Dr. Gerald Kirshenbaum - Considering Dr. Kirshenbaum

[PrtyAntOvrYt 6]

I'm three pounds from my challenge goal. I've been soooo sick the past four days. I took a photo of myself last night...dang, look at my face. Yeah.

This cold weather is not flying. It was 37 degrees last night. This poor Floridian's bones are cracking and spine is screaming.

Patty!

What an absolutely lovely picture!

I'm sorry you've been sick!

I hope you're feeling better today!

[PrtyAntOvrYt 6]

WOW, Mini, you look wonderful!

Patty, beautiful pic. What a difference!

Well next Tuesday I will be getting my second fill; hopefully, that will force me to perform a little better than I have been lately!

Deb!

You've had one fill since you got your band. It's time for your fill. You've had to work so hard on your own! And you've done so well! I hope this fill makes a good difference!

[PrtyAntOvrYt 6]

Thanks Miss dee. Here's a cool thing . . . I didn't even take pics or measurements last month cuz I didn't really lose any weight in December and didn't lose a ton in January either. But I was looking at my pics from the beginning of December and I looked noticeably bigger than I do now. So I took my measurements and I've actually lost two inches from my breasts, waist, and hips since then. That's waayyy more than I usually lose over a two month period. It made me so happy!!!

I totally believe in measurements! I took mine last week on my Bandiversary and I've lost 56inches overall! 12 inches from my waist! I used to tell Mal that all of the time, when the scale doesn't move it's important to continue your measurements!

I think pictures tell the full story too!

[Lap_dancer 8]

Wow, Lap. That's a great pic!!

Umm, I'm not anywhere close to a 9. More like a 16. I still have a long ways to go if I'm ever gonna be a 9!

Could have fooled me. Wow. You look beautiful anyway. You must be a fantastic person because your radiance of good really pulses through.

I would die to be a size 9, but it's not going to happen this year.

So I decided to keep my fill appt because my TOM bumped me back up to 270 YIKES!! I am down to 268 today (just what I was at Christmas), but it just seems like I am stagnant. Oh well. That's what fills are for, and I am going to bump up the exercise until then.

Ah, fight it! Kick that couple of pounds in the 'arse, you're thisclose to achieving a goal. BTW: 260 is a goal for me.

Patty!

What an absolutely lovely picture!

I'm sorry you've been sick!

I hope you're feeling better today!

:laugh:

You know I think something happened to me today.

:thumbup:

Found out some folks were talking about me at work. Not good. Half truths, mostly gossip. But still. It fused me and then my DH put me in my proper place with his peaceful countenance (and if I never mentioned to you all what a pure man he is that's my #1 for my husband, he is the most honest person I have ever met. Always thought so and still do 26 years later. ) But anyway, it only served to really wind me up and put me in high gear. I am:

tired of feeling walked on and blaming it on my looks which always make me feel inferior.

:biggrin:

tired of being a YES person to people who do not treat other co-workers with the same demeaning attitude.

I believe I take it from them because I some how deserve to be treated LESS in hopes that they will LIKE ME because I'm so fat. Isn't that crap? Today it is crap. Today I am done with it.

( sound of TAPS plays)

:thumbup:

TODAY is the day that I shout from the mountain tops NO MORE, I WILL NOT GO DOWN WITHOUT AT FIGHT. Today is MY INDEPENDCE DAY! :tongue2:

Dee, mark today for me as being Patty's I.D. :thumbup:

In other news. I've posted my daily weight. For some reason it's peeling off and I say peeling because I was so stalled for so long. I think all the efforts are paying off and now the medications, the pain and the activity are all improving.

Having said that, I am openly putting my number on the signature and every other day I'm changing the number to keep track of what is happening. I go up, it goes up, I go down, it goes down. I need to be at 235 by the end of April or darn close to it. 245 would be acceptable.

