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I am now a master farter!



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Congrats on your victorious farts. My toots have diminished since surgery. I'm thinking because of my lack of fruits and veggies. I'm hoping to regain some fart power once I'm on solid good phase :) but congrats again!! Haha funny topic

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Oh my God! I was laying in bed with my husband reading this while he was sleeping and laughing so much that I was shaking the bed and waking him up with tears rolling down my face. Y'all are hilarious!

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I know how much my husband appreciates the musical horn solo lullaby I serenade him with each night when we go to bed! :P

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This thread totally cracks me up. The gas is seriously unbelievable. I tell my hubs all the time that I'm so grossed out by my bodily functions now. I even belch really loud and its embarrassing because I never use to do that unless I drank soda which was rare. But hey if it promotes wait loss... All the more power to us all ;)

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Chris!!!!! Omg that was funny!

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All that Protein but seriously Ewww not ladylike lolz ladies don't FART!! We poot

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All that Protein but seriously Ewww not ladylike lolz ladies don't FART!! We poot

Poot? No way! I used to do little, secret, powder puffs, but now they are thunder claps, atomic bombs, blow your ass off FARTS!!! And I am such a lady too, it's life shattering.

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I cannot wait for this side effect! I will finally be able to outfart the men I work with! Imagining their faces is priceless.

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Perhaps you should alert the media.

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I am a Master Belcher! Maybe we should get together and make some music!!

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I'm a week out and have SO MUCH GAS INSIDE me that is killing me. I would LOVE to fart and belch like an old beer belly man. seriously, to let some of this torturous gas out would be heaven.

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I'm not at the farting phase yet. I'm scared if I tried....well, you know.... It might wind up being poo in my pants! Lol

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I always was gassy before (due to IBS) but now it's even worse! And before, a lot of times it was just air but now, 9 times out of 10, it reeks! It's embarrassing. I used to be able to do it in my corner at work and get away with it but now it stinks up the whole room. I was 3 months post-op when I started dating my last boyfriend and I tried so hard to hide it but I don't think I was very good at it. We'd go to bed at night and he always wanted to spoon. I'm sure he noticed me tensing my entire body (to try to hold it in). Now that I'm single again, it's one of my biggest worries about finding someone new. That's ridiculous! I've brought it up at my last two follow-up appointments and the CNP didn't seem too concerned or offer any advice.

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    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

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      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
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