Hello All

[DeLarla 22]

Yep, life sure can throw a fast curve ball at you. I had a really horrible childhood, but then I meet people who have lost children or their parents at a really young age. I had a hard life, but nothing tragic, so I always wonder if and when my number will come up to face something tragic.

My girlfriend was killed right after high school. But I didn't find out till a year later because we lost touch when she met a new boyfriend. It was hard when I learned, but till this day it really didn't sink in since I tend to disbelieve things unless I see them for myself.

[whippledaddy 5]

If the pain doctor is any good he or she has been looking for RSD. In my wife's case some of them think the epidurals may have triggered it.

I'm floored by the enormity of what you have been through. Surely any weight you've gained has been due to stress and the hormone it produces. I'm very happy that you have this tool to help you drop the pounds. If anyone ever deserved to be healthy and take care of themselves you do.

Your husband and son are fortunate indeed to have such a strong caregiver. You exhibit strength of mind body and spirit. What an inspiration!

Thank you for teaching me how to be strong.

Now, I have a small idea what your life is like. Find a way to do something nice for yourself. Because you deserve it. Because others in your life have their own crosses to bear and they may not notice that you aren't being nice to yourself. Give yourself a present. Get your nails done, give yourself a day at the park with a book.

All I know is that as a caregiver you have put your own life, your own self on hold. You are special people, as all caregivers are, but you owe it to yourself to give you a treat.

It will help everyone in the end. Only by taking care of you can you do the best job of taking care of them.

Thanks for the kind words again, and God bless you.

[La_madam 20]

Again Whippleddaddy thanks for the info my husband has sure had his share of epidurals over the years for both his neck and back..I will definately ask his doctor about this..

You are very kind..I have been trying to do more things for myself. The band was one of those things..I just also bought 2 books, I do get my toes done every 2 weeks it is my retreat and 1 hour of peace. I'm struggling with a new problem in my life right now so I'm trying to find some sense of serenity..this board sure does help!

Thanks for your encouraging and kind words

My mother always told me what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger..and that God will only give you what you are strong enough to handle..He must of thougt I was a rock of strength...

But

I truly believe everything in our lives happens for a reason. My oldest son dying of cancer saved my youngest sons life..he had a dream about his younger brother while he was in the hospital fighting for his life, he told me he had a bad dream that something was wrong with his youngest brother and that we had to take him to the doctor he was adamant about it so we did and never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that my youngest would be diagnosed with cancer also...but honestly my husabnd and I truly believe God did this for a reason with my mother dying 10 days before my son , we had a reason to carry on..we had to be strong for our youngest son while he was going through his intense chemo. We thank god everyday for our son having that dream or who know if we would of ever caught my sons cancer.

This band is giving me my life back after living in a fog for the last 6 years....my family is reaping the benefits from it just as much as I am!

[nightingale2u 42]

Michelle... Your strength is amazing... I have one child and it has crossed my mind that I would go over the edge if anything happened to her. I pray that your family is on a road to a happier and healthier future, (((hugs)))

WhippleDaddy... I think you are the winner of the most replies to an introduction post! 3 years ago I never would have imagined that "good" men existed... but when I found my husband I learned that they do exist. He has been so supportive even though I know he has his own fears about my getting thin.

Leatha... Wow... I glad you are hanging with us now as are all making changes that will help us live. It is amazing how strong the human spirit is!

When I worked in the hospital... I would get so attatched to patients... really put my heart and soul into caring for them... needless to say... I was absolutely destroyed if any patient ever died. Death is a part of life that I just haven't come to terms with yet. Strangely enough... if was my father's death... my brother's horrible motorcycle accident and my step-father's stroke (All within one month) that lead me to nursing in the first place.

Sending wishes to all for a year full of goodness and positive change! Life has dealt us all different hands and luckily... we are all here to talk about it!

Darcy

[Neicy 0]

I feel so blessed after reading these posts, I had a really rough childhood, but no major tragedies as an adult. If and when my turn comes around, I hope I can muster the strength, grace and wisdom that it takes to weather the storm and come out a better person as you all have done. I am in awe of you, Michelle, Leatha and Whippledaddy. Ya'll are champions of life and an example for us to follow when hard times knock at the door.

I truly believe that hardship makes us grow, and strenghtens our soul. I wanted to respond to these posts several times but couldn't find the right words, but it left a real impact in my heart.

Bless you all!