I'm asking for extra candle lighting and keeping me accountable by sending me a PM, or posting something my way. I found the challenge really helped and I know this next goal is very important. It's a presurgical eval that will determine if I go in for the abdominals or body lift in June or wait a year.

*Dr. Kirshenbaum, word up ....I love you, you have changed my life!! Your surgery has been the only surgery I've ever had in my life where I had a zipper recovery and had the most powerful impact on my life. (other than my two children) forever thank you!!!!!

[deboregon 0]

Deb!

You've had one fill since you got your band. It's time for your fill. You've had to work so hard on your own! And you've done so well! I hope this fill makes a good difference!

I know I should've gone back sooner, but couldn't drum up the courage (flying in winter, etc.)

I totally believe in measurements! I took mine last week on my Bandiversary and I've lost 56inches overall! 12 inches from my waist! I used to tell Mal that all of the time, when the scale doesn't move it's important to continue your measurements!

I think pictures tell the full story too!

I wish I could see the difference in my pix. I just can't. I did get copies of some wedding photos (Oct. 11) and will bring them with me next Tues. in case I get an opportunity to see you, Miss Dee.

Could have fooled me. Wow. You look beautiful anyway. You must be a fantastic person because your radiance of good really pulses through.

Ah, fight it! Kick that couple of pounds in the 'arse, you're thisclose to achieving a goal. BTW: 260 is a goal for me.

:sleep:

You know I think something happened to me today.

:mad2:

Found out some folks were talking about me at work. Not good. Half truths, mostly gossip. But still. It fused me and then my DH put me in my proper place with his peaceful countenance (and if I never mentioned to you all what a pure man he is that's my #1 for my husband, he is the most honest person I have ever met. Always thought so and still do 26 years later. ) But anyway, it only served to really wind me up and put me in high gear. I am:

tired of feeling walked on and blaming it on my looks which always make me feel inferior.

:confused:

tired of being a YES person to people who do not treat other co-workers with the same demeaning attitude.

I believe I take it from them because I some how deserve to be treated LESS in hopes that they will LIKE ME because I'm so fat. Isn't that crap? Today it is crap. Today I am done with it.

( sound of TAPS plays)

:thumbup:

TODAY is the day that I shout from the mountain tops NO MORE, I WILL NOT GO DOWN WITHOUT AT FIGHT. Today is MY INDEPENDCE DAY! :patriot:

Dee, mark today for me as being Patty's I.D. :patriot:

In other news. I've posted my daily weight. For some reason it's peeling off and I say peeling because I was so stalled for so long. I think all the efforts are paying off and now the medications, the pain and the activity are all improving.

Having said that, I am openly putting my number on the signature and every other day I'm changing the number to keep track of what is happening. I go up, it goes up, I go down, it goes down. I need to be at 235 by the end of April or darn close to it. 245 would be acceptable.

I'm asking for extra candle lighting and keeping me accountable by sending me a PM, or posting something my way. I found the challenge really helped and I know this next goal is very important. It's a presurgical eval that will determine if I go in for the abdominals or body lift in June or wait a year.

*Dr. Kirshenbaum, word up ....I love you, you have changed my life!! Your surgery has been the only surgery I've ever had in my life where I had a zipper recovery and had the most powerful impact on my life. (other than my two children) forever thank you!!!!!

Patty, we will all be here supporting you and loving you as you are a wonderfully deserving woman. I can hardly believe the difference in alll those pictures. You are beautiful, inside and out!:thumbup::thumbup:

[Lap_dancer 8]

Patty, we will all be here supporting you and loving you as you are a wonderfully deserving woman. I can hardly believe the difference in alll those pictures. You are beautiful, inside and out!:confused::thumbup:

Dee you got me teared up. If yesterday was the Independence Day, today was Armaggadon. *Truth comes out eventually*. We have a wicked person underminding many people. Me? No more . I've got her number.

Dee, I believe in sizes comes not always by pounds. I can vouch for that in my clothes and by running my hands over my body and feeling cheek bone, jaw bones, specifically the mandible. To run my fingertip along the lower part of my head, under my chin near my neck, and to FEEL the bone directly under the skin is a reality of a dream.

