The Emotions?

[auntyc 14]

Hi Everyone,

I have been lurking for a bit and feel like this is the place to get some help. How do you manage the emotions of this decision? I have been through all the appointments and am now waiting for my insurance to approve for the sleeve. But I am having a hard time with the emotional impact of not being "normal" after this surgery. I know normal is all relative but in this I mean no longer having a regular stomach. I am struggling with emotionally getting to be ok with this choice. Mentally I understand that this is the step I need to take to be healthier. I have failed at every diet, exercise plan, medicine etc. there is. This is it if I want to live a happy life. I love what the outcomes will be: smaller and healthier me, less pain, no more meds(!), etc. etc. I just have a hard time telling myself that having this smaller stomach will let me be "normal" in life. For example, when you go out on a date...you want to be able to eat normally and not seem to be one of those "picky eaters". I know it isn't about the food, it's about the person. But I guess I just use this as an example because this is something that I have not been done in a REALLY long time. I am not sure if I am making any sense. How do/did you handle the emotional impact? Any advice you can give is greatly appreciated!!!

[mysleevemylife 158]

^{Hi there! Well, I requested extra counseling after the initial psych evaluation that was required for my insurance. I'm not sure if you are spiritual or not, but what I did was I talked to God a lot & told him all of my worries, fears, anxieties. I literally said "Lord, please let me be one of those types that can tolerate just about anything after surgery". I watched a whole lot of Youtube videos & received a lot of tips, ideas, strength, and encouragement. I also utilized this forum a lot. I spent many days before/after work lying on the couch or on the bed & thinking/meditating about my feelings & the journey ahead of me. These are things that helped me. I was DETERMINED before surgery to return to as much as a normal life as possible. I knew I would follow the advise of the professionals for the most part, but I've also learned to know what my personal body wants/needs despite of. For example, I just started using a straw today with no issues. It's helping me drink my Water better/quicker (not too quick of course). I hope this helps. Oh, I've also journaled to get my emotions out.}

[buplee 556]

I also went through additional counseling sessions to deal with my decision to have surgery. I had to come to grips with my feelings of failure. I tried and succeeded on losing weight numerous times during my life, but was always unsuccessful in keeping it off. I have lost 60-80lbs several times but ultimately gained the amount I lost plus more. What you're going through is completely normal. It is a hard decision to lose a large part of a major organ as the only way to lose weight. It seems so unfair that some people can eat a side of beef and still lose weight or struggle to maintain it. My wife and son can eat anything they want and never gain more than 5 lbs, but those are not the genetics I was given. My father was overweight had high blood pressure and died young from pancreatic cancer. My mother is overweight and is dealing with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and is insulin dependent. I have dodged those diseases so far and I did this so I can stay healthy. I am happy you had the courage to post how you felt and you joined this forum. Overall, you will receive good advice, concern, and in some case tough love as needed. I wish you well as you come to grips with your decision, and encourage you to speak to a therapist, or a close confidant to help you through this journey. I know I would have had a tough time had it not been for my immediate family,

[Spatters3 315]

I hated having to do WLS. It was recommended to me for years. "No no, I can do this the right way." And I got fatter and older and had to have my knees replaced and my one foot rebuilt and still, I didn't think *I* needed WLS. Plus, all that was available was the band or gastric bypass - both of those options scared the heck out of me. My 3rd knee replacement was the convincer - I couldn't find a surgeon to do it because I was too heavy. I ended up in a power chair and almost on long term disability until a friend of my brother recommended me to an orthopaedic surgeon friend of his. He fixed my bunged up knee and then told me, "You know, you really should get WLS so you can start living again." And, he was right. It STILL took me 2 years after that to finally start the process of getting the sleeve.

So, yes, it is a very traumatic and emotional thing to have to go through. But I did and you will and we'll both start living again :-) A couple of months after I got my sleeve I was diagnosed with uterine cancer and have been through hell for the past year BUT a hundred pounds lighter which made a very big difference in my treatment and recovery.

Let's start living again, stop worrying, and enjoy the journey!

[A_Sahar 11]

For me...same as most, this was not an easy decision. I asked myself, "what do you need to change, what do you want to change, what will happen if you don't change and what are you willing to change?" I prayed, researched, and prayed some more. At the end of the day, I chose my life. This surgery is helping me save my life, improve the quality of my life and ultimately the quantity of my life.

I've been fortunate, no complications or issues. At 10 weeks out, I feel normal. I eat less, I'm losing weight, I have energy to spare and looking forward to the future. I'm as social as before surgery, I eat out and entertain often, normal whatever that is, lol.

This is a big decision, one that's worth all the thought you're giving it. When the time comes you will make the right choice for you. Stay true to yourself and happiness is in your future either way.