something apropros Oprah said once--re: "the easy way out"

[haleytrim 244]

Dear Momto6ix,

I compare it to giving an alcoholic a pill that makes them sick in an attempt to stop the self destructive behavior. In my case, my relationship with food is destructive. A vicious cycle that alternately makes me happy then depressed. The Depression is so bad that I have to be on medication so that I can function. The medication makes me not care that I am obese, temporarily, during which time I eat what I want which makes me happy until someone or something (reality) jumps up and bites me in the butt. Just as alcoholism is a disease, so is obesity. The only way to "cure" it is to stop the cycle of depression and lack of self confidence and self esteem and unfortunately, the way to do that is to become what is "accepted" by society as "normal". So, I have put myself through 40 years of experiments and tortures, many of which were in some way or another hazardous to my body. I have done enormous amounts of research in preparation for this change. I am more than prepared to take this "pill" in order to change myself physically, mentally and emotionally. I am also looking forward to the possibility of improving my blood pressure and type II diabetes. I am reminded of the old addage "walk a mile in my shoes".

[Elaine Sunday 26]

Dear momtosix. I am sorry if I appear rude. You say you don't believe anyone NEEDS wls. Your wrong. I was on a diet at the age of one. Yes, that is one. I have struggled with weight all my life. I have tried about every diet out there. Then I became diabetic. 3 drs told me my body has lost the ability to lose weight. I needed to STAY on a diet to maintain. Not to lose. I no longer had that capability. WLS was the ONLY answer and hope out there.

If you have never been more than 30 lbs over weight you do not know what it is to struggle with weightloss. You can not and should not be judgmental of your husband or anyone else who needs to lose weight.

Deciding to have this surgery and going thru all the test has been very dramatic for me. Imagine having your right arm amputated. Well, I had my stomach amputated. 85% of it anyway. That was not easy to deal with. Did I want wls. NO. Did I need it to prevent blindness, dialysis limb amputations? You betcha. Was this the easy way out? NO. Do I like only being able to eat 3 oz of food while others are enjoying a meal? Did I enjoy making my husband a batch of brownies yesterday knowing I can't have any? Try going to the movies and smelling all that pop corn. This has been the biggest sacrifice I have ever done. It is also the hardest thing in my life that I have ever done. (outside of burring my sister.) I needed this surgery to live. I know it was the smartest thing I have done. I hope you never have to go thru this.

[MyKidsMom89 70]

When I first read this I was pissed off and offended- HOW DARE YOU SAY NO ONE NEEDS WLS?? But I kept reading and I think i understand where you are coming from. Of course, if I had only 30 lbs to lose, I wouldn't request, or be approved for, this surgery. But I don't-I need to drop anther 80 lbs to avoid diabetes, heart issues and eliminate the chronic pain from fibromyalgia. I'm tired of waking with neck, shoulder, back, hip, knee and ankle pain. I just had foot surgery and realized if this weight doesn't come off now, it never will. I'm only 51. I want to see grandkids. I want to not worry about whether I'll have a good day or bad day at work--I'm on my feet all day. Weight watchers didn't do the trick, OTC remedies didn't work. And clearly self-control didn't work. Now, I have no real hunger cravings--I can look at pizza, Cheetos, Chinese food--all my faves--and think "meh".

For me, 11/3/14 was my second birthday, and I am delighted that I did this for ME. My husband has been supportive and gets excited every morning when I tell him what the scale says! It's a tool. A drastic one-which is why there are so many hoops to jump through just to be approved. But it's a tool that works, and works for life.