Today Is My Anniversary (X Post)

[Carlene 12]

Today is my anniversary. The band and I have been married for two years now. Boy, how time flies when you are in love.....sometimes in love, that is. Sometimes not. Just like a real marriage.

My band is not quite the wonderful, perfect angel I thought it was in the beginning. Reality has set in and I have to admit that the band is sometimes an evil, controlling, mind-game-playing SOB. But sometimes it's very sweet and gives me lots of warning and does not make me spew my dinner into the toilet before I even get a chance to raise the seat.

It pretty much demands that I be faithful, though. Faithful to a diet without bread, pizza, Pasta, rice, cake, Cookies, fruit, and a bunch of other stuff. If I cheat, I pay for it. The band does not cut me much slack in that respect. Fortunately it doesn't hold a grudge, as I tend to cheat pretty regularly.

On the up-side....my band makes me feel much more attractive than I felt before we were married. And sexier....definitely sexier. Men flirt with me now, even though I am old. I guess taste is a very subjective thing.

Being married to the band has been a financial see-saw. I am a very cheap date these days, and I've saved a ton on groceries. Purchasing several new wardrobes has been pretty costly, though. I've breezed thru about 7 sizes in the last 24 months. It's very hard to find size 4 jeans that cover your belly button, by the way. So now my band and I hang out in thrift stores a lot. We can get jeans there that fit us. My daughter-in-law says that's because they have been hanging in people's closets so long that they are totally out of style, but we don't care. My band and I only need each other....we don't care what the makeover people on HGTV might say about our sense of fashion.

There has been one really tense period. I gained 3 pounds recently and I knew it was 100% due to my other love - Cheetos. I've been forced to give up the Cheetos. And the band was NO HELP at all! No help and NO SYMPATHY! Evidently, I could have had them both but I tried it and found that I just wasn't comfortable with a threesome. I've heard that ice cream and the band can team up and be really seductive, too. So be careful if you're married to a band. The guilt is just AWFUL! Trust me....it's not worth it!

[moon goddess 0]

That is too cute!

Happy Anniversary Carlene!

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[Parvathi 2]

LOL - great post Carlene!

Congratulations on all you've accomplished. A size 4?!? I couldn't even dream of it lol. If I ever fit this massive hips in a size 10 I'm going to kiss the ground cause I'll know I'm home

[Teresita 0]

Congratulations Carlene!!!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

This was way to funny and I hope to be where you are very soon.

[barbara465 2]

Great accomplishment Carlene, and great post. I think I'm still courting my band. Maybe its time I just married him and got it over with. Then maybe I could start really losing some weight.

Loved your song Jack. It really got to me. (I now know I need to brush my teeth after eating those dang cheetos!)

[Pinkylee 7]

Carlene,

Happy Anniversary!

Thanks for another insightful post.

[threebeauties 0]

Carlene

Congrats on your amazing success. I don't think I was a size 4 even when I was 4:D I am also glad that you talked about the ups and downs, that's what life is all about and I know the band will be no different.

Jack - I LOVE reading your posts. BTW - I have adopted O Holy Shredded Wheat as my Breakfast of choice (with one egg) because of you.

[juliegeraci 7]

Carlene, congrats on your success. It sounds like your love affair is right on track.

[Carlene 12]

Carlene

Congrats on your amazing success. I don't think I was a size 4 even when I was 4:D

You have to remember that I am a shade under 5 feet tall, so a size 4 isn't all that special. Eva Longoria wears a DOUBLE ZERO and I think she may be a little taller than I am.

I read the other day that the girl who plays Izzie on Grey's Anatomy is a size 4-6 and she describes herself as "curvy". Yeah, right. She's like 5'7"...not much left to "curve", if you ask me.

[Sunta 5]

Congratulations Carlene on your anniversary! I can't wait to get to 97 pounds lost. What an amazing accomplishment!

[ReneBean 3]

Happy Anniversary!!

Thanks for the sage advise on the Cheetos and Ice Cream...

:]

[beversman 0]

....[old cowboy song] .....Your Cheeto heart....willl tell on you....you'll cry and cry....but the jeans won't button......when tears come down [twang twang twang] like falling rain [twangy twang twang twang] your cheetos breath...will tell on you.....[twang twang etc]....

ha, Jack... you crack me up! :-)

question: I keep hearing about it... what is this Holy Shredded Wheat?

[terrriho 0]

Carlene, congratulations on your anniversary. Thank you for sharing your trials as well as your triumphs. Just like most soon to be wedded, er, banded, I can still see pretty much just the stars and it is good to be reminded to keep my feet firmly on the ground.

[mousecrazy 2]

Congratulations on your 2 year anniversary!

My other boyfriend is ice cream, and I can vouch for your evaluation of his seductive nature!

Great job!

[Alexandra 55]

Congratulations, Carlene. And here's to many more anniversaries!!