weekly scale challenge

[sassaay 1]

Hi DeLarla,

I just want to thank you for sharing. I also think that you are taking a very logical approach to the binging and weekend drinking... I too never considered allowing myself what I want up to a limit. It always seems to be 'all or nothing' types of thinking. For example, if I bring junk food into the house... I gave myself permission to buy it at the store, but then when I get home and start to eat it, I feel guilty... this turns into thoughts of well I better just eat it all and get it out of here. Never once thinking that maybe I should just throw it away or divide it all up into sensible portions and give myself permission to have a portioned amount when I desire.

Thank you for reminding me that there are many different ways to approach a situation. Some times I get too wrapped up into one way of thinking.

I appreciate everyone's support. Now, off to beg for a fill of more than 1cc.

[DeLarla 22]

Anne they say, "you're only as sick as your secrets." My secret is that I went through a brief period of anorexia at 17 and ended up in the ER malnourished. I naturally conquered that by learning about bulimia after the doc thanked me for stopping by on my way to the mortuary.

Bulimia comes in many forms - it's not just binging and purging. Many abuse laxatives or exercise for hours to purge a binge. That was me my entire life. Binge three days, take diet pills, exercise 3 hours and starve for 4 days. I never abused laxatives, but I did abuse diuretics and diet pills. I didn't learn to actually vomit till about 13 years ago, which thankfully only lasted a few months. I had just met Chris and was vomiting a couple times a day. One day he said, "tonight you're not eating salad and you're not vomiting, and if you do I'll never come back." I asked how he knew, and he said, "because right after we eat there's always lettuce floating in the toilet."

Listen to me, as if I'm the only one with these secrets! I keep forgetting we're all here for the same reason - to control our eating.

The band has helped me, but I have a long, long way to go. I wish I could afford intensive therapy, but that's why I'm on this board.

At least now my binges are few and far between. This is the kind of psychological problem my doc should have caught, because a doc with morals wouldn't have thought a band could correct my mind. All I know is that I have one good day under my belt. I hope today is #2.

[sassaay 1]

DeLarla,

You truly amaze me;) I just love how you can take even the most serious of topics and add humor... not in a bad way, but in a way that brings me back to reality. I can relate to everything you have shared... I just haven't gotten to the point where I can share my 'secrets' so openly... but I will say that you are not alone.

Before banding I was struggling with compulsive overeating (binging) which I hid from family and friends. I still have the urge to binge, but thankfully my band won't let me get out of control to the degree that I could pre-banding. I can still eat enough to maintain or gain a couple of pounds, so for this I am forever grateful. When I was being 'qualified' for banding, my family practitioner asked me one question about my mental health... Are you depressed? Well, I don't like to admit failure to anyone and to me this appeared to be admitting failure, so I cheerfully responded 'No'... that was it. No psych eval, nothing... But please don't get me wrong. I am glad that I have my band because it does make it easier for me to face my 'head hunger' and try to address the REAL reasons I want to turn to food instead of dealing with my feelings/problems.

I am happy to hear that you are making it one day at a time. I have my first fill in my new band... convinced my doc to start me off with 1.25cc and it definitely feels different than it did in my leaky band. I am on fluids for 48hours and I weighed in at the docs office at 237.6, so maybe I can get another pound off in the next week.

Thank you for sharing... it is nice to know that I am not alone in this journey. There are wonderful people like yourself for me to share the good and the bad.

[nightingale2u 42]

Anne... I am so glad you were able to talk them into a little bit more than 1cc. It will be so wonderful for you to have some restriction after all of this time! My fill didn't really kick in until 3 weeks after so maybe you will have more restriction down the line.

I know what you are saying in regards to the binging... I still have the urge but just can't act on it which is a VERY good thing!

Darcy

[DeLarla 22]

Anne, the craziest thing about my binge eating is that I used to hide it. Once my boyfriend came home from work when he wasn't supposed to. I was eating a pint of ice cream. When I heard his keys, I crammed it into the nightstand. He found it. I was mortified.

But the funny part is that I started going to Overeater's Anonymous meetings. I lost 30 pounds over the course of a year by only eating 3 meals a day, but it taught me so much. One thing I learned was to stop hiding my binge eating. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, cuz soon I was inviting people to pig out with me. Asking "hey, you gonna eat that?" Now I have no shame. Zero, I'll pig out with anyone. So I got really fat, but the secrets stopped.