NON WEIGHT VICTORY... my husband told me for years, until I gained enough weight to cover those bones, he loved looking at my face, why? My bone structure along my cheek and jawline.

>>>> any Native Americans in our group <<<<

This is the Creek cheeks that run in my father's side of the family. To see them again after so many years is more than a simple item to brush face powder over in a vanity kind of way.

Yes Dee, I'm feeling the inches melt, I'm seeing the change in shape. It seems like it is all happening at once. Like yesterday I could wear these too big for me purple pants and today, they fall. I can't escape the obvious.

So today, if anyone here is feeling discouraged, take heart, breath deep, put your nose into the wind and believe. Run on belief. Run hard on the simple words of people who say things like "that happened to me...here's what I did" and " I can tell a difference by your pictures" even though you can't. Stay with it, don't quit.

[PrtyAntOvrYt 6]

Patty, we will all be here supporting you and loving you as you are a wonderfully deserving woman. I can hardly believe the difference in alll those pictures. You are beautiful, inside and out!:cursing::thumbup:

Dee you got me teared up. If yesterday was the Independence Day, today was Armaggadon. *Truth comes out eventually*. We have a wicked person underminding many people. Me? No more . I've got her number.

Dee, I believe in sizes comes not always by pounds. I can vouch for that in my clothes and by running my hands over my body and feeling cheek bone, jaw bones, specifically the mandible. To run my fingertip along the lower part of my head, under my chin near my neck, and to FEEL the bone directly under the skin is a reality of a dream.

NON WEIGHT VICTORY... my husband told me for years, until I gained enough weight to cover those bones, he loved looking at my face, why? My bone structure along my cheek and jawline.

>>>> any Native Americans in our group <<<<

This is the Creek cheeks that run in my father's side of the family. To see them again after so many years is more than a simple item to brush face powder over in a vanity kind of way.

Yes Dee, I'm feeling the inches melt, I'm seeing the change in shape. It seems like it is all happening at once. Like yesterday I could wear these too big for me purple pants and today, they fall. I can't escape the obvious.

So today, if anyone here is feeling discouraged, take heart, breath deep, put your nose into the wind and believe. Run on belief. Run hard on the simple words of people who say things like "that happened to me...here's what I did" and " I can tell a difference by your pictures" even though you can't. Stay with it, don't quit.

I totally agree with you. I love feeling my shoulders. My arms are so bad, but my shoulders are getting so small. And I can have my arms at my side and not elevated due to my fat body. It's strange to see myself in the mirror... when I'm not really looking. You know, if you pass by a window and see your reflection - my mind remembers the way I've looked for 20 years and then I see someone who doesn't look that way anymore.

You talked about always being the "YES" person. I've noticed since losing weight, that I stand up for myself more often. I've recently dealt with some things at work and I've had to be confrontational. I'm not good at anger or confrontation. I back down really fast and become self-sacrificing in order to perserve a relationship - personal or professional. I hate that part of me. But as I lose weight, somehow, I feel I deserve to be treated with some respect. I'm not just the fat nurse or the fat woman, but I'm a vital part of the team! For so long, my entire career, I've had to work extra hard to be accepted, because I felt I wasn't as adequate as the others. Why? for no other reason but my size! I remember years ago, being in a yearly evaluation. It was a peer evaluation committee. I worked nights and I was the permanent night shift charge nurse. I was 30 years old and I was working with a lot of older and more experienced nurses. I remember one of the Ward Clerks making this comment, "I am concerned that if we had an emergency, she wouldn't be able to run fast enough to do what she needed to do." Mind you, this clerk had NEVER worked with me. She worked days and I worked nights. I have no idea why she was allowed to be on the committee. One of the night nurses spoke up in a loud tone, "wait a minute! IF at anytime, the crap hits the fan, I cannot think of one other nurse I'd rather have at that baby's bedside AND if there is running around that needs to be done! I'd do it, because she (meaning me) is the best we have." I sat there in the eval and cried. It was and still is so hard to hear anyone say anything nice about me. I still feel unworthy of praise.

