Hello All

[bushbaby 8]

Originally posted by DeLarla

A man who loves dogs fits right in my heart.

Dogs are amazing little people, I agree.

I love my dogs too. I would have never had the heart to take the blankie. Although I must admit I will never have to they sleep inbetween me and my hubbie

[DeLarla 22]

My dogs usually sleep on top of me and hubby. I'm not sure why my little girl dog decided to sleep on the floor that night. Probably cuz our blankets made a better bed than our old matress!

[bushbaby 8]

Killer runs our bed we sleep around him...lol he is only 8lbs a Chiuhauha. And Diva she's or Chi-pom sleeps at my feet.

[MeganA 35]

Whippledaddy-

I'm with everyone else about the dog thing....

But I have a question or two for you...

What was it like having a spouse who lost so much weight while you didn't? There is a thread on here somewhere about support at home and I was just curious what your experience was like. You don't have to share if you don't want to, but I was curious.

About the leeching- in all of my research I don't remember finding anything like that. I do know that the band can be tighter or looser depending on several factors- my hydration (or lack there of), my hormone levels, and if I have thrown up. The explination I've gotten for that is that our body fluids change and they can apply more pressure to the tube of saline. Also, if you iritate your pouch it can swell and cause more restriction.

If you do find another answer to your question, let us know!

Megan

[whippledaddy 5]

Well, your question is a good one. My view of the situation may be different because of the circumstances surrounding my wife's decision to have the roux en y. The story is a little long, but, to understand how I was affected by it you need to know the background.

Patty, my wife, was injured on the job in September of 2000. She ruptured four discs in her neck and severly damaged the soft tissue of her shoulder, torn rotator cuff, slap lesions, detatched ligaments of the biceps, clavicle and more.

She recieved two fusions of her spine at the neck, but her weight, over 460lbs, made imaging difficult, and shoulder repair impossible.

She underwent the gastric bypass to lose weight and reduce the effects of gravity on her neck and shoulder. She is short, and very busty, so this seemed like a good plan at the time. In any case the shoulder cannot be repaired successfully at that much excess weight.

I went into it with my eyes open. I knew there was a strong emotional element to weight loss. I was treated to all the horror stories about how a spouse loses weight and leaves the chubby one in the dust to create a new life.

Well I had to look deep within myself. One way to know if you love someone is to decide if you would give them up if it were the best thing for them. I am happy to say that if it meant her well being or happiness, I'd step back in a minute. If she left me, I would be sad, but I cannot stand by and see her in terrible pain just so I can keep her.

I decided to be just as supportive as I knew how. Mostly this was one simple decision: It was her body, and her life, so I would stand behind any decision she would make, and put my own fears and feelings aside. I would never say "Oh you're losing too much" or "one little piece of pecan pie couldn't hurt, have some ice cream with it!"

Well, so far she's lost 260 with another forty to go before they do the surgery. She's a hottie, but then she always was, now she's a thin hottie. I'm a lucky man. Yes I am. She's still here, and so am I.

It was a joy to see the pounds melt off, to see her go from big clothes to normal ones. I treasure each day and try to help her understand she is a shadow of her former self. You see, she still feels fat, and, maybe fat is really a state of mind as much as anything else.

I cook us balanced meals. She eats a bit of protien, a bit of veggies, and some of the starch. I eat everything else. She gets nerve blocks for the spine and shoulder pain every six weeks, she gets trigger point injections every week. She gets pain meds administered by injection at home three times a week. She sees a pain therapist, a pain doctor three hundred miles away, and gets therapy regularly. When the forty pounds are off she will have shoulder surgery. She may need the breast reduction and the Tummy Tuck, the batwing removal, and the thigh job before the forty pounds will be lost. There may be almost forty pounds of skin there to cut off. I will be there through it all unless she decides she would be better off without me. She can fire me, but I won't give up.

Hope this answers your question. It sure took me long enough, wordy, ain't I?

[leatha_g 4]

what a beautiful story. if only all women were as fortunate. sounds like you're a keeper, large or small. I wish you both the best!

leatha

[Penni60 45]

Whippledaddy, you are certainly the most supportive spouse I have heard of to date. You and your wife are lucky to have each other large or small.

[La_madam 20]

Whippleddaddy

You are an awesome man!

