A YEAR Later...well almost

[birdee 1]

I am kinda worried about my weight Loss....(Like who isn't huh.) Well I looked at the calendar and I am almost a year out. It's been a long but short year.....if that makes since. From one stand point it seems like forever, but then again, maybe not.

When I look at so many bandster stats and I feel like I am a failure. I know I have not played it straight either.

For some strange reason, I thought the weight would come off easier than it has. I guess I thought that just getting the band would be enough. It has taken me a whole year to realize that getting the band is not enough. :think

It's obvious that I am a slow learner .

So what's a gal to do??!!??

I am searching for hope. I need to know that at 3.4 cc's a year later and 49 pounds lighter, that it is possible to make it to my goal. I guess I am so use to seeing the bulk of the weight fall off of people in their first year, and in actuality I am only half way there.

I just needed to vent..........

Thanks!!!!

Birdee

7/23/2003

235/186/135

[hagerteresa 3]

Hi Birdee,

The nice thing about the band is that it is permanent (ussually) and you can always pick up where you left off. No matter how you feel about your success, you are STILL lighter than you were last year at this time. Appreciate even that!!! One of the pschological questions I was asked before I got the band was, "would you be really depressed if you got the band and didn't lose anything?" Well I said I would be kind of bummed but it wouldn't turn me suicidal or anything. LOL. You should feel very happy about the success you have had, not the failures. Start pushing the Protein, blah blah, I know you have heard it all. You just need to take action again. Have you gotten that new book by the Jessie lady? I am waiting for my copy but I am sure there is information in there that would help too. Do you use fitday or track your calories some other way? Maybe it is time to change your tactic against the evil fat plague. Feel good about yourself, you deserve it. Teresa:)

[DeLarla 22]

Lil Bird, maybe you should revamp your goals. My goal was to be happier and healthier. Therefore, I'm a success because I've already reached goal.

But Sister, I'm afraid I'll be in the same boat as you. My band has lost its initial appeal, and I'm not listening to it when it tells me I've eaten enough. I had one good day this week, but the rest of the days sucked. Actually, only certain meals suck. I'm great at Breakfast and usually at lunch. But today I had a huge chunk of birthday cake past being full that left me uncomfy. For dinner, I wasn't even hungry so I ate a bowl of peanuts... a huge bowl.

I wish I could get some new motivation but evil outside forces make it too easy for me to slip up. Some days I hate my husband because he's always talking about dinner, like I give a damn. He calls me at work at 3:00 and asks me what we're going to do about dinner. This question baffles me. If he's hungry, why doesn't he just eat something? I've been asking him to leave me alone about dinner for 13 years, but it's still a huge household issue. I hate dinner. I think I'll skip it tomorrow. I wonder if I can, just for principle. Why can't he just eat a can of corn or a potato like a normal woman?

[leatha_g 4]

hahaha, you're a nut, Lisa! I remember feeling the same way about my ex-husband.

****************************************************

Birdie,

As for being one year out and not meeting your goals. I understand. I wanted to shoot for 100lbs in my first year. Well. I didn't make it, but I also started exercising faithfully rather late and I also made a conscious decision to keep having some of my comfort foods (ice cream/desserts). So, it's a proven fact that one can still lose with the band, even if they do make bad choices, but it's also a proven fact that your loss is a direct relation to those choices.

I believe that my eating habits have been majorly changed, nevertheless. I have gone one whole year without a KrispyKreme donut or my favorite cheeseburger/fries junk food. That is major accomplishment. I rarely eat Pasta and if I do, it's only for taste. I cannot sit down and eat a bowl full of rice or noodles of any kind - AND THAT'S OKAY! I don't eat sandwiches anymore - I eat the meat/veggies rolled up and move on. I don't eat chips unless I've absolutely named and owned a craving/need and consciously make the decision to have it. pizza is NOT my friend! pizza will hurt me if I try to stuff the dough down my gullet! I will eat the topping if it's my only choice - because I love glorified fat!

But, one year later, I actually DO make the better choice sometimes and that is progress.

I am not on a diet. Diets got me where I am today. I am learning what works for my body and what doesn't. I eat more chicken than I've ever eaten in my life. I eat way more fish than I ever did before.

I thought surely when they took this fill out of my band I would gain 20lbs overnight due to my lack of discipline. It didn't happen. I did try some interesting tests and I was surprised but pleased with the results.

One day, I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich at the cafeteria at work. I had my mouth all set for that grilled cheese. I took my first bite and it felt like some sort of foam in my mouth. Not because of my body's reaction to it, but simply because MY tastes had changed. I found that bread pretty disgusting and after taking 2-3 more bites I threw it in the trash! ME?? I threw a grilled cheese in the trash! That's progress!