The same thing happened when I moved here from NM. I was given high recommendations from everyone except one girl who had never worked with me, but knew me from working at the same hospital - different unit. She insisted that they would be making a huge mistake hiring me. She said this in a staff meeting in front of all the staff. My friend said, 3 other nurses spoke up and said, I was more than capable and experienced and the mistake would be NOT hiring me. I got the job. Have we ever heard anyone speak up like that against someone due to another other feature? NO! They wouldn't have the guts to do that, BUT I'm fat and worthless to some, so I don't deserve the respect everyone else, receives and expects!

Why do others judge us - for our weight only?

So Patty Darling, yesterday was your ID, TODAY was mine!

Thank you for making us think about things. Things that are so important to us, like standing up for ourselves and loving ourselves enough to take our independence back!

Hugs to YOU!

[PrtyAntOvrYt 6]

I know I should've gone back sooner, but couldn't drum up the courage (flying in winter, etc.)

I wish I could see the difference in my pix. I just can't. I did get copies of some wedding photos (Oct. 11) and will bring them with me next Tues. in case I get an opportunity to see you, Miss Dee.

Patty, we will all be here supporting you and loving you as you are a wonderfully deserving woman. I can hardly believe the difference in alll those pictures. You are beautiful, inside and out!:cursing::thumbup:

I am so hoping that we are able to see one another! What time do you have to be back at the airport? AND what time is your appt? I have to mapquest the court house to see how far I'll be from Dr K's office. I'm hoping to get out early! I heard that they usually release everyone by 4 or 5pm, I can drive really fast to see you before you leave! I'm so sad about that stupid jury duty! IF they wouldn't put out a bench warrant for my arrest, I'd just not go! BUT I do love my freedom and I'd hate to have to wear an orange suit and pick up trash along the highway! However, the mug shot would look much better than it would have a year ago! HA!

Just kidding everyone! I'd never even consider not going! I'm a law abiding citizen!

[Snowgator 3]

Everyone join me in singing - remember the Happy Anniversary song on the Flintstones? Barney is playing the piano and singing. He sings it over and over and over again, until Fred starts rolling him out of the room!

"Happy Bandiversary Happy Bandiversay Happy Bandiversary Ha-ppy Ban-di-ver-sary! Happy Happy Happy Happy Ban-di-ver-sary Happy Happy Happy Happy Ban-di-ver-sary."

This is truly a red letter day! One year! I'm emotional! I thrilled! AND I am in a celebrating kind of mood! "Celebrate Good Times, Come On!"

(my daughter used to say "Salivate" Good Times - she was only 5 years old - if you're PB'g, I guess that would be true!)

I can't believe it's been a year! I can still remember how excited I was the morning of my surgery. I wasn't scared anymore - just excited, anxious and thrilled it was finally happening!

I have so much to be thanful for! I am thankful for Dr. Kirshenbaum. He saved my life! He took a chance on a Super Morbidly Obese woman in her mid-40's, who sat in his office scared to death he'd say,"no" - He worked hard to make my surgery happen and for that I will be forever grateful. He will always be my hero!

I'm thankful for my bestfriend, "M" who turned me on to Dr. K, I'm thankful for the divorce settlement that helped me pay for my surgery, I'm thankful for Parker Adventist Hospital and the Medical Director there who worked with Dr. K and his surgical staff to help make my surgery possible in the main OR, I'm thankful for all my co-workers who adjusted their schedules not only once but twice to give me the recovery time off, I'm thankful for all of you here - each of you who comes here to post support and encouragement.

This has been a wonderful year! Today is truly the first day of the rest of my life!

Dee, a belated congrats on your one year bandiversary. You are an inspiration and we all have benefited from your experience with the band.

