Stop having so many damn kids; population control, anyone?

[BJean 16]

Elena I disagree. I believe that the love you feel for your children is explainable. Besides, some people do not have that unexplainable love for their children that you say you have.

Why don't we just let people post whatever they would like instead of telling them that they should only post if they fulfill certain criteria. You may have never felt that you didn't want children so how can you possibly know what it means to someone else?

This is an open forum. It isn't a coffee klatch where we're all just dying to get along and impress each other. We're bound to have differing opinions and those differences are what make the world a fascinating place!

[green 6]

Elena I disagree. I believe that the love you feel for your children is explainable. Besides, some people do not have that unexplainable love for their children that you say you have.

Why don't we just let people post whatever they would like instead of telling them that they should only post if they fulfill certain criteria. You may have never felt that you didn't want children so how can you possibly know what it means to someone else?

This is an open forum. It isn't a coffee klatch where we're all just dying to get along and impress each other. We're bound to have differing opinions and those differences are what make the world a fascinating place!

Right on, sister BJean! Thank you for expressing this so well.

[BJean 16]

Yer dern tootin', Green!

[katt 0]

In my effort to become more active on this board and quit lurking, I'm going to do something I typically don't do and dive right in. I have one child that I love desperately, although I really don't much care for children. My DD, on the other hand, had 6 and she and my SIL are trying to adopt another whole family. I realize that compared to 17, six is not very many but for me it's a bunch. They are very fundamentalist and she does home school. They are beautiful, bright, healthy, happy, well-adjusted kids. Oldest is 17. Youngest 5. Incredible family if I do say so myself. My DD is an RN although she is no longer employed outside the home. My SIL earns $12.00/hr max. They live in a 1600 sq. ft. house. They live hand to mouth but require no public assistance. I both love and admire them. Katt

[BJean 16]

katt: Thanks for joining in and telling a bit of your story. Your daughter sounds like a phenominal woman. I have never understood how some people are able to have and manage large families so well. I was one of those parents who freaked out everytime the kids got a splinter. Now that they are grown and healthy, I realize how tense I was all the time and how that contributed to my not enjoying being around kids that much. I love my own with all my heart and soul, but I don't always understand other peoples' kids and don't always enjoy being around them. I guess it's because I feel so responsible for them and I'm worried they'll get physically hurt or intellectually damaged by something I have the ability to prevent.

People who have large, happy families don't seem to be uptight at all. They don't freak out when they're low on food, they just manage to stretch it with more Water in the Beans. They expect all the older ones to pitch in and help the younger ones. I never put that responsibility on my older child because I thought it wasn't fair. But as it turns out, I wasn't doing him any favors. It is good for children to learn how to take care of each other and they learn a great deal in the process. (I was the youngest of four and was never around small children.)

My DH was the oldest of 6 and when we got married he didn't want to have children. I eventually talked him into having just one (I already had a son from a previous marriage that he had adopted). She's awesome and we're so glad we did have her. But neither of us ever wanted more kids and I'm not even one of those doting grandmothers that we all admire. I love my grandchildren, but I raised mine and it was an all consuming job that I am way over.

[green 6]

I was the oldest of 3 kids and the only girl. I wasn't interested in girly things, however, and didn't want dolls and wasn't interested in playing house. I had a cowboy hat, a set of toy guns, Mini-Brix, and some toy cars, and those were the toys that I liked to play with. I mostly played with boys and they let me play with them because I was bigger and stronger than they were. I was a tomboy.

As an adult I have never found children all that interesting to be around for any length of time, particularly very young children. This is because we don't have very much in common and I find that the younger ones are often quite chaotic in their thought processes. I also find babies entirely unnerving because they don't really don't do anything at all except make strange faces, breathe heavily, wriggle, make messes in their diapers, drool, sleep, and cry. Though I am aware that most people adore babies I fail to see their charm. They seem like nothing more than labour intensive items to me.

