How will this be different?

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

As you can probably tell by how long I’ve been a member here, I’ve been considering VSG for a long time. My husband has never exactly been on-board with it; he’s naturally very thin, and can eat whatever he wants without gaining any substantial weight. Since he’s never really been willing to hear me out on VSG, I’ve tried everything else under the sun to try and get my weight under control. In 2011 I did Medifast. Over the year, I managed to lose 100 pounds. Over the next year and a half, I managed to gain back every last pound.

I talked to my husband last night again about VSG, and he was not terribly supportive of the idea (as usual). He doesn’t like the idea of me having surgery, and he is also of the opinion this is somehow taking the easy way out and I should be able to just do this on my own. He feels like I “quit” on Medifast, and that we wasted money because I gained it all back. I tried to explain to him that it’s not losing weight that’s the problem…it’s keeping it off. I’ve tried and tried, and I *can’t* stay a normal weight. I am just not able.

I’m not a snacker, and I don’t eat a bunch of junk food. I’m a vegetarian (15 years), don’t have high cholesterol, etc. My problem is the speed and quantity at which I eat. If my husband and I are having pizza, I will be on my 4^th slice by the time he’s finishing his first. I literally inhale my food. I don’t chew, I don’t wait for it to cool, and I eat so quickly and so voluminously that I feel ill. I’ve tried to consciously slow down, but even my “slow” is fast to most people. And I don’t know the meaning of the word “full.”

Through all my research, it seems like VSG would be the best option for me because it would force me to slow down (lest I get sick!), and I physically won’t be able to hold as much food. I know you can “eat around” the sleeve, but like I said I’m not a big snacker or junk food eater so I don’t worry about that so much. I feel like the sleeve would be a good tool to help me control my portions and give me that sense of when to stop that I’m *supposed* to have.

Since my husband feels like I “quit” at Medifast, he thinks I’m going to “quit” on the sleeve. He thinks I’ll just gain it all back, and we’ll have “wasted” all that money. I know he wants to be supportive and he wants me to have something that works, but he just doesn’t know what it’s like to have a problem with food. It’s impossible to understand if you haven’t been there. But he raises a good point, and one I feel is fair to ask—how IS this different from Medifast or anything else I’ve tried? Will it just end up being another “waste of money”? How will this help me succeed where other plans haven’t?

Please, any insight you can provide would be so appreciated. I just want to be healthy again.

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

I can relate to so many things you wrote about. I wasn't a big snacker either. Portion size for sure was my enemy. I had a big appetite. I grew up in a family where we cleaned the plate. I tried weight watcher, lost over 100lbs. 14 years ago and slowly gained it all back and then some. I tried Nutri-system, Atkins etc... The losing was never the only issue. Keeping it off was key. I grew tired of the Nutri-system foods after a few months. Weight watchers was the only thing that helped me ever, and even then, I felt hungry and ultimately went off the plan.

With the sleeve, I still have to put in the work, make the right choices but the hunger issue is not a factor (so far). I am fully satisfied after about 4oz. There are some foods I am choosing not to indulge in now, but I know that I could if I wanted to. I want to get the most out of the "honeymoon" period after surgery and lose as much as I can. Overall, I know that overeating shouldn't be an issue due to the restriction. Sticking to any "diet" short term is doable, for me it was never sustainable. I don't fool myself, I know temptation is there. I know that I can slip and make bad choices. But I also have this amazing support system here at VST and we are all in the same boat.

Ultimately, there is no guarantee, it is up to me. But at least now I feel like I am armed with a great too and believe I have a fighting chance to keep the weight off.

Good luck!

[Ballermom 803]

First it is great that you are deciding to get the VSG done. But the VSG is not a diet to be compared to medifast. It's a tool and a Lifestyle change. With the lost of a large portion of your stomach you cant just switch back to eating the same foods over night like you can with quick diets, as In yo-yo dieting. Which is what brought many of us to this point. The good news is that with this new tool. Some people even loose their craving and appetite for those unhealthy foods at times. It takes very little to fill you up. So goals are obtainable. Many diets are high in sugary anyhow. This is not a temporary fix but one that can make you proud and Happy alone the way. It's all about a better you.

Almost 8 weeks out down 40 lbs. I love my sleeve.

[FeeIsMe2 508]

I too had lost over 100 lbs on Weight Watcher, and gained it back, I then lost over 100lbs with a personal trainer and diet but again I gained it all back.

I never had an issue with losing, it was maintaining the weight loss that had me stumped!

With the sleeve, I don't have the constant hunger and the constant thoughts of food. I now have an "Off Switch" that I never had. I eat mostly Protein and I avoid carbs for now (at least until I reach my goal, plus they are my downfall).

Yes, I do have to fight head hunger but, I can now have Portion Control and no longer suffer with constant hunger. The sleeve works, when you work with it!

Good Luck, remember this is for you ~ not your husband.

[TES 858]

I definitely think that VSG would be a great tool for you. Maybe if your husband watched some of the YouTube videos, it would help him understand it more? Could you practice eating slowly now? Don't wait until you are ravenous--that will help.

[SqueakyWheel&Ethyl 160]

I ate way too fast and could slam high volumes before I felt it, too. Only I DID make poor choices, too. After WLS, my body talks to me much more than ever (I call her Ethyl) and she tells me things like, "OK, just take two swallows... Now wait. Yeah, feel that in the middle of your sternum? That's saying thanks for not taking three swallows. ... Now, take another bite..... Lets wait about five minutes.... Ok, you can have another bite now...." When you give that "voice" it's own personality, it makes the experience even funnier.

If your husband is so concerned about you having surgery, maybe he should be more concerned about the dangers of see-saw weight loss. People (like us) who go up and down a lot with our weight are at much higher risk of stroke than people who maintain morbid obesity. Luther Vandross is a good example. My husband is rail-thin and never has a weight problem either. But, he has studied my health conditions enough to have compassion and support for this decision. I'd tell your husband that undergoing surgery and giving up an entire lifetime of eating like he does is NOT an easy way out and he will see that himself. It will be the BEST gift you give yourself. Good luck.

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

The main reason I have to involve my husband in this decision is because I'll be self-pay. If my insurance paid for it, I'd be doing it whether he liked it or not. But it requires a bit more spousal cooperation when I'm asking to use $10k that we really don't have

He was saying to me yesterday things like "What if something horrible happens? What if you die on the table?" My response was, "If I stay the way I am, there is a 100% chance something horrible will happen and I will die." It's not cosmetic for me. I can deal with how I look, but I can't deal with the way I constantly hurt, the way I have no energy to do anything, the way I sweat like a piglet, etc.

[TES 858]

Have you thought of private paying for health insurance that covers VSG before you actually get it? Paying the monthly premiums for a while might be less expensive than paying the whole thing out of pocket? Don't want to be too nosy--not sure if you don't have health insurance or if you have it and VSG is excluded--but there may be some creative solutions. PPACA could end up helping too, especially with health insurance exchanges allowing more employee choice in choosing a health plan.

[SqueakyWheel&Ethyl 160]

And, you need his emotional support. THANK GOD we have the sleeve option. Diets FAIL US. We don't fail them. Sleeve doesn't fail. I hope he becomes more emotionally supportive for you. I bet he will. He will sure be proud of you as he sees it working!

[Shrinkingmom 218]

I felt like your husband for years! My brother had bypass 10 years ago because he was going to die if he didn't. I fooled myself and kept saying that I could do it the "right way" and did..... over and over and over. I dieted myself right up to 321 pounds! A friend ask me to go to the "seminar" that my surgeon gives every month and I took my husband with me. He finally made me understand that willpower had nothing to do with it and there were a lot of different factors, including genetics. He said we would diet ourselves right up to 500 pounds if we continued doing what we were doing. (which was lose 100, gain 110, lose 50, gain 70, lose 25, gain 45.) It finally clicked with me and my husband. When we left there, he was truly excited and we both knew that this was not "the easy way out" but a new life for me! It was a Godsend!! It definately is not easy but with this tool, I feel like I finally have control over food instead of the other way around!! It gives me the ability to stop eating, even though sometimes I don't want to, I have to. It also has taken away the hunger. I still deal with the boredom, head hunger but even that is doable because I can't binge like I use to. There are soooooooo many pluses and I wish I had done this years ago! It has changed my life and my husband is so pleased and proud of how I feel and act. I have so much energy and now he tells me how worried he was before with my health. I am off all medications now, no B/P problems, no depression, no borderline diabetes!!!! There are lots of pluses. I would encourage you to find a seminar and involve your husband so he can be educated on this subject. This is not another diet and you can't treat it like one. I wish you the best of luck!!

[TES 858]

Hathery, you should show your husband ShrinkingMom's post. Maybe your husband would go to an intro seminar with you.

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

Have you thought of private paying for health insurance that covers VSG before you actually get it? Paying the monthly premiums for a while might be less expensive than paying the whole thing out of pocket? Don't want to be too nosy--not sure if you don't have health insurance or if you have it and VSG is excluded--but there may be some creative solutions. PPACA could end up helping too, especially with health insurance exchanges allowing more employee choice in choosing a health plan.

I didn't think I'd be able to get another insurance because of pre-existing conditions (migraines, high blood pressure, depression, bla bla bla). I have really good insurance, but unfortunately WLS is an exclusion. What is PPACA? (n/m just looked this up! ObamaCare! Forgot it had a real name. hehe)

[TES 858]

Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act--basically Healthcare Reform. Does your insurance have a blanket exclusion for all WLS?

[No game 14,437]

Have you gone to your consult yet?

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act--basically Healthcare Reform. Does your insurance have a blanket exclusion for all WLS?

Yep. It's a 100% exclusion, regardless of medical necessity. Pretty stupid considering how much less they'd end up paying overall if I got rid of my comorbidities!