Is it realistic to not tell anyone I'm having surgery?

[lyndeeboo 68]

I had it all planned out. I wasn't telling anyone except my husband and my two best friends. I had decided no one else needed to know because it was MY business. When people asked how I was losing the weight I was going to tell them eating better and exercising. When I needed to take a week off of work I was going to say I had to have a hernia repaired.

But realistically, can I get away with that? I mean, most that have had this surgery drop weight crazy-fast. Will anyone truly believe I've lost 40 pounds in 2 months? Considering I won't be able to really exercise until 6 weeks post surgery, and that will be when I drop a BUNCH of weight (I'm thinking positive here...I WILL lose weight!!!) am I going to be the only one believing my lies???

My reason for not telling is simple. When people hear you've had weight loss surgery, right away they think you've taken the easy way out. And I guess in a way, I AM taking the easy way out. BUT, I can't do it on my own. I've tried SO many times and just can't stick with it. I need something more powerful than myself. I don't think that people that don't have a food addiction can possibly understand the relationship I have with food, just as I cannot understand why someone can't just put down a pack of ciggarettes and stop smoking. I don't want people discrediting all of the hard work I'm doing (exercising, eating better, etc) and give ALL of the credit to the surgery. I know that's lame, but I want some of the credit!

But for those of you that have done this...is it realistic to not tell anyone???

I'm not a god liar, so if anyone ASKS me if I had WLS I would tell the truth...I'd rather tell the truth than be caught in a lie. BUT, dang it I don't want people to know I'm having surgery!!!

[IsB 209]

Outside of my immediate family I didn't tell anyone. To the outside world it's just another diet like the ones I've been on for years only this time it's working. No one has questioned it these past 6 months.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

I didn't tell anyone, but immediate family and like above everyone is so used to me dieting and losing and regaining they don't even say anything to me anymore. I've lost 40+ lbs and not a word. They have noticed I don't eat much, but that's what I always do on diets in the past.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

decided no one else needed to know because it was MY business

lyndeeboo

thats exactly what i said to myself

DH, mom - 4 siblings and daughter - wasn't going to tell anyone else

as time passed though, and lots of weight was lost....

people would ask me how i lost the weight...at the beginning i literally took a minute to answer

the first person i told (an acquaintance) heard the news and was very supporting

I continued to tell people about the WLS - kindof kept waiting for a "disapproving" look

for me - it never happened - no one spoke bad of me (or kept it to themselves)

i just felt funny not telling people

i was gonna say the common "exercise, watching calories, small portions et al"

for me - i'm glad i now tell everyone

some people were extremely interested to the point they started exploring the WLS too!!!!

but.............as everything else with WLS - we are ALL different

whatever you decide, will be the right decision for YOU!!

hope insurance goes well

i will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you!!!!

good luck!!!

[stepheff 33]

As of today I have lost 63lbs and I was sleeved on 01/11/13. I only told my parents, my husband, and one friend. I have chosen to keep it to myself and if anyone asks I tell them exactly what you plan to. Eating better and exercising. This is not untrue whatsoever. And please don't say it is the easy way out! It is SOOOOOO not easy! It is harder than any diet you have ever tried. It is physical, mental, emotional...... I remember I was day 3 post-op and my husband said would you do it all over again.... I said no. I struggled with not being able to drink a lot of Water like I did pre-op. Now 3+ months later I don't regret it one bit, but trust me it is not easy at all! Please message me for any questions. You can do it and you can tell anyone who you want or don't want to! It is all about YOU!!

[thinathart 197]

I'm almost 6 months out and only my DH and BFF knows. When people ask I tell them, I REALLY watch what I eat. No sugar, limited carbs and high Protein. It's is the diet I am eating. I missed 4 days of work, so I don't think anyone thinks any different. I avoid the breakroom treats like the plague, so people know I'm not just saying I gave up sweets. I really did.

[Chris P Bacon 46]

I haven't told anyone. I'm a pretty private person. Even on here with the few posts I have made I try not to divulge to much info about me personally it may be shocking to learn but my name is not actually Chris P Bacon!! (Shocking!!)Lol but really I go to the gym like 6 days a week and people see me there working hard and if anyone else questions ( I say question but really mean compliment, which on a side note i have learned that I am actually terrible at taking compliments ) my weight loss I just explain that I started taking my diet more seriously by seeing a nutritionist and eating a low carb high Protein diet. That works for me and its not really a lie. I wish I was the type of person who could just tell everyone but that's just not how I'm built.