You remind me of my husband. He is so much like you. He loves me at whatever weight I am at. He is so supportive of my band journey. He is the most comapssionate and loving man I have ever known and no matter how much weight I lose there will never be a man who will love me like he does ..this I know for fact. So I'm staying right here and I look forward to my thinner days ahead so he and I can enjoy our future together. Your wife is a lucky woman to have such a wonderful husband in you. And congratulations to your wife. What an accomplishment she has made losing 260 pounds. I'm sorry to hear of her pain...I too understand that, my husband has had 3 neck surgeries for disc problems and is not needing back surgery but refuses since he has had such bad luck with his neck surgeries. He is on pain meds probably for the rest of his life (the fentanyl patch) and he sees a pain management doctor once a month and also recieves injections .He is in constant pain daily. My husband is 6'1 and weighs 198 . He has never battled with his weight..

I wish you both success and happiness.

Thank you for sharing your story..

[MeganA 35]

Whippledaddy-

I am at a loss for words, and that NEVER happens.

Ok, the words are back...Your wife is a very lucky woman in so many ways. You are a brave man, too- to stand by through all of the events since her accident. I'm sure there have been times when you've had to put all your needs aside.

I can't help but think the band would be a great option for you- especially with the troubles she has. She needs you to be around and be as healthy as you can be.

Where do guys like you grow up, anyway? I'm a single girl and would very much like to find one like you :-). It's awefully hard to find a MAN these days...lots of boys...some guys...but true men are very hard to come by.

Best of luck with your decision, you certainly deserve the freedom that loosing excess weight gives you!

If you have any specific questions for us, let us know!

And thanks for being so honest...

Megan

[New Hope 37]

Whippledaddy and Michelle, have your spouses tried acupuncture for their chronic pain? It's usually not covered by insurance, but it helped my husband after open-heart surgery, horrible back muscle spasms, trigger point injections did minimal good. Might be worth a try.

[DeLarla 22]

Wippledaddy, will you leave your wife and marry me if I divorce my husband?

You just wrote the decade's sweetest love story that really touched me.

[New Hope 37]

No, Lisa, I can't let that happen. Chris loves you and all of your furbabies. You couldn't handle the bitter "pet custody" battles! So just behave yourself before I have to come over there with a cast Iron skillet and knock some sense into you, girl!

[DeLarla 22]

I could never separate my (fine, our) fur babies. So I guess I have to withdraw my marriage proposal to Mr. Whipple's daddy. Marie, could I borrow that skillet to knock some sense into Chris? All we have is Teflon that woulnd't even make a dent in Chris's Cement head.

[hagerteresa 3]

Lisa, fight fire with fire. You should make up a bunch of different terrible tasting things and follow him around for a few day asking: Honey will you please try this for flavor. Just do a bunch of odd different things and don't let up. If you need help thinking of odd things just let us know. LOL.. My husband is one of those who follows me around asking: What is there to eat? What's for dinner? etc. I don't know which is worst. Hubby can go in and stare into the fridge for about 10 minutes and not be able to find anything. He will come in and tell me THERE IS NOTHING TOO EAT... I want to clobber him when he does this. I suddenly have to stop what I am doing and list all the available things in our kitchen for him to eat. I WISH he were more independant in the kitchen. God forbid if he does try to cook something, there will be a good mess left behind. My husband seems to learn things in halves: he will take out the trash but forget to put a new liner in, wash the dishes but has never put them away, cook but not clean up, you get the picture. LOL... It is hysterical. Oh, I know it could be worst. All in all he is really sweet and loves me a lot (he voluteered to work the last two saturday evenings for free so he could get us free tickets to the Fiddler on the Roof performance tonight) but it is funny watching his quircks too. And by the way, I don't know how he got the idea that I WANTED to go to Fiddler on the Roof. Teresa

[DeLarla 22]

Chris is exactly the same way. He's constantly starving to death because "my wife won't cook or go to the store." First, we could feed a family of four for a couple weeks with what's in our house, but worse, he hasn't learned in over a decade that I have never or will never accept any responsibility that he views as "women's work." He knows his chauvanistic comments won't get him anywhere, but he's dumb as a box of rocks and still thinks I'll suddenly jump to attention at his command. Like last we were partying with my friends, and they asked what my plans were today. Before I could answer, Chris announced, "she's got to do the grocery shopping tomorrow." BOINK. Wrong answer. If he asked me to go in a decent tone, I'd be at the market right now. But I don't take orders so I'll be busy floating in the pool today. Doesn't he remember the last 100 times just this year that he's tried telling me what my wifely job description entails? Does he NOT remember my vagina tantrum? Has anyone seen a grocery store with posted signs "NO VAGINA, NO SERVICE" or "SHIRTS SHOES AND VAGINAS REQUIRED?"