That hurt...

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,146]

So today I weighed in for the 1st time with my pcp. I'm two weeks postop and down 27 lbs. I'm very pleased and plan to wait 3 weeks until my next weigh in to step on the scale.< /p>

I did not hide the fact that I was sleeved not that I went to Mx for surgery from my nearest and dearest. Most were supportive of me. A few questioned my choice of venue, Mexico, but understood why I wanted the Sleeve. Except my BFF. My BFF and I previously found much success with Weight Watchers before (a super awesome program) and then we backslid together. She successfully found her way back to WW success but I couldn't (or wouldn't??) wrap my head around it.

My BFF did not/does not support my choice. When I would attempt to bring up my up and coming surgery she wouldn't acknowledge it. I get the impression, not confirmed, that she thinks I'm cheating or taking the easy way out.

Fast forward to today. My 1st weigh in postop, two weeks later. 27 lbs! Hooray. So motivating. I shared my success with my nearest and dearest. Everyone replied, via text, hooray and congrats. Genuinely happy. Her response, which stung: "Yay surgery."

Am I being sensitive?

Amanda Rae

[bethxxx 304]

She is probably jealous. When you are overweight with a friend then then one of you decides to do something proactive and gain a tool to lose the weight, of course the other one will be jealous. Especially if your losing more quickly then her.

Give her time and space, I certainly wouldn't text we saying how much weight you have lost. I'm going through something similar with my sister and now I know to just never talk about the surgery with her. I just don't bring it up ever around her. I know she is jealous but I would be too if she did this and I was still overweight.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Lovely... Just lovely! No.. SHE WAS BEING INSENSITIVE... Her! Sounds like envy to me. She has no clue how much work you're going to have to put in to this journey.

I am sorry that she reacted this way.. Shame on her! She knew exactly what she was saying

[SpaceDust 585]

You know that she's in the "easy way out" boat, and she responded in that manner.

While I would have hoped she could put that aside to Celebrate your success with you, clearly she's taking this more personally than she should. You didn't make her go have surgery, you chose to do it for yourself. You knew the yo-yo drill was not working for you, and it is actually worse for you than just staying obese, according to some experts. That said, she may be a little jealous (and that much loss that quickly isn't going to change her mind about it being the easy way - she doesn't really understand what you have to go through for that "easy" loss).

My first suggestion that you take her aside and speak with her about how you understand her reservations about this, but you have taken this step after a lot of consideration and research and would really appreciate it if she supported the results, if not the method. I'd also probably let her know that what she's doing is hurtful and drives a wedge in your friendship. From the sounds of things, however, she's not willing to discuss this face to face. Would she read an email, do you think? How about an honest-to-goodness letter on paper?

Meanwhile, yes, I think you're being sensitive, but it's normal and natural to want your nearest and dearest to Celebrate your successes with you. Do your best to let it go if you think she'll come around eventually. If not, maybe you need to reassess if she's really as good a friend as you've believed. If she's still your good friend in every way except with regard to the weight loss, then maybe you'll decide that yes, she is, and that's fair - she's still an overall positive element in your life. But if this has impacted how you interact across the board, is she becoming a negative influence in your life?

[Sassafras 136]

Woah! What a comment!! I felt it and shes not even my friend:( I cant imagine and am sorry she put a damper on your success

[buccoki 7]

I am sorry but anyone that thinks the surgery is the easy way out hasn't had it, or even done the research about it. Those of us who went the surgery way did so because we were brave enough to make a permenant change in our lives. I think WW is the safe way out because you can always quit and return to the way things were. Which is what most people end up doing. Good for you for making the decision to change your life for the better. Hopefully your friend will grow up and support your decision.

[sarsar 824]

Ouch...that hurt! Sounds to me like she is jealous. Maybe she wishes she could have surgery but can't get past her own feelings of thinking this is the easy way out? I am sure it's going to be hard for her to see you losing the weight faster than she will. Hang in there, not everyone will support you in this decision. That's ok, though, you did this for yourself. Don't give up on her. Maybe she will see your success and decide in the future that this is what she wants also!

I have said this before and I'll say it again...for me personally, although this surgery is NOT an easy way out, it has been the easiest way that I have lost the weight! I am happy with that!

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,146]

She has lost about 100 lbs on WW this time I'm very proud, and even admittedly envious, of her success but I've supported it. Always.

She almost primarily communicates via text, unless we're together in person, and I've developed a huge disdain for texting anything other than superficial chit chat.

I think I will have a sit down with her...

[missmeow 156]

Response, OMG, yay surgery!!!! Thank you!

You can take it negatively and dwell on it or turn it positive and move on.

Eventually, you're going to have to talk to her about her attitude.

[NORCALRN 60]

my bff has said to me several times "i wish you never had the surgery". this coming from someone turning 50 and is -petite. yes, it hurts my feelings and i do not think we are being over sensitive. my complications since sleeved 7-2012 are ongoing and she avoids social situations with me ((is it my feeding tube in my backpack or is she afraid i will barf and embarrass her??!! anyway - stay strong and remember you know yourself and are amazing!!!!