It is obvious that I am not at all maternal and would make a lousy mother. At the same time I feel the world would be a sadder place if it were only populated by adults, especially adults like myself. It sure is fun to see the kids playing on my street or to go to a casual gathering and see a clutch of children having fun. I even enjoy talking to kids, just not for very long is all. It is for this reason that I am always pleased to hear about folks like katt's daughter and son-in-law. It is always a wonderful thing when responsible couples who do love and want children are able to have them. The parents are lucky, their children even luckier. It is sad when such folks are unable to have kids and sadder still when irresponsible and careless people do have them.

[katt 0]

BJean you always say things so well. Katt

[BJean 16]

Thanks, Katt. That was very nice of you!

[anonemouse 1]

You certainly have the right to put your two cents, what I said was that you are most definitely no expert on the subject because you don't know what being a mother is, the love for your child is by far different than the love that you may feel for anybody else, it's unexplainable....and you dear have not had the opportunity of feeling that way and obviously will never feel it....

I agree with some of your points, however, why don't we leave them up to the potential parents, I will certainly not leave it up to you....again, you are no expert on the matter....

I never said I was an expert. If simply posting about a topic implies that you think you are an expert on it, there wouldn't be very many people posting on this board. And unfortunately, you can't rely on people to think of what's best or what's right. If you could, we wouldn't need any laws. I would love to agree with you, to think that parents would always put the welfare of their children first. But the simple fact is that a lot of parents don't. When the nightly news is filled with stories of parents pouring boiling Water on their children, locking them in closets, even prostituting them, that fact's abundantly clear. And while having more children than you can care for doesn't even begin to approach the level of abuse that I've mentioned, it clearly adversely affects the welfare of that couple's children. And yet there are people out there that continue to do it, just because they want a very large family.

Like I've said before, I have absolutely no problem with people having children that they can care for. If you have the time and money to care for 7 or 8 children, that's wonderful. If you don't, though, it is clearly irresponsible to have 7 or 8 children. You don't have be a parent to see that.

[BJean 16]

Laurend, you're back! How was your vacation??

[anonemouse 1]

Laurend, you're back! How was your vacation??

It was a lot of fun, for the most part. I spent the week in a very small house with too many people, with periodic visits from even more people. It was basically a family reunion, even though a lot of the family couldn't be there. It was my parents, me, my brother and SIL, an uncle and his wife and two daughters, another uncle and his wife, and their three kids, those kids' spouses, and their 5 grandkids. Most of the grandkids were monsters or monsters-in-training, especially one in particular. He's the favored child of the favored child, so he gets away with EVERYTHING. To make matters worse, he's a child actor (actually just got signed to a NYC agent) who thinks he's cuter than he is. He ignored everyone that he couldn't manipulate, got away with kicking one of the other kids in the face, and got away with refusing to speak to his mother and father on the telephone. (They had to go back to Atlanta after a couple of days and left him there with his grandparents. He was the one to suggest that they let him stay there, btw.) The sad part is that he's only 5. I can't imagine what he'll be like when he's older.

[green 6]

The 5 year old brat will likely end up a drug addicted has-been with a reputation in the business as being impossible to work with by the time he is 15. :eek: We will all be reading about him in the Enquirer. :heh: (Psst! What's his name? LOL)

[Sunta 5]

Does anyone on this thread understand the correlation between population and global warming?

[newgirl07 0]

Interesting thread...

Me: Atheist, childless by choice (non-breeder), totally happy.

BTW, there have been studies done that show that the more education you have, the less children you will likely have (generally speaking, of course there's exceptions).

Usually, I adopt a "live & let live" attitude but there are serious ramifications to overpopulation and our planet. I've heard that Leonardo DiCaprio made a documentary about the environmental damage that we've done. It's called "The 11th hour." I don't know if it's out yet but it sounds like it's not a pretty picture.

[Sunta 5]

there are serious ramifications to overpopulation and our planet.

I am thankful that at least one person is able to grasp this fact. This fact is why I started the thread.

Unfortunately it seems that others would rather turn a blind eye and get highly offended at the mere suggestion of responsible childbearing than actually learn something about the real issues facing the planet.

Well, at least their 15 kids can swim in the polar ice caps. The temperature of that big swimming pool will be just about perfect by the time they grow up.