I'm glad you got your fill. After bingeing for 3 days, my belly/band hurt pretty bad, so I have had good restriction for a couple days. I really think the doctor hit my sweet spot at 1.8 cc when I had my first and only fill during the port removal surgery. I have days when I'm really tight (but just a few days out of the month.) I wish I could be this tight every day.

Hey, maybe binge eating is a good thing since it gave me restriction ... NO, I did NOT say that!

[sassaay 1]

Hi Darcy,

I supposedly have had this much fill with my previous band, but I can really feel the difference. The fluids I am confined to until Saturday are going down very slowly... especially this morning. I also feel some pressure/very slight discomfort in my chest after I swallow... could this be restriction???? YAAAAY :D

Hi DeLarla,

Now that you mention it, I think I experienced the same... When I started admitting to my BF and family that I was a compulsive overeater... no one believed me. That's when I realized that I hid it from everyone except one ex-friend whom I would binge with... of course she was overweight as well and also had other destructive behaviors and a negative vibe. I had to end that relationship when I decided to turn my health around. But, I too can recall being in the middle of a binge and someone would drop by unexpected... I have hidden plates of food behind plants in living room (hee hee)... It really is sad when I think about it, but food has been my constant friend and comforter. I know it all has to do with my childhood and feelings of being abandoned by my father and ignored by my mom. Thankfully, my mom and I have a great relationship now and I don't hold any grudges... she was a single mom doing what she needed to do in order to keep two kids clothed and fed. Food was my caretaker and I carried that into adult hood.

Geez, you don't know how much it helps to just get this out and share it so publicly. I guess the first step to recovering is admitting you have a problem... now I am more than ready to move to step two Here's to another day without a binge!

Hi Everyone else in this thread,

My apologies for highjacking this topic for talks of compulsive behaviours and bindging. When I come out of my shell... watch out! :kiss

[DeLarla 22]

Anne, I think it all falls under weekly challenge... maybe we should start a new threat called Minute Challenge!

By the way, Penni says hi. She had to drive her mom to Kentucky today for a colonoscopy, so she won't be around the boards. She'll miss everyone!

[La_madam 20]

Monday 9/27

212.25

a loss of 1 lb this week

Hope you all have a great week!!

[nightingale2u 42]

Hiya Folks,

Weight today 217... that 1.5 lbs lost this week.... a total of 5 lbs for the month which is slower than I would like to see... but at least it's going down. I sometimes wonder if the extra exercise is worth it if muscle weighs more than fat! ANyhoo... am going to measure today sometime to see if that has changed. I guess if I want to see it go off faster I am going to have to make a few changes.

So... I did get to my goal of 40 lbs lost... and my goal for next weeks weigh-in is to hit 215 or lower.

Hope everybody had a good week!

Darcy

[Iluvharleys 15]

Darcy - Congrats on the hitting that 40 pound loss, I knew you could do it! :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana

I know what you mean, when I start exercising I seem to slow at weight loss too, however, I do feel better when I do exercise.

Michelle - Congrats to you too, you are doing great!

Betty

[hagerteresa 3]

Darcy and Michelle,

I think you are both doing great. Good job!!!

Teresa

[New Hope 37]

4 lbs., total loss -44 lbs.

Michelle, almost 53 lbs! Did you (in your wildest dreams) ever think you'd lose this quickly when you got your band? Great job!

Darcy, 40 lbs! Wow, I'm going to have to pedal a little faster! You're going to "blow my doors off"! Fantastic! You're becoming a "lean, mean fighting machine"!

Hope everyone has a wonderful, healthy, Losing week!

[DeLarla 22]

I'm up 1.5 but I spent 2 days in the frying heat, so I'm probably bloated. I'm a very slow loser. I'm slowing to like 3 pounds a month, but as long as I don't see a gain by the end of the month then I'm good.

[Iluvharleys 15]

Wow, that is great! Wish for 40 and get 44!

:banana :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana :banana

You gals are awsome!

Betty

[La_madam 20]

Marie way to go..you flew right by 40!

Delarla as long as you are happy with no gain at the end of themonth then we are all happy for you. We all have our own pace, no one can tell us we are doing it the right way or the long way!