Are we still on for RR this Monday at 7?

For everyone. I am digging through old photos and found this one. My wedding day. I got married at Weeki Wachee, an old Florida attraction called the City of Live Mermaids. A walk down memory lane. May 28, 1983

Patty,

I love your wedding photo. I used to live in Orlando, and have been to WW several times. You look so hip!

Well all, I had quite the event this week. Ended up spending 2 nights in the hospital for severe nausea, vomiting, GI upset, etc. Got some kind of bad stomach bug. After 2nd day in, wondered if maybe it was my band, so I called Dr. K. He told me to have the order an upper GI series. They did it the next morning, and the radiology tech told me my band had slipped. It looked ok to me on the screen, kind of like photos we've seen on line, but I was nervous. I got discharged from the hospital, went home and called Dr. K's office. The staff told me he was at the surgery center. I drove there, and was lucky to catch Dr. K inbetween surgeries. He took a look at my films on CD right then, and said my band was fine. What a relief. So, a close call for me.

[PrtyAntOvrYt 6]

Dee, a belated congrats on your one year bandiversary. You are an inspiration and we all have benefited from your experience with the band.

Are we still on for RR this Monday at 7?

Patty,

I love your wedding photo. I used to live in Orlando, and have been to WW several times. You look so hip!

Well all, I had quite the event this week. Ended up spending 2 nights in the hospital for severe nausea, vomiting, GI upset, etc. Got some kind of bad stomach bug. After 2nd day in, wondered if maybe it was my band, so I called Dr. K. He told me to have the order an upper GI series. They did it the next morning, and the radiology tech told me my band had slipped. It looked ok to me on the screen, kind of like photos we've seen on line, but I was nervous. I got discharged from the hospital, went home and called Dr. K's office. The staff told me he was at the surgery center. I drove there, and was lucky to catch Dr. K inbetween surgeries. He took a look at my films on CD right then, and said my band was fine. What a relief. So, a close call for me.

thanks!

Yes, we're still on for the 7th! That's this coming Monday folks! I hope some people came come! Can you?

I'm glad you don't have a slip. I've heard from others that doctors who don't place bands always diagnose slips. I think they are just not 100% certain where they place a band.

[minidriver 0]

Hello lapband ladies. Just a drive by to say "hi" and give my love to one and all.

Every year our school puts on a production of "The Vagina Monologues" and I am always in it. This year there is a new piece featuring three transgendered women. It's a very moving piece, but even more powerful are the conversations I have had with these three women during the course of our production.

We all talk a lot on here about the person who is lost inside of our outer shell. I was thinking about these women and how hard it must be to have your outer self be so COMPLETELY different from who you are inside, in the most fundamental of ways. And, of course, to have no place in society, no legal rights, an abysmal chance at finding love, etc. I know that we are often treated very poorly because of our weight. I can't imagine how tough it must be to have people actually hate you, sometimes violently, for simply being who you are.

So . . . just feeling kind of close to all my women friends right now and wanting to remind us all to stick together and love one another (and ourselves) and be compassionate to everyone and never forget who we are inside.

Love you guys.

Edited February 7, 2009 by minidriver
can't spell, too tired

[Lap_dancer 8]

I totally agree with you. I love feeling my shoulders. My arms are so bad, but my shoulders are getting so small. And I can have my arms at my side and not elevated due to my fat body. It's strange to see myself in the mirror... when I'm not really looking. You know, if you pass by a window and see your reflection - my mind remembers the way I've looked for 20 years and then I see someone who doesn't look that way anymore.

I get this!!! and understand to the tone what you are saying. Yes, twenty years, yes, passing the reflection of a well washed window and seeing myself, walking into a store and going to the fat rack instantly only to KNOW there is no way the clothes would stay up on my body, glancing long at that person and realizing...is that ME? and then

that AHA moment.