[leatha_g 4]

Thanks for the kind words you guys! There is a saying in some 12 step circles "If He can bring you to it. He can bring you through it!" That, to me, sums it all up pretty well. The human spirit is indeed much stronger than we know, with help. :cool:

Hope you all have a great Tuesday!

Leatha

[whippledaddy 5]

Wow!

This is one pretty great group of people here. Just think, we're scattered all over and we connect via this tenuous ribbon of light called the Internet.

So many wandering paths that conjoin here, in this electronic place that is everywhere, yet.....nowhere! Miracles still happen.

Leatha, La Madam. Delarla, Neicy, New Hope, Nightingale. It's obvious why you are all so caring and sharing, why you see beyond the physical, why you can understand pain and despair in all its forms.

You've been there. You've done that. Now, you are here, helping others to cope with the act of living.

I believe everything happens for a reason, and I believe that the reasons may be too convoluted, too deeply entwined in each other to make ready sense. Everyone here has had demons to fight, crosses to bear. Each are triumphant. I'm proud and blessed to have found you all, (and I feel really special about being the only male).

[leatha_g 4]

Wow! Well, thank you so much for such eloquent words. Beautiful! I now have tears in my eyes. lol.:cool:

You're right! It is a very special thing to connect with people on a different plane than the physical. Very special indeed!

[nightingale2u 42]

I'm right there with you Leatha!! Doggone eye leakage!

WhippleDaddy... we not only need more men like you in this world... but we need ya right here at LBT!

Darcy

[DeLarla 22]

I come her to feel the love (and to get in an occasional cat fight.) Hey, who said that?

[La_madam 20]

LOL

Lisa you crack me up!

I can't wait to meet you in person next week!!!

[DeLarla 22]

Michelle, can you come sooner... like NOW? HELP, I just binged. I've been eating an hour straight. I hate this F!$!^&@#$%ING disease!

I feel like crying. Sure, I know it's normal to go off the deep end from time to time, but it's exhausting being mentally ill. It's hard enough dealing with my psycho family (who have been adjudicated insane by real judges) but to have to deal with the insanity of eating crap that I don't want, that doesn't taste good, that makes me feel sick, makes my body sick, destroys my mind, and makes me fat is more than I feel like dealing with right now. Anyone got a big, fat, pretty pill?

[DeLarla 22]

P.S. Somebody hold me.

[DeLarla 22]

P.S.S. Maybe it's my financial stress... anyone got an extra ten or twenty grand they don't need? DeLarla, shut up. No, you shut up, Lisa. If you two don't stop fighting I'm gonna shutta you both up. SHUT SHUT UP UP LOUIS LOUIS.

Where's that pill? We'll take 3.

[whippledaddy 5]

Hey, Kid, you alright? Sounds like you're having a tough nite of it.

I'm just sitting here on the comp. Reading up on this stuff. Patty's in a Fentanyl induced stupor in the other room, watching the same movie for the seventeenth time claiming she's never seen it before.

Sounds like you're working through it. I know one thing you're right about. This eating thing is so seldom about being hungry, or feeding the body. It's like food is the only thing that shuts off the FEELING for awhile. Like being with a good friend who really listens. Only this friend is secretly trying to kill us, and even though we know it, we keep coming back.

Finances? Yep, that sucks. Mine suck too. I work lots of overtime, which makes me behind on all the housework, which brings over the friends and family who help clean, but then nothing can be found, and all my white work shirts (uniforms) are now a subdued pink.

And the answer is to eat. Ice cream, or Cookies, or whatever. I've been cooking all my life, so I can whip up anything quickly, but all I seem to make is comfort food. Why is unhealthy so comforting?

I'll be up a while. Worked a midnite last night, slept to long today, won't be able to go to sleep on time, I'll be here to read any type of rant you want to post.

In the meantime, think I'll go pop some popcorn. Better yet, I've got a yummy jar of pesto in the fridge. A little Pasta (maybe a lot) and some garlic bread, yeah that might do it. And I'll have drugged myself with food, again.

I think your sense of humor, and your amazing ability to be frank with yourself and others will stand you in good stead tonite.

Post.

Send your frustration and your outrage into the darkness, whip it down this invisible chord called the info superhighway.

All the others will read it too. They will understand. It sounds like we've all walked more than a mile in each others moccasins.

Send those feelings out. Send them to eyes yours have never met, but to hearts you've managed to touch. Send them out, fly them in the grinning faces of the Gods of Temptation. And maybe, just maybe, in this sharing, you'll defeat those Gods, just a little.

You'll make it through tonite.

And just a footnote. Everyone I've met on here is incredibly beautiful.

You are no exception.