unexpected doubt - NSV

[makemyownluck 785]

I just had my "first 50lbs lost" celebration Saturday. The celebration consisted of weighing myself about 20 times to verify my scale was working and then doing a happy dance. *gasp* I celebrated something without food! It's true, it IS possible! A SV and a NSV all at once!

Well, I started feeling really lightheaded over the past few days and it was concerning me because it was to the point that I thought I might fall over or pass out if this kept progressing. I called my MD and made an appointment for this afternoon. My bp was only 100/60! Six months ago it was 168/94. My doctor told me to stop taking my HTN med!

HOORAY!! I'M MEDICATION-FREE!!!

I was talking to the nurse who was surprised that I've lost 50lbs pre-op. She was asking me what kind of diet they had me on and how I was feeling about it. I told her I felt hungry all the time, but it wasn't unbearable. She told me she didn't want to discourage me, but that I had a rough few weeks ahead of me... but also that she was really excited for me and can't wait to see the results.

I'm really just so proud of myself that all my hard work has paid off to better health already. But it also gets me wondering if I should be having surgery, why see how far I can get on my own... unlike a lot of people, I haven't had the yo-yo thing my whole life. What if in preparing myself for surgery, I was able to learn enough to make better choices and live a healthier life without surgery?

And then I wondered if the reason I don't want people knowing I had surgery might have a LITTLE to do with my own shame over my weight and my lack of control. Yes, I'll be happy to lose weight - but wouldn't I be just a little prouder if I knew I did it without surgery? Maybe. But I'll be proud of myself for losing the weight in any event, so why should it matter how I get there?

I don't wanna feel like "I've come to far to back out now" but I really didn't start having doubts until today, when I realized that I could effect change in my body, all by myself... The doubt isn't so great that I'm going to postpone surgery, but it's definitely got me thinking...

Did anyone have or had similar thoughts/questions? Surgery is 9 days short away...

[mokee 588]

If you are not totally sure postpone the surgery. There is no going back after your stomach is cut out. You have to be very sure.

[tiffany1521 96]

First and foremost congrats on losing 50lbs and getting off your meds! i'm sure you're elated at such a great and personal accomplishment. My surgery is the day after yours and i've got to tell you, every second thought you had came to my mind along with thoughts like " am i going to die", "i've bee so lazy about losing weight that i've resorted to WLS" and the big one " what if i fail at this like i had for everything else weight loss related". Let me tell you after praying about it and seeing that more good than bad can come from this i started to release some of those thoughts from my brain and i feel 100% better about what i'm doing. When i think about how i want to be able to go to the beach and be comfortable in a bathing suit, or, being able to fit into cute non-plus size clothing and many many more things, i KNOW that this is worth it and it will be great.

I cant control your thoughts but know that you aren't alone and me as well as most people on here have felt the very same way. Stay positive! i'll be keeping you in my thoughts as we embark on this journey.

[tiffany1521 96]

As @mokee said you have to be 100% sure that this is right for you. Once you feel at peace with everything that's when you'll know you are completely ready to go through the surgery.

[makemyownluck 785]

Thank you and congrats on having your date set!! I'm definitely trying to focus on the positive and keep my eye on the prize. The fact is that I'm freaking starving and the only reason I'm sticking to my diet is because I have this goal in mind. If I cancelled tomorrow, I'd be back to my old eating habits in no time!

I need to remember why I'm doing this. To better my health and my life! My sleeve is already working for me and I haven't even gotten it yet - I've gotten this far because I've been preparing for the new me.

I think the doubt is cuz I'm nervous, and that's natural in this situation..

[ShrinkingBiker 121]

The thing you need to look at is the diet you have been on.. Is it just a healthy eating plan, or is it something that might not be that healthy in the long run.. I am not going to tell you to ask your surgeon, but maybe talk to your primary care doc to see if that diet is something that is healthy for long term (years not weeks or months)

If it is, and you feel it is something you can do for the long haul you should do that over surgery.. If it's not healthy, and you feel you can get a good diet plan in order that will maintain loss and make you feel fulfilled and not cause you to backslide after a while, then I would do that before resorting to getting cut..

