am I being naive? ?

[SkinnyMalink 44]

The first person I told was my physician. He had such a negative reaction...

I had the same experience.

The first person I told that I was thinking about the surgery was my orthopedic surgeon, the same man who had been telling me every month for over a year to lose weight in order to remove some of the pressure on my bad knee. His reaction? "What, are you crazy?" No kidding.

I had such a long-standing relationship with him that I decided not to find another doctor but to try and understand what his concerns were about the operation. He explained that as a doctor it seemed crazy to him to remove a healthy and essential organ from anyone other than a corpse during an autopsy. That was more than two years ago. Based on my results, he is now a very big fan of the operation and recommends it to all his overweight and obese patients.

Part of my doctor's negative reaction was based on the fact that I was not morbidly obese at the time of the operation. He felt that I had given up too quickly on dieting. If I hadn't had physical complications from the weight, I would have had difficulty finding a US surgeon to perform the operation. I actually gained a few more pounds deliberately to push myself from a BMI of 34 to just over 35 in order to qualify medically after the first surgeon advised that I didn't quality for a VSG but that he could give me the gastric band instead (and I knew that I didn’t want that). Unfortunately, exercise was not an option because of a serious knee injury. I went from being a trophy winning athlete to becoming an invalid overnight and I couldn't adjust to that mentally. The more depressed I got, the more I ate and the fatter I got, the more depressed I got. It was a vicious cycle. Seventy-eight pounds and one knee surgery later, I am no longer in pain most of the time and am able to walk slowly.

Based on my orthopedic surgeon's reaction, I decided to tell no one except a few select members of the immediate family (and even that I now regret). I figured if an educated man had trouble understanding my decision than what chance did I have of regular people understanding it? Unlike others, I do care what other people think, especially if I have to work and deal with them every day.

Because I was about 65-70 pounds overweight when I had the surgery, only my initial weight loss of 35 pounds was immediately noticeable. As I lost the rest of the weight, no one seemed to notice--at last no one made any comments. Everyone assumed that the weight I lost was because of dieting and that's how I left it (I had my surgery during my summer vacation, so I never missed any time from work).

Weight loss surgery patients need to do what is in their best interest and what makes them most comfortable. Truth is I feel more comfortable telling restaurant managers, strangers I will never see again, about my surgery when asked why I hardly touched my meal than I would telling anyone I work with. The guys at work are not exactly what you'd call the touchy-feely types and I would catch a lot of crap from them over the fact that I took "the easy way out". I don't need that. I still catch grief from my wife's sister and her husband every time we get together for the holidays. "You're too thin now. That doctor should be sued for giving you the operation. You just should have cut back on the cake and ice cream".

In the end, it's not really anyone's business but mine. I wouldn't go around volunteering that I had a vasectomy or Tummy Tuck either (not that I had these, I'm just saying).

Everyone's situation is different. I have a strong feeling that people who are morbidly obese and super obese (BMIs over 40 and 50) before the surgery will receive a lot more understanding, encouragement, and support than those who enter the operation with BMIs under 40. Most people today struggle with their weight and may become threatened if they hear about your surgery and didn't think you were "that fat" to begin with. It's a lot easier for overweight people to call you crazy than to start asking themselves what they plan to do about their own weight problem.

Just use your best judgment and do what's best for you.

[Lyrakl 15]

I'm very selective about who I volunteer the information to. I told my family AFTER I had the surgery because I didn't want them stressing about my safety beforehand, and I told some of my friends who I knew would be supportive. I planned on shouting it from the rooftops after I had the surgery, but instinctively I've been very guarded. I've had a difficult time with recovery and I don't want to share that. Maybe in a few months when I'm feeling better and can say with certainty that I'm glad I did it, but until then I'm not going to volunteer it.

[rmeofone 43]

People judge others based upon their own beliefs...I made the decision for me!

[Dallasgal 42]

I just started this process in January and am halfway through the 6 month supervised diet. I've told my family, friends and co-workers. It's definitely a personal choice. I have very supportive people around me who know how much I've struggled with my weight most my life so everyone is excited for me. Plus, it helps keep me in check with them knowing on days I want to slip back into my old eating habits.

[TheCurvyJones 721]

I only told a few people. I wanted support but didn't want to feel like I was on display. If I told you how many times just the few people that know ask me 'so how much weight have you lost' in a day, you'd be so annoyed. Especially since I am a slow loser and lose far more inches than pounds in a given month. Plus, word travels and people gossip and it's MY NEWS to give.

[cerenatee 90]

I'm telling the people I really know. I would feel like such a fraud telling people it's diet and exercise when diet and exercise didn't work for me. It would be giving false hope to other people that are trying to lose weight. Oh, cerenatee did it through diet and exercise so I can to, or even worse, so you can too. Ugghhh. If diet and exercise worked I wouldn't need the surgery.

But other people feel it's their personal business and that's fine too. I just can't do it.

[valerie99 4]

I only told close friends and immediate family until right before surgery. I carefully researched and was confident in my decision, but still a bit scared and didn't want to hear any negativity or have to constantly explain my reasons to everyone. I was afraid some would try to talk me out of it, and might even succeed in scaring me out of it. Actually 4 days before surgery, I told a coworker and she told me such horrible stories about the surgery and surgeon I was almost in tears. If I'd been hearing that for months before surgery, it just might've scared me into not doing it. Now that is done, I'm ready to tell the world! So happy that I made this decision and went through with it!

[aquitenonnymouse 206]

No more secrets no shame

This! This, this, this this-ity, this this! Exactly where I am.