Another day, I saw the regular box of donuts just sitting there all alone in the office, calling my name. The first day I

avoided it, the second day, I decided one little donut would not knock my weight loss in the head, so I grabbed one and headed to my office. Of course, my first fear is that the dough will get stuck and I'll die trying to clog my arteries with fried dough and sugar. I still went ahead and took one small bite. It tasted pretty good and it didn't get stuck. Even so, I still was hesitant to take the second bite. It just wasn't THAT good. I did wind up taking the second nibble - still afraid it would surely kill me and I quickly threw the thing in the trash. Major progress for me!

So, interestingly, I proved to myself that because of the changes in attitude that I must surely have implemented over the past year, I had the power to say 'NO' to food even without the restriction I had had. I'm still very skiddish about it, because I know how easy it would be to fall back into old habits, but it seemed like the restriction had definitely helped to re-train some of my old thinking and I felt much better about myself and my journey thus far.

This is not an overnight deal. Yes, some folks diet more and exercise more and that's okay. Each of us have our own issues to deal with. I think therapy must help. I haven't sought any out due to my work being mostly travel and never knowing I can be home for an appointment. I think it might have helped me more. I also had no support for the first year which I think slowed me down also. There was 7 months that I had NO follow-up care whatsoever, so all of this comes into play. Even at that.. I'm still 60lbs lighter than I was a year ago. I can still get on a bicycle today when there is no way I would have tried it a year ago. I'm taking up less space and I'm still alive which is definitely a different direction than I was going when I started this trip, so I am making progress. So are you...

:D

Leatha

[donali 57]

Hi Birdee!

Congrats on losing 49 pounds!!! Whoo hooo!!

49 pounds a year will definitely get you where you are going!!

Celebrate all the wonderful changes -49 pounds have brought to your life - new clothes, easier body movement, hope for the future...

It's never too late to make better choices without giving up anything. Surely you have made some changes already - babysteps, babysteps!! Pound by pound you are going to creep up to your goal, and one day you're going to BE there!!!

If you want advice on specific challenges you face you know we're here for you!!

xxoo

[Neicy 0]

Birdee, we started out at about the same weight, I don't think you're doing too bad. I was told that I would lose a bit slower than some one heavier, when you get closer to goal it goes sloooww!

Lisa, my husband does the same thing to me! The girls at work all laugh because you can set the clock by his call. You know they're just trying to be sweet! Worst thing for us though!

[Neicy 0]

Lisa, I say he's being sweet cause he KNOWS I'm not cooking, and he wants to know where we're going out! What a man!

[~c~ 1]

Sent you a PM...

[birdee 1]

I hate my husband because he's always talking about dinner

LOL!!!!

It's so funny now that I am banded, how much food resolves around my life. For instance lunch time I am NEVER hungry for lunch, but I go because that's social time from work. dinner well hell I cooked it why not eat it. To be honest, I eat to eat. I am so glad that I was banded, because my mind will have me wanting and craving things that I KNOW I don't need. The band jumps right in and says "hell no" So all in all I am grateful for the band......

All day yesterday all I thought about was dinner, dinner, I wanted something good in my mouth. I went to my mom's house fixed a plate and guess what....the band said "hell no" it's a goo thing to. I would have eaten the whole plate. I am gradually doing better. I am drinking no less than 4 cups of Water a day, sometimes more. I have been walking/jogging at the park...not this week though. It's that TOM and I feel like CRAP!!!!

You know I guess right now I could curse this band. I NEVER had regular periods.....now they are coming like clock work.....okay, okay, just once a month....but that's a lot compaired to what it use to be.

Well I appreciate everyones kind words and motivation!!!

Thanks a millon....what would I do without the support? :guess

Birdee

[DeLarla 22]

"Going out for dinner" Please define.

I married wrong. I came from an all woman house, where I had to do my own laundry, cooking, etc. from the time I was out of diapers. Mom's mentally ill. Nobody did anything for me. My husband was raised in a male chauvanistic home where his mom did everthing, including getting smacked around when dinner wasn't on the table. Chris still fights me on the issue and thinks cooking and cleaning are women's jobs. Like he thinks I'll suddenly turn into Carol Brady or Mrs. Cleaver after 13 years of telling him to bite me. A couple months back I went off on my famous "vagina tangent" and I'm surprised he didn't call 911 to take me to the County Mental Hospital. I snapped one day at his decade-old attitude of "that's a woman's job" so I started picking up all the cleaning supplies and shoving them in his face while screaming, "The Tide doesn't say "for proper use must have vagina!" Then I ran to the bathroom and read the Ajax container and couldn't find "vagina" anywhere on the label. This went on for 5 minutes with the Windex, dish soap, vacume.

