Bizarre trend?

[pianomom 34]

The sleeve was the best decision I have ever made! I am a slow loser and sometimes I wish I could ramp up the weight loss but since when have I ever lost this much in 3 months (42 pounds since surgery, 62 pounds total since I started the journey)? I feel so much better and am actually able to exercise at the gym and I find myself just stepping up a curb, getting rid of my seat belt extender and cleaning out my closet 3 times since January! I think one of the most important things to keep you from regretting the decision is to follow your surgeon's instructions exactly. That prevents so many issues.

[WorkItOutWoman 185]

I'm ashamed but I have been judging people. I went to a seminar not knowing anything about VSG and was just there for information about lap band. I came away with a lot of information about VSG although the surgeon really seemed to be pushing bypass as the gold standard. I found this board the day after my initial surgical consult and was here almost daily getting information about the sleeve during my six month preop phase. I can see from the boards and the kinds of questions that come up many people do zero independent research on surgery before having it. I go insane when people say I ate 6 oz of this or that at 2-3 weeks out. Just because you can does not mean you should. Whew now I feel better and can go back to my silent disapproval

[ca71 3]

Is it just me' date=' or has anyone else noticed the huge amount of people that "regret" this surgery?

I mean extreme regret? Not just the first couple of days of "**** this hurts what did I do" kind of stuff..

What gives? Why?[/quote']

I had surgery September 10,2012 I went through the most horrible regret. It lasted for about four months. I cried, i stayed in my room for days, I wouldn't talk to anyone. I finally realized that i made the right choice. I look great , i feel great and my health has taken a 180. Now I have no regret what so ever. My Dr. Told me that what I was feeling is completely normal.

[LI Gemini NY 607]

I noticed all the regret posts too but they seem to be posted my people who are a few days to weeks post op. I think it's mostly psychosocial. It's a huge thing. Humans aren't typically good with change and a lot will change. Change is hard! I am so grateful to be going through this with support (partner having surgery as well). Having support is significant for me. Sometimes you just have have to talk it out loud...

[RaqRodriguez7 10]

I have to admit, I am one of those who regrets it. I liked who I was and the life I had but I did it because it seemed like an easy way to lose weight. Now I realize I wasn't emotionally or mentally ready for the drastic changes that are now permanent.

[carstanger 346]

Anyone who thinks this is easy, hasn't researched. It is one of the hardest things I've done except for childbirth!! LOL! Anyway, yes, there are some days that I would love to eat slider foods, butI am determined to be successful. I'm already off many of my meds, down 57 pounds, and my blood pressure in usually normal. No Naisds and I'm practicing for a 5K to run in May at the age of 66. I'm proud of my progress. My sister and brother don't acknowledge it but that is ok. I have the support of my husband and friends!!!

[SpaceDust 585]

I have to admit, I am one of those who regrets it. I liked who I was and the life I had but I did it because it seemed like an easy way to lose weight. Now I realize I wasn't emotionally or mentally ready for the drastic changes that are now permanent.

I can certainly understand feeling that way, and thank you for sharing honestly. For me, since I'm a type-II diabetic and have other co-morbidities, I've never really looked at it as just an easy way to lose weight - it was a way to reduce or eliminate some health risks that are otherwise a daily battle. Sure, I'm looking forward to losing weight, and I think I'll have more confidence about my looks afterward, but it is secondary to my health concerns, and I hope that will carry me through when the time comes!

[No game 14,437]

I had surgery September 10' date='2012 I went through the most horrible regret. It lasted for about four months. I cried, i stayed in my room for days, I wouldn't talk to anyone. I finally realized that i made the right choice. I look great , i feel great and my health has taken a 180. Now I have no regret what so ever. My Dr. Told me that what I was feeling is completely normal.[/quote']

I'm glad to read that you did eventually come to terms with your new life. Breaking the cycle of over eating is a hard thing to do.. Even though when I signed up for this surgery I told myself I was essentially doing it to take my "free will" away for a while. It did not make it easier when I was in a battle about wanting to eat "normally" and my stomach was not able to anymore..I had hard moments and have gone through times that I wished I could of over eaten like I did before.

I think we all do go through rough days.

