Stop having so many damn kids; population control, anyone?

[Carlene 12]

I am not at all bitter, and if you think I am "unpleasant" because I don't believe there is EVER a situation that makes it okay for a 12 year old to have sex, then I'm sorry you feel that way, but I just don't.

I have nothing against large families. I had only one, much older sibling and very few cousins. I always wished I had grown up in a large family.

I was a widow with 4 very young children when I married a man with 2 daughters. They were very close in age - not more than 2 years between any of them - and they all lived with us. People would frequently ask us, "Are all these children yours?" I never could figure out why they thought we would take 6 kids out to dinner if they weren't ours!

[green 6]

Though it seems that you, your 14 year old mate, and your 12 year old sister have beaten the odds by going on to have sucessful marriages and to raise your children happily it is not generally considered to be a wise move to start having children at such a young age and indeed there are laws against children becoming sexually active before they reach a certain age. Before this age they are considered to be minors and these laws are in place in order to protect them and to allow them to continue to mature both physically and intellectually without having to deal with the additional stresses that starting their own families will bring.

These laws are relatively recent constructs. In other eras people did get married and started having children much younger than they do now but times are different now and life is much more complicated. When families were working a farm little formal education was needed and much of what boys and girls needed to know was learned by working alongside the older folk. Now, however, the baseline of education required to get by is highschool and even then that is often not enough; college, university, technical training, or an apprenticeship is the next step. It is difficult to do this when you have babies and a relationship and no money.

I believe that you and your sister have beaten the odds because you were lucky that you do have a large and supportive family. They were able to help you out by caring for your babies whenever you needed a break, and in the case of your 12 year old sister, drive her and the baby to the doctor, to the mall, and teach her how to look after an infant. It sounds as though you come from a wonderful family and that you have a wonderful family of your own.

If some of us sound a little shocked and judgemental it is because both your husband and your sister were minors at the time when they started their families and for most young people this would have ended up poorly, not only for themselves, but for their babies as well.

[Sunta 5]

I think those who decide not to have

a large family and can afford it are selfish people.

Remind me not to copy your carbon footprint.

[anonemouse 1]

Robin, I mean this in the kindest way possible, so believe me when I say that I am not intending to insult you. That said, are you joking with us? If not, you aren't exactly being the best spokesperson for large families.

[FunnyDuddies 6]

Rob and I always wanted a large family. When finances, business, and lack of insurance became an issue we shut down the baby making factory and started using birth control. Lately now that everything has settled down and we are secure again we have decided to continue our Quest for a larger family. We have two wonderful kids now, and plan on having at least a total of 4, possibly 5. our original intent long ago was for 8. I think I am too old for that now.

I think that it is very important for people who have children to focus on what their current situation and see if it is the right time. Planning for a large family is a huge undertaking. One or two doesn't really dent the pocketbook. But 5 or 6 really does. lol

[anonemouse 1]

One or two doesn't really dent the pocketbook. But 5 or 6 really does. lol

That's one of my basic objections to having an extremely large family (I'm talking 7+ kids, generally). I don't really have objections to someone having as many kids as they want as long as they can afford to take care of them and can give them the time and attention that each child needs. But that's the kicker. Like my mom always warned me, babies are expensive. To me, it would be very difficult to afford a whole lot of kids on the average couple's salary. And honestly, people who make higher than average salaries generally put lots of time and effort into making that salary. So, even if they had the money for a dozen kids, would most of them really have the time to devote to them? Factor in that either one parent would be staying home to care for all of them or that the kids would all have to be shipped off to a day-time care-giver, and they would either be surviving on one income or facing massive bills for daycare.

[BJean 16]

What I want to know is do you pronounce Zoe with a long O or a long E?

[green 6]

What I want to know is do you pronounce Zoe with a long O or a long E?

Um, like glow-ee, grrlfiend. Glow Ee Green is a grrl fiend, too, eh. Haha.:clap2:

[BJean 16]

Just as I thought. Years ago I knew a girl by the name of Zoe and she pronounced it with a long O. I never could get used to it.

