My confession. I fell of the wagon

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

Wow, do I really not want to admit this. But, I did it, I had a relapse.

For a few weeks I was eating candy and ice cream on a daily basis. Somewhere in the area of 2000 calories a day worth of candy bars & ice cream. That's plus my salads and Proteins.

I'm really ashamed of myself, not because I had relapse, that's just part of life for an addict. We are really good at justifying our addictions and tripping ourselves up. My shame comes from the fact that I let my pride get I the way of my recovery. I should have come here and told my sleeve family when I realized it was a problem. I knew it was a problem less than 1 week into it, but I couldn't bring myself to admitting it to you.

About a week ago I got on the scale & had gained back 7-8lbs. I was so disappointed in myself. I am back on a very strict diet, let me assure you getting back on track is much harder when you don't have a fresh staple line to scare you into following the rules.

The total disgust I felt looking at that number on he scale was enough to put me back on the straight and narrow.

But let me tell you from experience, stay mindful of what you eat. There have always been 2 schools of thought on eating post VSG, the "what's best" & the "what's acceptable". This experience has assured me even more the I belong in the "what's best" crowd. I really need to focus on my health because "acceptable" for me quickly turns into overindulgence.

I feel I need to apologize to you, my sleeve family for not being open about this when it happened.

[haragl 26]

Hey it happens to all of us. No need to apologize. It's so easy to slip back into old patterns because for us that was our "normal". You know what you did that you shouldn't have done and you know what you need to do so DO IT! We all need to cut ourselves some slack sometimes. It's hard to be good all the time and we are in this for the long haul. Good luck and stay the course. If you slip then just grab hold of yourself and get back on track. Take Care.

[No game 14,437]

OTR,

Let me first say I think you are doing awesome through this tough "journey".

I know there are a lot of us having the same struggles with food and our addictions to it.

I have really been trying to be more honest and open here and in "real" life. I'm glad that you feel safe enough at this point to talk about it.

We are here after all to help each other.

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,146]

Wow' date=' do I really not want to admit this. But, I did it, I had a relapse.

For a few weeks I was eating candy and ice cream on a daily basis. Somewhere in the area of 2000 calories a day worth of candy bars & ice cream. That's plus my salads and Proteins.

I'm really ashamed of myself, not because I had relapse, that's just part of life for an addict. We are really good at justifying our addictions and tripping ourselves up. My shame comes from the fact that I let my pride get I the way of my recovery. I should have come here and told my sleeve family when I realized it was a problem. I knew it was a problem less than 1 week into it, but I couldn't bring myself to admitting it to you.

About a week ago I got on the scale & had gained back 7-8lbs. I was so disappointed in myself. I am back on a very strict diet, let me assure you getting back on track is much harder when you don't have a fresh staple line to scare you into following the rules.

The total disgust I felt looking at that number on he scale was enough to put me back on the straight and narrow.

But let me tell you from experience, stay mindful of what you eat. There have always been 2 schools of thought on eating post VSG, the "what's best" & the "what's acceptable". This experience has assured me even more the I belong in the "what's best" crowd. I really need to focus on my health because "acceptable" for me quickly turns into overindulgence.

I feel I need to apologize to you, my sleeve family for not being open about this when it happened.[/quote']

The best things we food addicts can do is own it and correct it. Congrats to you for doing both. I wish you strength in getting back on track.

[mokee 588]

I had a really bad day yesterday. chips Cookies Snacks 1600 cal worth. Felt bad today but on I go today and hopefully will be better. Best of luck to you.

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

Thank you so much for sharing. It takes courage to put it out there that we are struggling. No matter how big a rockstar you are, you are human. :-) Your post reminds all of us food addicts that it is a long-term and on going process. The sleeve is a tool, but we are accountable. Thanks again, and always remember, we are here for you - just as you have been for so many of us.

[vsginnj 415]

My name is mike i'm an anythingthatfeelsgoodaholic , Welcome back OTR ,90 meetings in 90 days, get a sponsor and a home group....thanks for sharing!!!

[Nicolanz 1,484]

I did the same thing during Easter. We jad chocolate for days! Let go of the shame and be proud of yourself for taking control!

[Nicolanz 1,484]

I did the same thing during Easter. We jad chocolate for days! Let go of the shame and be proud of yourself for taking control!

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

Thank you everybody. It does feel better to come clean. And to know so many people have my back.

[M2G 1,836]

Well, I wish I could say that I'm not in that club with you but I am. I have fallen off the wagon (and I can sit here and say BUT it took me 9 months to put on 15-19lbs...) but the fact remains that this IS a tool and it is only helpful when we decide to use it.

I wish I have never let ANY weight come back on as it is a S L O W ride taking it back off. So while I can appreciate and share in your disappointment and frustration I also have chosen to move on. It doesn't make me any less of a success, it just makes me human, AND it makes me appreciate where I've been and where I'm going more.

I'm 2.5 years post-op and I *still* need support for this never-ending journey. One foot in front of the other: one day at a time, one meal at a time and one bite at a time.

[mom2five 292]

OTR, I've looked up to you ever since I first started coming to this board. I totally respect your confession. We all fall off the wagon occasionally. I am only 13 weeks out, and my biggest fear is that I will lose all my weight and then have a relapse and gain it all back. You are setting an awesome example by coming here and admitting you backslid and showing us that you are getting back on track. I hope that I will be able to follow your example if/when my time comes.

This is your journey... and we all learn from our journeys. During the process, we learn to change our thoughts about food. I've heard that the mental changes are quite a bit harder to make than the physical changes. It is a process for all of us. I know you will get back on track and be stronger than ever. :-)

[Ernestine 13]

The good thing is that your back on track!!

[TES 858]

Good for you for stopping the situation in its tracks and getting back on the good health wagon. Wishing you all the best!

[kari61 128]

Glad you were able to get back on track, your gonna do great..thanks for sharing.