a little sicko , huh? But I am going to work on it, cause you both are right on the money. I just forgot how to use the band since it isn't stopping me very well right now. Most of the time I am like Lisa, I am not sure I have one and then ...boom, it restricts me....I have one banded friend that pretended she had the band when she didn't, cause she had to wait to get it, and lost 25 lbs waiting. I am not that good. I was totally impressed...

Well I have to go home, so I won't be on tonight probably. But i will be back tomorrow searching to see what I missed...maybe tonight...don't know...

[bushbaby 8]

Don't we all have those days. Last night I wanted to benge but I found another activity to keep me occupied. if I could do that everynight or when I wanted to benge I would 1 kill my husband from all the excercise ( he does most of the work) and 2. probalby break the pill and be pregnant! LOL

[Guest Marshmallow]

I experienced the very same thing that you are going thru. Once you get your first fill, things will change. What I did was watch what I ate - you know healthy meals, no chips, candy, pop, real ice cream and so forth. I have been a weight watcher it seems my whole life - that is the basic plan I followed. I lost 20 lbs between the day of my surgery and my fill. I was disappointed thinking I should be losing weight like crazy. My doctor said that I was average and it was okay. He only wants me losing 2 lbs a week. When I got my first fill, it still felt like I had not had surgery. I called my doctor and he told me to come in and they would add to my fill. He did that and the next day I could hardly swallow. I called him again and went in to have some taken out. Since I have done that I am feeling more confident that the program is working. I had my surgery on June 1st and my first fill was 6 weeks later. Then the next week I was on my way. I hope this helps you get thru the next 3 weeks. You can do it!!!

[DeLarla 22]

Sascy, now you're cracking me up. I'm supposed to crawl into bed after my 2nd job and pass out, but I can't resist logging on.

And you hit the nail on the head again, because I have the same brick wall holding me back from losing more. The second I start getting compliments I freak out. I mean literally freak. I asked my husband to stop noticing my weight loss because (same with all my weight loss success in the past) it's like something "clicks" when the compliments start, and I run in the other direction. Hubby says things are going to be different this time, since I have the band, but I'm at the exact same point. I'm also at another plateau and keep gaining and losing the same couple pounds. But I wore those size 22s all day and all night, then I unbuttoned them and they sprang across the room. Damn, that feels good!

That "pretending" thing doesn't work for me either. My meals are too big this week. I eat past being full. I wish I could have a fill.

[New Hope 37]

Pennie and Donali, Great pearls of wisdom!

[sascijo 0]

You know what Lisa, I find myself thinking of you when I fill my plate. Everyone wants to know what little world I live in all by myself because for no apparent reason I start laughing. and it usually is a visual you have given me of your band popping out or your "gut" flopping out of those 22's.... Your a nut!!! But everyone knows still waters run deep little chickie, and I want you to start concentrating on stopping when you feel full. Get this mind going in the right direction... I don't have mouthfuls of great wisdom, and I understand being poor about as well as the next street person, lol.. , so until you can get that port fixed, and get a fill, please try to hang on. Don't kick yourself if you don't lose. Hell you have more of a reason than anyone.... I don't. I am just spoiled as hell and want my way... WOw... that's hurts even when I say it... I PROMISE YOU, YOU WILL LOSE MORE. Yours will take a little longer because of your problem, but it will get fixed , and when it does, the weight will come off. You are going to be shocked at the difference when you actually get the right restriction. You will be going, "oh, so this is what happens, " Now I understand..... Hang in there..I am sorry you had a crappy experience, but you might just be the lucky one, because when you actually get it, you will appreciate it...

Love you and I love to read your posts. PLEASE keep being funny. you make my day.

[DeLarla 22]

The people we are today came from a lifetime of conditioning. Till this day, I cringe when I throw away food. food was scarce as a child, so we stole it and horded it. I'd huddle in a corner with as much food as I could hold in my chubby hands... like a wild animal. But the problem is wild animals do it for survival for the days when there's nothing to eat, and the natural balance of things keeps them healthy and stable throughout the year. But with me, when there's an abundance of food, I can't turn off my inner soul. I can't simply turn away from it like normal folk.

I always bring my lunch to work and make a very small portion. And I never order my own meal anymore at restaurants. Smoetimes I feel like sitting down with strangers and asking if I could have their leftovers, which would make the perfect size meal, but my husband won't let me do that, and he won't let me snatch a few bites from passing waiters' trays, either.

Now I bug everyone around me to share a meal with me instead of ordering separate, but people really don't like sharing! So last week 30 of us had a birthday party at a restaurant, and I didn't order a meal. Instead I just forked at nearby plates, and my friends are so cool about it these days. They love seeing me happy, so there were bites being passed from the other end of the room.

My problem always comes when there's an abundance of food. I don't know how to let go of those old feelings of hording it all on my plate and protecting it from the enemy.

Make any sense?

[sascijo 0]

Perfect sense Lisa. I can only speak for myself, but I do the same thing. I don't think the lap band will be able to fix it all. I have decided to see a counselor to see what this "hold" food is on me. It is all I can think about. If I am happy, I eat, sad.....I eat...pissed .......I eat. So for some reason it consoles me to eat. But it doesn't make me happy. When I was losing, I WAS HAPPY. I realize now, I want that back...slowly the love of the food is being replaced by compliments of how much better I look. Notice I said , "slowly". I also have a short memory except when food is involved and I forget easily how good the compliment felt when the smell of cooked "anything" wafts my way.... Piglet...yes I am.. but a little smaller piglet than I used to be.... Yippeee, It's lunch....

Boy, that lecture didn't last long, I am already thinking of lunch. :think

[donali 57]

Yippeee, It's lunch.... Boy, that lecture didn't last long, I am already thinking of lunch.< /div>

ROTFLMAO!!

It sounds good when we write it down though...

[DeLarla 22]

I had an amazing counselor that I adored, but I can't afford him. Even though I have dual insurance, the freaks on my provider list can't help me.

But the guy I was seeing is actually a hypnotherapist. I never actually "went under" hypnosis, however, he always made me feel amazing when I left his office at $75.00 a session.

If I were Susan Lucci (sp?) I'd buy him a house next door.

[DeLarla 22]

Hey, who planted the lunch idea in my head? It's only 10:00 a.m. here. And Donali, aren't we on the same time zone? It is NOT lunch yet, Missy!

[donali 57]

Terry says it is, so there. ***phbbbbbbpp!!***