Not sure how to feel

[dfdscott 53]

I know I made the right decision to get sleeved 110%. The problem is that NO ONE in my family including my wife seems to like the idea that I am having it done. I get the "well if you can lose weight on your pre-op diet then why do you need the surgery?" My parents just keep saying that they support my decision although they think its a bad idea. I just don't know what to say anymore. I of course am going through with it and I am scheduled for the 18th of April, I just hate the looks and the comments that I get from my wife and family. I feel like some of my good friends support me more. Ugh. Oh we'll at least it felt good to vent. Thanks everyone for listening.

[No game 14,437]

Sometimes people are just scared of change or they really don't know how to articulate their worries... Try not to let it get to you to much, and know that once they see you safe and getting healthier on the other side, things will get better!

Good luck to you,

Laura

[dfdscott 53]

Thanks Laura. My wife told one of my close friends that she thinks that I am doing it to find someone else. Truth is she's perfect to me and I wouldn't want anyone else. Wish there was a magic pill to slap someone into reality sometimes lol.

[No game 14,437]

Let her read what you just wrote! I too love my husband to pieces forever, nothing or no one can or will change that!

[ShrinkingBiker 121]

I got the same sort of resistance from my wife, but as she read up on it she became more supportive. She said she was worried that I would not want her anymore once I am skinny.. I told her that I didn't love her because I was fat, it was because she is who she is. She was also worried about the risks of surgery.

The best advise I could give is to sit down and talk to your wife. Tell her how you feel, why you need it, and that you really need her support.

now this isn't fitting to everyone, but I told my wife to look at my family history. Diabetes, heart issues, obesity and a life that rarely goes past 60... We got married in our early mid 30's and I want to be around to Celebrate our 50th together.

I also told her to look back at all the times I tried to loose weight, and how I would do good for a little while, and then gain it back plus 20. I NEVER expected to be 325+ and I don't want to keep this up and in a few years say how did I hit 400?!?! It's the time to do it.. I'm otherwise healthy, and while things could go wrong in the surgery, things WILL go wrong if I don't have it.. It's just a ticking time bomb.

She agreed and is the most supportive person I have for this. She always is, this just scared her and I am sure it scares any spouse.

[Bunnydee 40]

I can tell you that is exactly what is going through her head. But you jut reassure her that it will be so much better and you both will be able to do alot more fun stuff together and feel good. It is a scary thing to have your loved one make a big change. I am sure everything will be fine. Good luck to you!

[dfdscott 53]

Thanks

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

NO ONE in my family, wife too like the idea that I am havingWLS done. "well if you can lose weight on your pre-op diet then why do you need the surgery?"

dfdscott

glad you are not going to change your mind about having surgery - keep that positive mindset

your determination is great - good for you!!!!

having WLS is wonderful - you will feel so healthy and happy

glad your parents and wife are finally trying to be on board

the "thing" about "you can loose weight on your pre-op, so just do this on your own".........

if a person has never been in your/our shoes - they couldn't possibly understand how hard/impossible it is for "us" to keep the weight off

we've all yo yo'd - lost. then regained

we are abusing our body with all the fluctuations up and down with our weight

when someone is "concerned" or comments in a negative way - try to ignore their thought

thank them for their concern - but tell them you have made up your mind- end of sentence - then try and change the subject

i know "its" easier said than done - give it a try though

thats what i did with a few people - "they" still weren't happy - they might have "discussed" bad things behing my back - oh well

but............i decided i had to do this for myself - didn't want to listen to any negative!!

hope you have your DOS soon

good luck

speedy recovery

good luck with surgery

110% speedy recovery

[dfdscott 53]

April 16th is showtime. Thanks for the encouragement.