You talked about always being the "YES" person. I've noticed since losing weight, that I stand up for myself more often. I've recently dealt with some things at work and I've had to be confrontational. I'm not good at anger or confrontation. I back down really fast and become self-sacrificing in order to perserve a relationship - personal or professional. I hate that part of me. But as I lose weight, somehow, I feel I deserve to be treated with some respect. I'm not just the fat nurse or the fat woman, but I'm a vital part of the team! For so long, my entire career, I've had to work extra hard to be accepted, because I felt I wasn't as adequate as the others. Why? for no other reason but my size!

and the congregation shouted 'AMEN'!

I remember years ago, being in a yearly evaluation. It was a peer evaluation committee. I worked nights and I was the permanent night shift charge nurse. I was 30 years old and I was working with a lot of older and more experienced nurses. I remember one of the Ward Clerks making this comment, "I am concerned that if we had an emergency, she wouldn't be able to run fast enough to do what she needed to do." Mind you, this clerk had NEVER worked with me. She worked days and I worked nights. I have no idea why she was allowed to be on the committee. One of the night nurses spoke up in a loud tone, "wait a minute! IF at anytime, the crap hits the fan, I cannot think of one other nurse I'd rather have at that baby's bedside AND if there is running around that needs to be done! I'd do it, because she (meaning me) is the best we have."

'scuse me for one moment before continuing to read...to the mouth in the meeting who equates skill with running and dissed you to the group....KISS MY PANNUS BTCH!:cursing:

Okay, pardon me for finding my voice in that situation, I failed to mention I fly off under specific circumstances only....that would have been one of them, the other one would be the freebird salute to rude flight attendents on behalf of all the obese people of America. Reading on....

I sat there in the eval and cried. It was and still is so hard to hear anyone say anything nice about me. I still feel unworthy of praise.

The same thing happened when I moved here from NM. I was given high recommendations from everyone except one girl who had never worked with me, but knew me from working at the same hospital - different unit.

Oh yeah yeah yeah, I got this one. She knows you sort of because she works with a friend of a friend whose cousin works third shift in the cafeteria at your place of employment as a part time food services assistant and passed you in the hall, read your name tag so YEAH>>>

SHE KNOWS YOU *and I got her knows you RIGHT HEAH*

She insisted that they would be making a huge mistake hiring me. She said this in a staff meeting in front of all the staff. My friend said, 3 other nurses spoke up and said, I was more than capable and experienced and the mistake would be NOT hiring me. I got the job. Have we ever heard anyone speak up like that against someone due to another other feature?

and I got this one..not just NO but Hell to the NO

NO! They wouldn't have the guts to do that, BUT I'm fat and worthless to some, so I don't deserve the respect everyone else, receives and expects!

Why do others judge us - for our weight only?

It's like the race issue...I'm serious. I was a grown woman sitting in a history class hearing about slavery before I finally GOT IT that people will demean another group based on WTH they have the issue with...culture, side of town, color of skin, WHY? Why does it have to matter size? Dee, I blow a blood vessel watching old footage of the things people have done to eachother, not in defense of land, children, family...no, suffering because it simply was allowed.

So Patty Darling, yesterday was your ID, TODAY was mine!

Thank you for making us think about things. Things that are so important to us, like standing up for ourselves and loving ourselves enough to take our independence back!

Hugs to YOU!

No THANK YOU. I ramble, you rope it. Then inspiration happens and everyone goes arm in arm and we keep it going. We have a comfort and trust in our group of Dr. K patients that I believe is a trickle down from the people who touched our lives. I'm rolling now...don't stop me..... Like our Natalie that we can call at the drop and she'll get right back with us.

Like MARILYN, the sweet voice in 2006 Colorado who was kind and understanding and I lied to her about the 402 lbs. I KNEW I weighed because I was afraid this doctor in Colorado was going to turn me away if he knew how much I really weighed so I dropped myself a few sizes. JUST LIKE the 'doctor' here in Florida who told me, finger in my face, that I would not fit on his surgical table. His solution for me? He had none. Lose weight. Like I didn't know this before. Trickle down effect from the main man!