[buplee 556]

I'll say this over and over again. I think everyone in process to have WLS should be required to undergo at least 5-10 sessions with a licensed psychotherapist to work out their addiction or dare I say obsession with food. My regrets were that I waited so long and cheated my wife and family of a healthy husband and father. I do no regret that I can not go to an all you can eat buffet. I do not have to have a side of beef or half a hog to be social and accepted by my friends and family. I come from a southern family and my wife's family is from the Caribbean and I can socialize without having fourths and fifths to show enjoyment of the meal. I came to terms with my food issues through talk therapy. I hope others would try this to come to grip with how food has controlled our lives.

[johnlatte 1,232]

I'll say this over and over again. I think everyone in process to have WLS should be required to undergo at least 5-10 sessions with a licensed psychotherapist to work out their addiction or dare I say obsession with food. My regrets were that I waited so long and cheated my wife and family of a healthy husband and father. I do no regret that I can not go to an all you can eat buffet. I do not have to have a side of beef or half a hog to be social and accepted by my friends and family. I come from a southern family and my wife's family is from the Caribbean and I can socialize without having fourths and fifths to show enjoyment of the meal. I came to terms with my food issues through talk therapy. I hope others would try this to come to grip with how food has controlled our lives.

I like a lot of what you say here. I don't know that therapy should be required, but I think a lot of us really could use some help reconciling our relationships with food and eating. If you read post after post about the mourning of not being able to eat certain foods or how their lives are going to dramatically change socially, you have to wonder. I did have two really good, in-depth sessions with a therapist, pre-op and she gave me some good insight. I've also had a couple of other session of therapy in the past that have helped this time as well. Being able to fully understand the relationship between our eating habits and our obesity and how to recognize specific patterns of behavior and deal with those patterns are the key to ensuring a successful outcome from the surgery. I think ultimately the best way to fully understand the situation is to work with someone that specializes in habitual eating and eating disorders. I know that many will disagree and feel that they can handle the situation solo, but I know from my own experiences with dependency it brings a lot of clarity, a lot sooner, when you are working with someone.

[lsereno 2,525]

I don't think there are a lot more people with regrets. I think they are speaking up more because one got the nerve to really speak out. And we don't hear from the ones that have regained all their weight or never got remotely close to goal and quit coming here.

IMO, those with regrets should speak out so others have an idea of issues they may need to work on pre-op or post-op. When I first starting reading VST, Tiffy-kins was on here all the time. She had a terrible post-op experience, with a leak and having to get rid of her gallbladder, but I saw she got over those things and I thought, well if that happens to me, I can get over it too. I also read threads about people not getting to goal and those that did get to goal so I knew what I had to do if I wanted to get to goal and stay there. And I read the threads about people who became addicted to alcohol or drugs. After I started drinking again when I got close to goal, I set a limit on how often and how much I drink to avoid those issues.

I think we all have issues with food or we wouldn't have got overweight to start with. And it's important to work on those issues because no matter how tight the restriction, at some point in the future, enough capacity for weight regain will return.

Of course, that's just my opinion. Your mileage may vary.

Lynda

[SpaceDust 585]

I respectfully disagree, buplee. I do not believe that some arbitrary number of psychotherapy appointments should EVER be required. Not every person with a food issue needs therapy. In some cases, it's knowledge they need, or some support while they assert their own discipline (i.e., the 6 month medically supervised diet). Some people have physical issues which exacerbate their weight gain. Some people just let themselves go because of other stressors in their lives, and by the time they started taking care of themselves again, they'd already dug themselves into a deep hole.

I do agree with the psych evaluation that most of us have had to go through. If problems are uncovered at that time, of course it would be wise to get them fixed before they proceed into weight loss, but I don't believe that dictating that you will have 5 or 10 sessions is realistic. Some people can work through minor issues very quickly. Others may need to go longer. Either way, that should be something between the patient and their medical team to decide, and should not be an arbitrary dictation from on high.

[buplee 556]

I don't think there are a lot more people with regrets. I think they are speaking up more because one got the nerve to really speak out. And we don't hear from the ones that have regained all their weight or never got remotely close to goal and quit coming here.

IMO' date=' those with regrets should speak out so others have an idea of issues they may need to work on pre-op or post-op. When I first starting reading VST, Tiffy-kins was on here all the time. She had a terrible post-op experience, with a leak and having to get rid of her gallbladder, but I saw she got over those things and I thought, well if that happens to me, I can get over it too. I also read threads about people not getting to goal and those that did get to goal so I knew what I had to do if I wanted to get to goal and stay there. And I read the threads about people who became addicted to alcohol or drugs. After I started drinking again when I got close to goal, I set a limit on how often and how much I drink to avoid those issues.

