Coming to terms with myself before surgery

[TonyaMac 93]

I started off struggling with my own failure to lose the weight. How could I fail so miserably? In the past few weeks I have had to look at myself closely and admit I failed. There I said it. i failed. I ate fried chicken, i ate the ice cream, I ate the cake. I'm a fat girl. It happened I'm choosing to move past it. I wasn't going to tell anyone at work out of shame but today I just felt like I had to say something and well then the cat was out of the bag.

I was at a department luncheon today and this chick across the table from me was complaining about her 27 yr old son. He had "snuck in" a girl from the bar. yes he is 27 still living with mom and no job. Anyway- she was ranting how she knew he had snuck her in because she was a fat girl and she had told him repeatedly not to date fat girls because they are ugly and, useless, and cant hold a job. Now i was not the only big girl at the table and I could see their discomfort. So me being me blurted out-

"i'm a fat girl and i have had a job since I was 14. I have a wonderful marriage, an awesome kid, and 2 dogs who love me. Whats your issue with fat people? Will you like me better when I have weight loss surgery in a few months?"

She stammered how she didn't mean it like that what ever lady, yes you did.

Well it got around the office fairly quickly and I am now "that girl" who is getting surgery. so what? yeah I am that girl. that girl who is choosing to take charge of her life, that girl who is going to change herself, that girl who refuses to continue down a negative and destructive path.

Plus side- i had 4 people come up to me who have had WLS and i never knew it. they offered their support, warning, and help.

[taurabird 142]

Good for you for standing up to that bully!

[No game 14,437]

The only thing you need to come to terms with is the fact that there are a lot of idiots in this world and you had the misfortune of having to sit across from one!

Good luck to you, and remember all the good you have on your life

Laura

[makemyownluck 785]

Good for you for saying something!! I was stuck in a group convo at work a few weeks ago and this woman was going on and on about how her 4 and 6 year old children eat and how she wants to make sure "they don't get fat". She said it several times as she was talking about how she keeps them physically active and how she feeds them good foods and stuff. On one hand, I get it. If I have kids, I hope they don't suffer obesity like I did. But, IDK, coming from her (perky, tiny woman) and the way she was saying it (and/or the way I was hearing it), it seemed like it would just be THE WORST THING EVER if her kids were fat. They would be ugly, they would be bad in some way.

I've told 4 people at work. Two managers, who I've asked specifically not to share the news, and two work buddies (who I'm also friends with outside of work) who were also asked not to share the news. So far, as far as I know, word has not gotten out. But I haven't really figured out how to explain my 2 week absence, because in the 5 years I've worked at this company, I've never taken a 2 week vacation. I've never taken a 1 week vacation. I like to take long weekends here and there, never a big chunk of time.

I think I've decided I'm not saying a darn thing. If/when they ask when I come back, maybe I'll be ready to tell them when it's all said and done. But as far as pre-op, I don't really want to hear everyone else's opinion on this right now.

I applaud your courage to wear it proudly right now. I'm still not 100% sure I'll broadcast my surgery, but if it gets out, I'm curious to see who comes out of the woodwork to share their story. There are a few people I suspect have had it... and I just LOVE it when I'm right!

[ISleevedIt 380]

I applaud you for standing up for "fat" people. You know "fat" is a relative term.

She probably means that her "useless" son can't get a "useful" girlfriend.

[delta_girl 931]

Seriously? I was a fat girl 6 months ago with 5 college degrees and working on a doctorate with a very well paying job and no bills. I have a killer resume. Being fat has NOTHING to do with intelligence or productivity.

But also..I don't know that you can really ever get yourself totally "ready." I was waking up from anesthesia after surgery still trying to decide if I thought I should do it or not because when it comes to food I knew I had been a lifetime failure. But it worked out OK so far. Just take the leap of faith with good intentions and do your best. That is all any of us can do.

[Slimchic2013 3]

That's so awesome you spoke up for us "big girls" who do have jobs, husbands or partners and kids plus a life full of normal things ALL people do not just fat people !!

[Slimchic2013 3]

@ makemyownluck , Same here with time off. I've taken the time I need, nobody at work knows cause I decided not to say a word. I'm self-pay n so it's my choice, I don't need opinions unless they chipping in on the cost !? 3 people in my life know: hubby, my 2 closest BFF's (1 was sleeved in 10/2012).

[takingbackcontrol 137]

Maybe say you are having a girl surgery? Hysterectomy?

[TonyaMac 93]

I found out today my boss had WLS almost 10 yrs ago. He had a little chat with her in his office today. I can only assume she will soon be taking the state class on diversity here soon. As a state employee with the Department of Health and Senior Services you have to be a bit more ethical.

[bethxxx 304]

Goon on you!!! Well done for standing up for yourself, what a brave woman you are. And what a stupid woman you work with.

I have also become "that girl" to my partners friends as he went and told them all without me knowing. I never knew that all his friends knew until last night at dinner one of them asked me about it. I feel like they are probably all talking behind my back as the surgery is pretty uncommon here, I don't know anyone who has had it and neither has his friends who I've spoken too. So now I picture when I'm introduced to someone, it would pop into their heads "oh that's that girl who had that surgery"...

Anyway I don't really care coz I've lost so much weight they can all obviously see its working.

Good luck with everything