[KristyM 44]

Yes, it is realistic to not tell anyone. I told the same thing about the hernia, which was absolutely true---the hernia was planned to be fixed during my sleeve. You will get a lot of questions when the weight starts coming off. But, you will be able to walk during that 6 weeks, so you will truthfully be exercising. I just posted a blog about this same thing a few minutes ago. I get asked, almost on a daily basis, how I am losing the weight. My standard answer is HARD WORK! Everyone wants to know what "kind of diet" I am on. I tell them I am on a high Protein, low carb, and exercise program. And that is the absolute truth. I have not had anyone right out ask me if I had WLS. I have decided, if they do, to say "How rude. Why would you ask something so personal as that?" and walk away immediately. It is your body, your business, and you don't owe anyone an explanation about your body. Yes, they will be curious and yes you will get questions (ALL THE TIME), stares, and nosey folks all up in your business. But, you absolutely do not have to divulge anything that you do not want to. Just state that you made a life changing decision to be healthy and that you are sticking with it this time! Best wishes to you! If you have any questions, feel free to message me. I will be happy to share!

[lyndeeboo 68]

You all make me SO HAPPY!!!

thank you for taking the time to share your personal stories with me and to tell me that I CAN "tell the truth" and get away with it.

I am just SO READY for this to all be behind me and to be on the other side. Every single day I'm one step closer to being a healthier person and I CAN NOT WAIT! Daily I'm making better choices, and every time I make a good choice I get such a good feeling...it will be nice to be sleeved and have the willpower to keep on making great choices instead of what I've done my entire life, which is make good choices for a few weeks and then 'fall off the wagon'.

Thank you for the wonderful feedback!

[lory2922 21]

I HAVE NOT TOLD ANYONE BUT MY HUSBAND AND TWO CHILDREN.

My surgery is in the morning and I am very anxious and a bit nervous.

[kyllfalcon 768]

I guess it's just such a personal decision and we are all different in our make up and circumstances. I never for a moment thought NOT to tell about my surgery. I told my family, friends, coworkers, and boss. I've told every single person who has commented on my weight loss. I had two folks voice concern and fear pre-surgery, but not one person has made unkind or thoughtless comments. Not one person has declared it the easy way out. Not one person has suggested I should have done otherwise.

[tparkerc59 334]

For what it's worth, I told people about my surgery. Most we're supportive, some curious, a few appalled I would do that! Lol. I have a hard time keeping secrets, so telling was the best way for me. No one has said to me that it was the easy way out..,.most have said it must have taken a lot of courage. Good luck on your journey, no matter you decide to say or not say, this is about getting your relationship with food on track so ignore unhelpful comments.

[Takingcontrol 467]

I'm 4 months out & only immediate family knows about the surgery.....everyone else knows I'm am eating high Protein low carbs & watching my portions...totally true!

[lyndeeboo 68]

I guess it's just such a personal decision and we are all different in our make up and circumstances. I never for a moment thought NOT to tell about my surgery. I told my family, friends, coworkers, and boss. I've told every single person who has commented on my weight loss. I had two folks voice concern and fear pre-surgery, but not one person has made unkind or thoughtless comments. Not one person has declared it the easy way out. Not one person has suggested I should have done otherwise.

For what it's worth, I told people about my surgery. Most we're supportive, some curious, a few appalled I would do that! Lol. I have a hard time keeping secrets, so telling was the best way for me. No one has said to me that it was the easy way out..,.most have said it must have taken a lot of courage. Good luck on your journey, no matter you decide to say or not say, this is about getting your relationship with food on track so ignore unhelpful comments.

I admire you ladies, and as I get closer to surgery, or maybe even after having it, maybe I can do what you have done. I just have a LOT of nay-sayers in my life...and it always seems that the ones AGAINST what you want to do are so much more vocal and opinionated than the supportive ones.

Specifically my MIL and a few coworkers. I work with a department full of men (men talk smack SO MUCH more than women!!!) and I have been witness on more than one occassion to my MIL as well as a few of the guys I work with speaking negatively about other people who have had WLS. I can count on one hand the people that would be negative about the surgery, but it's those people who are actively in my life and that I cannot get away from, that are making me NOT want to share my surgery with anyone.

I am sure that 95% of every, single person in my life would be supportive, but it's that 5% that make me cringe when I think of what will come out of their mouths.

I may change my mind as I get a surgery date, and hearing that you ladies have had no problems with people knowing make me feel better about the situation, should I decide to share. thank you for your stories!

[Jenny12 361]

I've pretty much told everyone. The only slightly negative comments I have received were pre-op from my parents, and it was just out of concern for my well-being as this is a pretty serious surgery. I don't think it is something to hide. You may even motivate someone else who is struggling with their weight to start researching the same route you took. I don't get the "easy way out" comments at all. Most people are just curious and comment that it takes a lot of courage to do something like this. But if I had chosen to not tell anyone, I could of. I am not losing weight so fast that it is suspicious of surgery or anything. I think I'm losing at a pretty "normal person" pace.