Like Dr. Kirshenbaum who stood over my huge stomach that was larger than when I was nine months pregnant. He didn't scold, he didn't chastise me and having made that long journey west, flying four hours on pure faith. Blindly meeting this man whose care for me, his belief in medicine was more than evident through those long distance lines. He loves medicine, he loves healing. If you are a person who reads people, I do, you know it when you leave his office.

Pausing for a portion of the Hypocratic Oath, a modern version:

To reckon all who have taught me this art equally dear to me as my parents and in the same spirit and dedication to impart a knowledge of the art of medicine to others. I will continue with diligence to keep abreast of advances in medicine. I will treat without exception all who seek my ministrations, so long as the treatment of others is not compromised thereby, and I will seek the counsel of particularly skilled physicians where indicated for the benefit of my patient.

So you know Dee, WOW, tonight and today and yesterday we have both had moments of awakening. Me with my ID and you with yours! Your story left me now drained because once the anger leaves me I am depleted....and had I been there, I would have had your back!

Onward we go friends. Tomorrow is our weigh day.

WOO HOO.

Love you all.

Patty

Edited February 7, 2009 by Lap_dancer

[Lap_dancer 8]

Hello lapband ladies. Just a drive by to say "hi" and give my love to one and all.

Every year our school puts on a production of "The Vagina Monologues" and I am always in it. This year there is a new piece featuring three transgendered women. It's a very moving piece, but even more powerful are the conversations I have had with these three women during the course of our production.

We all talk a lot on here about the person who is lost inside of our outer shell. I was thinking about these women and how hard it must be to have your outer self be so COMPLETELY different from who you are inside, in the most fundamental of ways. And, of course, to have no place in society, no legal rights, an abysmal chance at finding love, etc. I know that we are often treated very poorly because of our weight. I can't imagine how tough it must be to have people actually hate you, sometimes violently, for simply being who you are.

So . . . just feeling kind of close to all my women friends right now and wanting to remind us all to stick together and love one another (and ourselves) and be compassionate to everyone and never forget who we are inside.

Love you guys.

First, would love to see the performance with you in it.

Some day? If you do it annually we may see that as a reality.

Secondly, after the night windfall conversation Dee and I just unloaded, I would say that she and I both can readily identify with precisely what you all were talking about. Never in my life have I had this personal experience of feeling out of body, morphing, changing, flopping around in this skin. LIKE THE ALIEN IN MEN IN BLACK..'there, is that better?" pulls face back. Yeah. Something like that.

Watching television here in Florida I often see a show featuring the town in Colorado that is the sex change operation capitol of the world. The lead doctor, a woman, who had sexual reassignment being born a man. Some of what she says does ring true. Some of what her patients say rings true. And though I don't have the issue of feeling like I do not match my birth sex as a woman, I very much am feeling like I don't fit in this body of mine anymore. That skinny me inside that I knew back when I was twenty, twenty one, twenty two...until I got pregnant the second time and really lost my grasp, THAT female who is ThAT size is frickin flipping out on me. She's kicking it hard to get out.

I wake up THINKING I can run, move faster, and I can...to a point. But having the spine issue has been a totally different matter. It's impaired me. Just now I got up to take my meds and quickly GOT UP and was slammed with pain, reminder!

So yeah, I can't say I understand intimately that I feel I should have a penis between my legs but I can most definately relate to the same sensation of feeling that the parts hanging on my body do not match with what my head is telling me is there.

and I hope to someday see you in that show.:cursing:

[BellaPerdente 0]

Hi all,

I am weighing in for this week. Put me down for -3 this week.:cursing: I am out of the 190's!!!!! Weighed in at 189 this morning. I am two pounds away from 100 pds.

[lotzasunshine 2]

I am up 1.5 this week. Lame TOM! But at least I am getting a fill on the 19th. YAY!! hopefully I should see it going quicker again.