[rrod0991 0]

I am sorry if my opinion has offended anyone but this is me.I love my large family ad had I not just had a hysterectomy my husband and I would have had more children. We take care of them on our own and ask for help from no one. We both work full time and can afford to gve them what they need. One of us is always home with them to help with homework or solve a problem. our older children are not responsible for the younger ones and only take them with if they want to.My son is the most respectful young man you will ever meet. He is 15 and will seat me in a chair or open a door for me. He always allows the first to go before himself at anything. He knows that a woman does not get hit for any reason and is the first out the door if his sister comes in and says someone is picking on them. My daughters know that there is no reason for them to go through what their father and I have gone through. Right now I have one of my daughters lying on the couch behind me talking to me and asking me if I have had my pain pills because I look pale and aksing me if I am in pain. I love interacting with them and wish there were more of them. My family is everything to me. There is always enough time and you can always stop what you are doing to take care of them. I am 4 days post op for my hysterectomy and I have my little helpers taking care of me and loving it because they know I am there for them.

I just asked Eliana, my 6 year old , if she likes taking care of me and she said, " I like taking care of you because you take care of me and I love you and besides it's fun to be the mom for a minute"

I just asked MaryElizabeth, my 5 year old, if she liked taking care of Mommy and she said "Yes because you are beautiful and I want you to be beautiful once you are sick".

Was I wrong to have my children so young. My answer is yes. I was way to young to have my children when I did but who do I give back? I made a mastake and have payed for it , I had no freedom to be a child because I had my son at such a young age but he is the most loving and responsible person I know, and I did it on my own with my husband. We have both been to school to train for what we wanted to do. I worked to put Jose through culinary school and now he is a Chef and he worked to put me through school and now I work for Kaiser. We did this with no help from our parents and we have raised our family with no help from our family. I in no way endoese young parenthood and tell my own children to wait until they have their carreers in the works and own their own homes.

I just wanted to make myself clear. Thank you for giving me the opportunity

[BJean 16]

rrod: how lucky you are to have so many sweet nurses to take care of you.

My DH's niece had a little boy when she was 15. Just barely 15. She had a horrible home life. She and her boyfriend got married. Frankly I was relieved that she found a way to move out of that house! They are still together, and just had a baby girl. They have been married 7 years. Their daughter is 4 months old and she just found out that she is pregnant again. She is thrilled. The family isn't, but none of them have done much to help her.

She finished high school, against all odds, worked in a retirement home and put herself through nursing school. Her husband has a habit of getting tired of any good job that he's ever had. And she is the stable one in their relationship. They love each other and they are crazy about their children. Sure they've had some ups and downs, but what marriage hasn't?

I have the utmost respect for her and what she has accomplished in her young life. She is a great mother and by all rights, if she weren't so smart and loving, she could be an abuser like her father. As I said, I respect her very much and she deserves our respect more than any of the other kids in the family who have had everything they ever wanted and still don't have their acts together.

[rrod0991 0]

Thank you , I do have good nurses. I am glad your niece is doing well fr herself. It is not easy and we tell our children not to make the same mistakes we did. Wait until the graduate from collage to get married and gave children. My husband tells our girls that if a man truly loves them he will wait until they are ready. Don't fall for the guy saying he loves them. We are doing our best. That is all I can ask for. I want m children to be happy, healthy, productive Americans.

[harlito 0]

People should be able to have as many kids as they want as long as they can support them. As far as dwindling resources that is nothing but bunk. Even with the population on the globe as it stands we still have way more then enough food to feed everybody. It's not the problem withthe resources it is a problem with distribution and in many cases culture.

Africans have many kids to help them take care of the village and the elders and if a drought occurs then they are in trouble.

Americans have just as many reasons for having alot of kids as they do kids but if a drought occurs in America we just walk or drive to the nearest store to get food.

[Lee4love1 0]

What the deal on the "Baby Momma Drama"---I've met to many Women--young and old--kids everywhere.

Here's some of the conversations-Me: "May I ask you--where the Daddy of your children? her:-One is not around, the other is in prison for drug dealing, my third childs Daddy pays support, but never comes to them and the other is--he lives 2 blocks away. But he is crazy and always coming by or driving by....

You know I am looking down at my feet---wondering why I didn't wear my nike running shoes...I am like in my head--"DAMN-!!!

But--I am a single Daddy mnyself--but thank God my kids have the same Mom. A Dead-beat Mom until she was threatened with jail--if she didn't pay support.

What's with the Women---does anyone use condoms or birth control anymore?

[BJean 16]

What's the matter, didn't your children's momma use birth control?