I would do some serious soul searching and be honest with yourself, maybe talk to someone who knows you well and you feel would be honest with you about it. I'd always advocate doing it yourself first, but for many of us, it just wasn't worked out.

Best of luck in your journey no matter what you decide.

[tigerbelle 328]

I pretty much echo what shrinkingbiker said...I am assuming you are in your 30s from the social group you belong to here on the boards...you said you never had the yo-yo thing, so I am assuming again that you haven't tried diets in the past...for me, the choice for WLS was sort of a last resort, although I know that isn't the same for everyone...in some ways, I wish I had done it sooner, because perhaps I wouldn't have suffered some of the complications I have from diabetes...I did lose a significant amount of weight in my late 20s by instituting an exercise regimen and healthy eating plan, but during my 30s I gained it all back and then some...then at 40, I was diagnosed with diabetes, and the struggle to lose weight has been ongoing...leading me to my current decision to have WLS

only you know your own history and expectations, and I would never try to give you advice other than to be as sure as you can before having the surgery and also do some soul-searching as suggested by others...all of the best to you

[luckysmomma 407]

Congrats on your weight loss! If you have any doubts, don't do the surgery. Nerves just before is normal, but if you have true doubts about wls - please don't do it. There's no going back. If you have lost 50, you can lose 50 more or whatever your goal is to lose...just take it one meal at a time, one day at a time. You can do it!!! Best of luck to you on whatever you decide.

[ccbarrick 8]

Congrats!! It's a huge accomplishment to be able to lose so much weight on your own. I have to lose 10% of my weight before my surgeon will even submit paper work to my insurance. I'm freaking out a little bit plus I'm impatient!

I know that if you set your mind ( our minds are a powerful thing) and your 100% dedicated you can do it on your own. Me personal I've struggled for the last 8 years the most I've ever lost on my own in about 20 lbs. If I were you I would talk to your surgeon and nutritionist and see what they think!!

If you don't mind could you share how you lost your weight? Maybe it can help me get to my goal so I can start my WLS journey!!

[makemyownluck 785]

If you don't mind could you share how you lost your weight? Maybe it can help me get to my goal so I can start my WLS journey!!

I did low carb, high Protein diet for months. Started eating greek yogurt for Breakfast and at lunch with a small salad. I made homemade Soups on the weekend to have during the week for dinner, broth-based with lots of veggies, nothing with cream. Kept it light, but still satisfying. This worked out really well for me because it was winter time, too. IDK how much I'd love it eating Soup like that all summer... I'm not vegetarian, but I did start having Morningstar sausages for Breakfast on the weekends, and I really recommend the brand Gardein. They have really good breaded items that are somehow low in carbs. They are really good and satisfy a crunchy, breaded craving.

I also incorporated healthier Snacks like almonds, cheese sticks and Veggie chips. I didn't count anything but carbs. I tried to stay under 90 for the day, and it was pretty easy to do. NO processed food, no bread (except the occasional whole grain toast when out to breakfast), no Pasta. No Desserts, no soda, limit those indulgences.

I allowed one meal a week to have anything I wanted or really craved. I did this for months and definitely gave in a few more times that I should have around Christmas, but all in all, I stuck with it pretty well.

I could have lost a lot more if I'd gone to the gym, but I went AT BEST once a week, and that's an average of weeks of going 4-5 times a week and weeks not going at all... it's still something I'm working on! Seems when it comes to working out for me, I either GO HARD or stay home - literally!

Good luck to you!

[makemyownluck 785]

I gotta say, I'm surprised I got so much "DON'T DO IT" feedback...

I already made my choice to have this surgery. This time next week will be my Sleeve Eve and I'm ready for it.

I mistakenly thought more people would say they had these thoughts as well. That doubt was all part of nerves. But whatever, if I'm unique in these thoughts, I'm okay with that. I'm just being honest with myself, but I'm not going to back out of this now! I've made all these healthy changes to be prepared for what's coming, not so I can turn and run away.