I think we all have issues with food or we wouldn't have got overweight to start with. And it's important to work on those issues because no matter how tight the restriction, at some point in the future, enough capacity for weight regain will return.

Of course, that's just my opinion. Your mileage may vary.

Lynda[/quote']

I think people speaking out more is accurate but there are several threads were people are lamenting about having surgery. I have read comments like " I know my eating habits were unhealthy but I miss them". Others stated that they have intentionally tried to eat unhealthy items but could not finish the food and were angry about it. I was over 300lbs because of cleaning my plate, and finishing food on the plate of my family because I didn't want it to go to waste. There are a lot of people who had the surgery that I can't for the life of me understand why. One person even stated that after she reached her goal weight she will still regret being sleeved. I think more emphasis should be put on the psychological aspect of the process and not just the physical clearances. However that is just my two cents.

[buplee 556]

I respectfully disagree' date=' buplee. I do not believe that some arbitrary number of psychotherapy appointments should EVER be required. Not every person with a food issue needs therapy. In some cases, it's knowledge they need, or some support while they assert their own discipline (i.e., the 6 month medically supervised diet). Some people have physical issues which exacerbate their weight gain. Some people just let themselves go because of other stressors in their lives, and by the time they started taking care of themselves again, they'd already dug themselves into a deep hole.

I do agree with the psych evaluation that most of us have had to go through. If problems are uncovered at that time, of course it would be wise to get them fixed before they proceed into weight loss, but I don't believe that dictating that you will have 5 or 10 sessions is realistic. Some people can work through minor issues very quickly. Others may need to go longer. Either way, that should be something between the patient and their medical team to decide, and should not be an arbitrary dictation from on high.[/quote']

Maybe for some people 5-10 sessions may be too much but after reading so many threads about regretting the surgery, that is making me crazy. Yes some people have physical issues like certain medications and in some case a true thyroid issue. However the emotional issues like stressors as you mentioned should be addressed pre and post-op, so regrets can be minimized. I had 4 major surgeries in 5 years including being sleeved, so I know about stressors and physical issues including a strep and staph infection that almost killed me, knee replacement and neurosurgery. However, I had to come to terms with how I ate pre-op and how that would change after surgery through talking it out with a professional.

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

I like a lot of what you say here. I don't know that therapy should be required, but I think a lot of us really could use some help reconciling our relationships with food and eating. If you read post after post about the mourning of not being able to eat certain foods or how their lives are going to dramatically change socially, you have to wonder. I did have two really good, in-depth sessions with a therapist, pre-op and she gave me some good insight. I've also had a couple of other session of therapy in the past that have helped this time as well. Being able to fully understand the relationship between our eating habits and our obesity and how to recognize specific patterns of behavior and deal with those patterns are the key to ensuring a successful outcome from the surgery. I think ultimately the best way to fully understand the situation is to work with someone that specializes in habitual eating and eating disorders. I know that many will disagree and feel that they can handle the situation solo, but I know from my own experiences with dependency it brings a lot of clarity, a lot sooner, when you are working with someone.

I always knew I was an emotional eater, it was easy to say but much harder to truly understand, come to grips with and work on changing. I lurked on this forum about 5 months before joining. I joined the day I decided to have surgery. It was through reading so many honest posts about other's struggles with emotional eating/relationships with food that I feel I gained so much insight. The thing that brought it home was that the posts I was reading were from people who I felt were walking in my shoes. Not once in my 44 years had I verbalized it. It would never had occurred to me to talk to any of the other overweight friends or family I have to share the emotional aspects of my struggle. But, I started to. I stopped using other excuses, and came clean with myself, and anyone who cared to ask me questions about my decision. When I did go for my psych consult, I felt I was able to be very upfront about why obesity had consumed my life. Since, I've been able to talk about it freely and have had so many conversations with my sisters especially about triggers, and what I do now etc. Having the awareness and a safe place to really talk about these things makes all the difference for me. I think one of the hardest things to do is admit when we "fail" or perceive we fail, it is even harder to do it to the masses. I give anyone that has the courage to post about a day when they are struggling all the credit in the world, they knew to turn to the people who would understand. It is those same people who will give you a good swift kick in the as* because they know it is what is needed. Excluding folks who have had complications, I would think the biggest population of regrets would come from folks not fully coming to terms with those underlying issues. I think you hit it on the head John