Scheduled... but questioning...

[madeformore 25]

Hi everyone,

I've been looking at VST for a few weeks now - but just created a profile last night.

I am posting this in the Christian Sleevers forum.

I have been approved and scheduled for surgery - I'm happy about that but still questioning whether surgery is right for me. I've been working on the emotional issues that have landed me where I am and I have made a lot of progress, emotional progress - not so much weight loss progress.

I've learned that there is a reason for the journies we have to take toward healing. I want to lose wieght so I can be the kind of mom I want to be for my two young children.

I'm wondering if having the surgery will change the journey God has intended for me.

Any post op Christian sleevers care to share your experience? Are you glad you had your surgery?

It occured to me this morning that maybe instead of looking at surgery as a 'short cut', I should be looking at it as a re-start - an opportunity to start over with food and bring God into the re-start with me and looking to Him to help me establish a healthy relationship with food.< /p>

Thanks for your input!

[tryingTeresa 17]

Hi Madeforme.

I'm a mom of 2 (Ages 10 & 6), my biggest worry is that I can't be (I am not being) the mom & wife that God wants me to be because of the way I feel, becasue of my relationship to food. I don't feel like I am a bad mom or wife, just that without this extra weight I wouldn't be tired & therefore grumpy), I wouldn't be so self-consciencous therefore not always wanting to go places becasue I feel as if I look horrible. I wouldn't be teaching my kids some of my horrible habits.

I too have had doubts - biggest one being "Have I trusted God enough" with the weight issue - is surgery a cope out. Of course I've tried different Christian weight loss support/bible study and bookgroups, never once did I complete one though. So although I pray & pray about weight issues, I've never had the strength to say no to overindulgence with food for any significiant time. I worry that I didn't truly lay my struggles in front of God & trust him to make me strong. I'm guilty of gluttony, I'm guilty of seving the false god of food & I'm hoping this surgery is a tool in making me spiritually stronger!

As far wondering if having the surgery will change the journey God has intended for me. Before we were born God knew we were going to have these struggles, he knew we were going to be having this surgery. What's comforting is that even if he wanted us to make a different choice, he still loves us. I believe if we keep having faith & keep giving him the credit due for ever success he allows, this struggle (& hopefully triumph) will do nothing but glorify Jesus & put us on the right path he has planned for us all along.

Noticed we have the same surgery date. I'll be praying for you.

[madeformore 25]

Teresa!

You have made my week! Thank you for your reply - I so appreciate it, I really can't tell you.

I can't believe our surgery data is the same! That is amazing!

Thank you for sharing with me. In the last two years I've been doing a lot to work on my 'issues' and I've learned that, for me, my extra weight is a direct result of pain that I have not dealt with in my life.

That pain has cause me to seek out comfort - and for me, from the time I was a young child, I found my comfort in food. As an adult and a growing Christian, I know that I need to turn to God for the comfort I need, but with those bad habits established so young, it is easier said than done.

I feel like I am at a new place with food after all this emotional work I have been doing and sometimes I feel like maybe I should try again to address my weight issues and lay it all out before God and seek Him.

But, I'm starting to look at the surgery as a 're-start' a chance to start my relationship with food over and this time doing it with God. As another friend on VST reminded me, God is constant, but I never will be. I have to God to God for comfort and view food only as fuel for my body.

Well! I am going to send you a personal message!

I am so glad you responded! I look forward to getting to know you better and going through recovery 'together'!

[madeformore 25]

I just wanted to come back and post an update. Only one person replied, but a few people have looked at it...

My surgery was scheduled for May 7. I really never felt that I 'should' or 'should not' have the surgery. I went to all the appointments, did well on the six week pre-op diet my doctor required, and did everything else I was supposed to do.

I went in for my surgery appointment. Everything went really fast once I arrived, and I was glad for that. Next thing I know I'm waking up from anesthesia, very grateful that I made it through the surgery.

A few minutes later my husband was telling me that the surgeon did not perform the surgery. On the initial scope he found that my stomach was too red and inflamed and he told my husband that could prevent proper healing, so he had to call off the proceedure. A biopsy later confirmed gastritis. (I'm glad the surgeon made the decision he did. It might be difficult for me, but I would rather that he end the proceedure than proceed and have complications.)

He had seen redness on my initial scope and put me on prilosec, but it still didn't work out. I think the stress and anxiety I had prior to the surgery caused the inflamation.

At first I was happy I didn't have the surgery but then I realized I would have to go back into decision making mode about what to do now. That was hard and depressing for about a week.

Now I have a plan and an accountability partner.

I might still end up having the surgery once the gastritis has gone away... or I may not... I don't know, yet... But either way my main question - After working on a lot of my emotional issues that have gotten me into the position of 'needing' surgery, could I do it now without the surgery - will be answered. I'm thankful for that.

Best wishes to everyone!

[allison911 4]

God bless you for following your faith and new journey to a healthier you

[awifeinmichigan 233]

I just wanted to come back and post an update. Only one person replied, but a few people have looked at it...

My surgery was scheduled for May 7. I really never felt that I 'should' or 'should not' have the surgery. I went to all the appointments, did well on the six week pre-op diet my doctor required, and did everything else I was supposed to do.

I went in for my surgery appointment. Everything went really fast once I arrived, and I was glad for that. Next thing I know I'm waking up from anesthesia, very grateful that I made it through the surgery.

A few minutes later my husband was telling me that the surgeon did not perform the surgery. On the initial scope he found that my stomach was too red and inflamed and he told my husband that could prevent proper healing, so he had to call off the proceedure. A biopsy later confirmed gastritis. (I'm glad the surgeon made the decision he did. It might be difficult for me, but I would rather that he end the proceedure than proceed and have complications.)

He had seen redness on my initial scope and put me on prilosec, but it still didn't work out. I think the stress and anxiety I had prior to the surgery caused the inflamation.

At first I was happy I didn't have the surgery but then I realized I would have to go back into decision making mode about what to do now. That was hard and depressing for about a week.

Now I have a plan and an accountability partner.

I might still end up having the surgery once the gastritis has gone away... or I may not... I don't know, yet... But either way my main question - After working on a lot of my emotional issues that have gotten me into the position of 'needing' surgery, could I do it now without the surgery - will be answered. I'm thankful for that.

Best wishes to everyone!

Best wishes to you also. God has a reason for every situation! I will keep you in my prayers.

[francie348 7]

Hi, just now read your post and reply. I don't see that you've had surgery yet, or tried again after the first attempt. I'm praying for you that you'll make the right decision for you. I was scared up to the second the mask went over my face...to the moment I was waking up from the surgery and wondering what in the world I had just done to myself. 51 pounds later I can't believe I waited as long as I did. It's a huge decision to make and even though I had made peace with myself that the outcome was in God's hands, I was still questioning my decision and confusion as to why I couldn't just "do this on my own". Now that I'm almost two months out I realize the damage I had done to my stomach and the reason it was almost impossible to maintain any amount of weight-loss I was able to achieve without surgery. Hang in there!