alisonsim 10 Posted May 1, 2013 Especially the people at work who I didnt tell I was having surgery. I feel embarrased when they mention how much weight I lost. Then they follow it with how much did you lose? I dont want to tell them. I dont mind telling the few friends and family how much I lost. I still feel embarrased when they call me skinny or you look good. I have so much more to lose. I am FAR from skinny! 1 Beverly P reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andi 78 Posted May 1, 2013 If you're uncomfortable, just keep it vague. It should give them the hint that you do not wish to share the number. I've met some people that pulled that off very tactfully & I had no problem respecting it. There's going to be some that don't take the hint, for them you might just need to spell it out that you do not wish to discuss #'s & thank them for the compliment. 1 NewSetOfCurves reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NewSetOfCurves 1,553 Posted May 1, 2013 I agree with Andi. With a pleasant smile, vaguely say, "I have lost numerous pounds and I am feeling great. Thank you." If they continue to pester you with the number question, say, "I appreciate your interest in my well being, but I would rather keep that private. Thank you, though, for noticing." Continue your pleasant smile and tone, then walk away with a wave goodbye. lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tb21872 31 Posted May 1, 2013 I know how you feel! I have lost 70lbs and people tell me how great I look. I don't mind sharing how, I'm not ashamed of regaining control of my life, but I am embarrased that I have lost 70lbs and still have 60 to go. Ugh. Hate that I let my weight get that out of control but proud and happy to be regaining control of it! 1 MrsG reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
newat52 1,613 Posted May 1, 2013 When people as me how much have you lost, I tell "a good amount" or not quite as much as I had hoped but still working on it. Thanks for noticing. If they persist, I just tell them I am not focusing on the numbers but other factors. They usually get it by then. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kenni 39 Posted May 1, 2013 I know how you feel exactly the way you feel what I do is when people tell me the number that I lost like 25 or 50 pounds i agree with them. if anybody asks me I just tell them its only been 50 pounds but in reality I lost 130 but I just don't be telling everybody how much I lost I just got them guess and I just agree with their number Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
delta_girl 931 Posted May 1, 2013 None of their business, period. You have no obligation to tell them. They are not entitled to know anything that you do not want to share. DO NOT feel pressured or bullied into saying anything you don't want to. As I have said here SO many times before, it is not deception, it is privacy, which is your right. I even had someone ask me about two weeks ago if I was sick with some deadly disease. I wasn't wearing makeup that day, so I must have been looking especially rough. I only tell those that I want to tell and when I want to tell them. My life and choices belong to me and nobody else. 1 newat52 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whitneyb 1 Posted May 1, 2013 Im still pre op so i haven't experiened and dramatic weight loss but when i do and i get those types of questions i think i would make a joke out of it. Reply with somthing real sarcastic like " what are you talking about i haven't lost any weight" Then just walk away leaving them looking stupid. It worked for me when i quit my job to have my baby and went back to work a year later 80 pounds heavier. Everyone wanted to know how i could gain that much weight that fast. I would tell them things like oh no i haven't gained any weight my doctor said its just Water. After a while they stopped asking because i wouldn't give them the response they wanted. As adults i think people should know what kinds if questions to ask and when its appropriate. And if they dont know i dont dignify their question with a answer. 1 NewSetOfCurves reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NewSetOfCurves 1,553 Posted May 1, 2013 Im still pre op so i haven't experiened and dramatic weight loss but when i do and i get those types of questions i think i would make a joke out of it. Reply with somthing real sarcastic like " what are you talking about i haven't lost any weight" Then just walk away leaving them looking stupid. It worked for me when i quit my job to have my baby and went back to work a year later 80 pounds heavier. Everyone wanted to know how i could gain that much weight that fast. I would tell them things like oh no i haven't gained any weight my doctor said its just Water. After a while they stopped asking because i wouldn't give them the response they wanted. As adults i think people should know what kinds if questions to ask and when its appropriate. And if they dont know i dont dignify their question with a answer. I gained the same amount of weight after my first child and I did not leave my house for a year, because people would literally gasp when they saw me, asking, "Is that you? What happened?" It was very depressing. It took me a few years to feel comfortable in my skin again, and several more before I gained confidence and felt beautiful again. Some people are just crass and have no idea--or don't give a crap--about boundaries. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganChic 3,262 Posted May 1, 2013 People are certainly nosy, and they seem to feel it's their right to know, don't they? It is NOT their right to anyone's personal information, and I don't feel obligated to give it to them. Like another poster said, I've lost 70 pounds and I hate that I have so much more to go. When people ask me how much, I just laugh and say "not enough", and change the subject. Mostly I think they are just curious and there is no malice at all, but it's personal. They also want to know how I did it, and I just say eat less, move more. Some people want to know the magic I'm using, which I understand, because they want to lose weight, too. I always wanted to know if someone had a great tip for me, and as we all know, it comes down to eat less and move more, lol. 1 MrsG reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buplee 556 Posted May 1, 2013 I tell people who don't know about my surgery, that I have done it through Portion Control and getting more exercise which is mostly true. People are nosey and in some case, so much that it is uncomfortable and intrusive. No one has a right to know more than you want them to know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
delta_girl 931 Posted May 1, 2013 I remember an old response shared by Ann Landers when it comes to nosey questions. Whenever you are asked one, just reply, "Why do you ask?" It usually throws people off so much that they realize it was an impolite question. 3 eLinor, MrsG and NewSetOfCurves reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
newat52 1,613 Posted May 1, 2013 None of their business, period. You have no obligation to tell them. They are not entitled to know anything that you do not want to share. DO NOT feel pressured or bullied into saying anything you don't want to. As I have said here SO many times before, it is not deception, it is privacy, which is your right. I even had someone ask me about two weeks ago if I was sick with some deadly disease. I wasn't wearing makeup that day, so I must have been looking especially rough. I only tell those that I want to tell and when I want to tell them. My life and choices belong to me and nobody else. Amen!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites