Acceptable??

[josygirl 0]

I am really stuggling. I was banded Sept 04. I have reached my goal. I started at 282 pounds and have reached 148 pounds. But the last few pounds have been reached by severely restricting my food intake. Some(my doctors) would even say anorexia. I have a latte for breakfeast. Then diet coke during the day, sometimes a carrot. Then I only eat a meal at night every third day or so when I am with company (I live alone). I just want to be an acceptable size in society. My bmi is 24 and I have been getting compliments from friends and family. I am confused because my Dr is hitting the roof and saying I have to eat. But I just want to meet someone who will accept me. I will have to have cosmetic surgery before that will happen and they always want you to be at goal weight for that.

I have had two Drs this week tell me I have to start eating. But I don't want to put on weight. I like that I can feel my collar bones. They tell me the reason I am feeling depressed and confused is because I am not eating. I don't know what to do.

I am scared if I start eating I won't stop.

Josy

[tonya66 13]

My, your in a tough spot, and I feel what you are saying.

First of all, congratulations on losing an incredable amount of weight, you have done so great with your weight loss!

Now, if you are feeling weak, and depressed, you need to eat more. I'm sorry, but that is the simple truth.

Now, to maintain the weight, have you been exercising? Perhaps eating more and adding exercise will help you mantaining your weight.

I'm sure you look absolutely wonderful, but I know you want to feel as good as you look, so you need to have some substance in your food, good quality food. Add some strength training and aerobics. Give it 12 weeks of eating right and exercising and see the difference in the way you feel.

[Melissa Lea 1]

Josy --

If you want cosmetic surgery you better start to eat. No surgeron in their right mind will operate on someone malnourished. They will look at your labs (serium albumin, lytes, Iron etc.). If any or all are out of wack you will not have your procedure done.

Maybe this will motivate you to eat a bit more. I am not encouraging you to gain weight. But you do need a more well-balanced diet for optimal health and nutrition status as you gear up for procedures.

My 2 cents!

Melissa Lea

[flabuless 18]

Please, Please, Please josygirl...look after yourself and eat... The negative impacts of living an borderline anorexic lifestyle is huge...you have done so well...dont waste it...live life now...Eat regularly/healthily, Exercise to balance your intake... keep us posted.

[derbygirl 0]

Maybe your goals aren't realistic.

And have you visited a cosmetic surgeon who said you needed to lose more? Or is this just you saying you need to get to a certain weight?

Because I think if you pay them the money, they will probably give you whatever you want.

If you don't start eating more, there will be consequences.

[Wheetsin 714]

I just want to meet someone who will accept me. I will have to have cosmetic surgery before that will happen

Forgive me for saying it like it is, but if you have to have cosmetic surgery for someone to accept you, that's the exact opposite of them accepting you. Does that make sense?

You need to eat. Eating moderate meals is not going to cause you to gain weight.

Can I recommend seeking a counselor or therapist?

[kwhenrykerr 0]

Baby, size is only an issue to a stupid male. When I met my girl for life I could not stand her. It was nessassary to work with her to get what I wanted. She was HUGE 400+ lb 5'2" LOUD, Latin, male basher. I wanted her help with my students and she controled the student aid. Boy was I STUPID in my views of her. She is the best person in the world. After a couple of years she was able to have WLS and it has not changed the person inside. Keep doing what you do in life and one day Mr. STUPID will come your way.

[ReneBean 3]

And keep in mind that all that excess skin has weight. It could be about 10 lbs. So, what is your goal weight?

What size clothes do you wear?

Seriously - good nutrition requires food. It is not optional.

Hugs! Go eat some Protein.

[josygirl 0]

Thanks so much for all of the responses. My labs are fine. My Dr said there is no test for wellness She really gave me a stern talking too! Probably what I needed. I was using the blood tests as my guide that nothing was wrong.

I am so scared because I have no in between. If I dont restrict I am scared I will binge on food and gain weight. I dont know how to eat in moderation.

I don't want to have cosmetic surgery because I see it as vanity, without it noone will ever accept me. I am torn.

Josy

[josygirl 0]

I don't want cosmetic surgery to be beautiful, just to be acceptable. I think there is a big difference. I would like to get it done over the winter (Australia - June 07) I am 41 and have never been in a long term relationship. Have lost weight before with weight watchers. But have always regained so I am petrified I will regain with the band too. I just want someone to accept me. The excess skin would turn anyone off. I look OK with clothes on. But need my arms and legs done.

Josy

[derbygirl 0]

Josy,

I understand. Go for it. It's not vanity in your situation. Vanity is having your eyes lifted 1/20th of a centimeter or something ridiculous like that.

[MerryHearted 20]

Hi Josy, I'd really recommend chatting with a counselor to talk about your fears in gaining weight. You might also want to meet with a good dietician or nutritionist and have them help you put together a healthy eating plan that will keep you at goal. If you are exercising regularly to keep your metabolism humming along, you should be able to eat a 1200 cal/day balanced diet and not be gaining weight.

[josygirl 0]

I do see a counselor - she is telling me I have to eat. Basically my Dr and counsellor are telling me that my depression/teariness/lack of concentration/ all come down to my not eating. I have had a lot of stress to deal with over the last two months. I don't like it all being attributed to my not eating. I feel that they are minimising the stress that I am under.

I am scared to start eating. I don't want to lose what I have achieved in terms of weight loss. People have been giving me compliments. I feel normal, I am a normal BMI. I have a right to be a normal size. They can't take that away from me.

Josy

[ReneBean 3]

I don't think that they are trying to minimize the stress - so much as they are trying to tell you that your stress is more devastating and more damaging to you because your body does not have the correct nutrition tools to do what it needs to combat the stress. Your body is a finely tuned machine... and like all machines it needs fuel to run properly.

Low blood sugar does godawful things to you... I think all they are trying to do is let you know that proper nutrition will help you combat stress - both physically and emotionally. Give your body the fuel it needs, and you may be less crushed, less teary and less tired - even with the stress you are under.

I am with you on the surgery. My arms, legs and belly will never be "normal" without PS. But you really need to eat good food.

You can eat lean meats and vegetables - 1000 - 1200 calories a day should not make you gain weight under any circumstances. Unless you lie down and cease to move at all for the next month.

Try not to panic if you have normal fluctuations in weight from Water retention. My weight varies by 2-3 pounds a day - back and forth - depending on how much Water I am drinking and the saltiness of the foods I am eating...

Please, Please, Please - go eat some stir fry or something. If nothing else - drink some Protein shakes fortified with Vitamins.

Hugs.

[wish412 0]

Josy, I have been thinking about you situation, and I have a mental picture of someone trying to fix a flat tire with their bare hands, while a lug wrench is laying there right beside them. You got the band for an aid to help control your food, now you have assumed it cannot help you, even though it helped you reach your goal weight. If you let it help you control your portions as designed, you should be able to maintain a perfectly HEALTHY, NORMAL weight for your height. I have always been a big fan of plastic surgery as it is needed, but I also know it takes a lot out of you physically, so you had better be up for the challenge ahead when you have it. It takes a strong healthy body to get the best results from plastic surgery. Get healthy, and get gorgeous!!!!Noone will be able to see how good you look if you have to stay in the house in the bed all the time........Living after all is an ACTION VERB!!!!