My husband calls me every day to ask about dinner just to torture me. He knows I don't give a damn about dinner, and he knows it irritates the hell out of me when he calls my work asking me where the cheese is. Last week he complained that I let us run out of cat food, so he was going to give Kitty tuna, but we were out of tuna. When I came home, me and Babs pulled 9 cans of tuna out of the cupboard, while he accused us of planting them there. He knows if he asks me nicely, I'm happy to cook for him. But he can be as dumb as a box of rocks and still think acting like Archie Bunker will get him what he wants.

[MeganA 35]

Lisa-

Your story makes me a little glad I'm still single :-)

I have a little something I do with my sister when she get's fixated on something...and won't drop it when I've asked her to.

For example, if she'd call with "What's for dinner" and I had told her that I was going to ignore her next time she called... I'd say, "Hello? Hello? I can't hear you! Huh, must have lost her." and hang up. Two can play that game. Sometimes it takes her calling two or three times but it eventually works and usually makes my point.

I like boundaries very much and will do what it takes to get them (of course, this is all new since being banded!).

Megan

[MeganA 35]

Birdee-

I don't know if anyone can make you feel better but yourself. But I'll try.

I am a slow looser, too...and at times it makes me really frustrated, and then at other times I cry for joy that I"m loosing anything at all.

Decide what your attitude is going to be about it- you are 50 pounds lighter than you were a year ago. 50 Pounds!!! That's one huge bag PLUS one little bag of dog food. Look around your world and see what weighs 50 pounds- your tv, 10 sacks of potatos, a tire, 50 1 lb packages of hamburger...and then think of that being gone off of you forevor.

It sounds to me like there may be some negative self talk going on - "I'm not as good as everyone else. If I would have only..." STOP IT RIGHT NOW! Instead of comparing yourself to other people (where you will ALWAYS come up short) compare yourself to yourself and how much better you feel, how your clothes fit better, how you can get out of the car without needing a crane.

The most important message I can give you (because I have to remind myself a lot!) is that this is your weight loss story. This is about YOU...not about anyone else. YOU are a success. YOU have lost the average amount of weightloss that the band studies show. YOU have done it already! Ok, so there are other people who have lost more- but there are also other people who have lost less. STOP THE MADNESS. In five years it won't matter how long it took you to loose it. Look forward, not backwards!!!

Hang in there!

Megan

[shellyj 5]

this is your weight loss story. This is about YOU...not about anyone else. YOU are a success. YOU have lost the average amount of weightloss that the band studies show. YOU have done it already!

megan hit the nail on the head!

YOU are a success!!! YOU have lost 50 POUNDS!!!

since you were a 'lightweight' when you started (lower BMI) you do lose slower than someone who was with a BMI over 50. just think if you lose another 50 this next year you will be at goal!! that means you will have beaten the 3-5 years to get to goal thing!!! your right on target girl!!! shoot i think your ahead of it!!!

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

michelle

[kellymoos 4]

BIRDEE-- We started out at the exact same weight. I am 5'7" and my goal is another 20-40 lbs; at least 20 lbs! I do understand how you feel cause I feel the same way. I am at 1.5cc's. I had a fill in Jan and then went in May and got an unfill. I was at 2cc's; he took out 1cc. Then I went back on June 21st and got .5cc's back in there so I am now at 1.5cc's. I have another fill scheduled for Aug 16 thinking that maybe I would be ready then to get another fill then. But, I too feel like a failure. I should be to my goal weight in a month and there is not a doubt in my mind that I will not be. I have just started a

support group for my Dr's office and I am thinking I am not anyone that needs to be doing this. I haven't even got to my goal weight and I have been out almost a year. But, I keep going..day by day..week by week. And, I guess one day I will be happy and where I want to be. But, it for sure isn't today or this month:rolleyes:

[Neicy 0]

Kelly, I can't believe your post. Girl, you are my hero! I have been following your progress and thinking if I could only do as well as you have, I'd be so happy! I think we need to be chilling out about the rush to thinness. We are all on our way, and making progress at our own individual rates. You will be a perfect

mentor in your support group. Kudos to you for thinking of others. Maybe I have a "slacker" mentality, but I think all you guys are doing great. Enjoy life today, don't wait to feel good about yourself. You're on your way.