My bf finally supports me now to move forward!

[NewAshes 232]

He still thinks its a bit extreme but I had to explain to him that the sleeve doesn't have the long term effects like the bypass has, that is what really scared him. I'm hoping to bring him to a seminar to help him understand the process better. Now I'm trying to decide if I should stay with my aunt for the first week post op since there is someone always home and lots of support or if I should come back to my apartment with stairs and my bf will be there but he has to work most of the day..will suck not to be with him at night if I do stay with my aunt. Any of you stayed with family post op?

[makemyownluck 785]

I plan to stay with my parents for a few days, then when I'm comfortable, I'll come home. But I live alone, so my reasons aren't the same as yours.

I'd advise to stay where you'll be taken care of the best. The last think you'll want is to give yourself a hernia because it "will suck not to be with him at night". I had laparoscopic surgery to have my gall bladder removed a few years ago, and I couldn't even lay down in my bed for about 3 weeks, so most likely, you'll be on the couch or in a chair by yourself anyway. I lived with my bf at that time, too, and lemme tell you, being in pain after surgery made me really cranky, and we argued all the time. That was really the last thing that I needed when I was all hurty from surgery...

You are doing this for you - not your bf. I'd hope you could both stand to look at the bigger picture and not worry about sleeping separately for a few days if it means you're being taken care of properly....... can't he come visit you at your aunt's house anyway?

[NewAshes 232]

I plan to stay with my parents for a few days, then when I'm comfortable, I'll come home. But I live alone, so my reasons aren't the same as yours.

I'd advise to stay where you'll be taken care of the best. The last think you'll want is to give yourself a hernia because it "will suck not to be with him at night". I had laparoscopic surgery to have my gall bladder removed a few years ago, and I couldn't even lay down in my bed for about 3 weeks, so most likely, you'll be on the couch or in a chair by yourself anyway. I lived with my bf at that time, too, and lemme tell you, being in pain after surgery made me really cranky, and we argued all the time. That was really the last thing that I needed when I was all hurty from surgery...

You are doing this for you - not your bf. I'd hope you could both stand to look at the bigger picture and not worry about sleeping separately for a few days if it means you're being taken care of properly....... can't he come visit you at your aunt's house anyway?

we have been living together for a little over a year and have ver spent more then a night apart :3 but yes he can visit. I'm just wondering if its ok if your place has stairs. I can't imagine coming home after surgery and being able tO walk up and down stairs. My aunts house is 1 story only I'd have to sleep on the couch cause my grandma is living in their guest room. But I wouldn't get peace and quiet with my 8 year old cousin running around so I'm not sure what I want to do

[makemyownluck 785]

Sounds like you'll have challenges no matter where you go! How often would you have to go up and down the stairs? I mean, moving isn't impossible, just uncomfortable. You'll have to walk around anyway post op, but stairs could be a challenge, for sure. It's not like you'll be completely immobile, though. Does your cousin go to school? Would it be terribly inconvenient to go to your aunt's during the day and go home at night?

I can totally relate to wanting to be at home, though. My parents house is very comfortable, very quiet, in the country and very big. My dogs are even welcome to come with me. But I know me, and I'll just want to be in my own home!! So I only plan to stay with them for 2-3 days tops after being discharged from the hospital. I'll have to make arrangements for laundry, because my laundry area in the basement has really steep stairs, and I won't be able to lug the baskets up and down... I'll have to make arrangements for someone to come help with groceries and stuff too... but just think, it's only a few weeks, then we'll be back to ourselves!

[NewAshes 232]

Sounds like you'll have challenges no matter where you go! How often would you have to go up and down the stairs? I mean, moving isn't impossible, just uncomfortable. You'll have to walk around anyway post op, but stairs could be a challenge, for sure. It's not like you'll be completely immobile, though. Does your cousin go to school? Would it be terribly inconvenient to go to your aunt's during the day and go home at night?

I can totally relate to wanting to be at home, though. My parents house is very comfortable, very quiet, in the country and very big. My dogs are even welcome to come with me. But I know me, and I'll just want to be in my own home!! So I only plan to stay with them for 2-3 days tops after being discharged from the hospital. I'll have to make arrangements for laundry, because my laundry area in the basement has really steep stairs, and I won't be able to lug the baskets up and down... I'll have to make arrangements for someone to come help with groceries and stuff too... but just think, it's only a few weeks, then we'll be back to ourselves!

he goes to school but when he gets home he's in the living room all the time which is where I would be sleeping lol but if I want to eat I'd have to go down stairs and we have coin op which is a bit of a walk..now that I think about it though my lease is up in August and I won't be done with the 6 month diet so I will just plan on staying with family cause I most likely wont be here I just don't know what to expect because I have only had a small nose surgery which was no biggie at all so idk how much walking is enough or too much

[makemyownluck 785]

he goes to school but when he gets home he's in the living room all the time which is where I would be sleeping lol but if I want to eat I'd have to go down stairs and we have coin op which is a bit of a walk..now that I think about it though my lease is up in August and I won't be done with the 6 month diet so I will just plan on staying with family cause I most likely wont be here I just don't know what to expect because I have only had a small nose surgery which was no biggie at all so idk how much walking is enough or too much

well, I haven't been sleeved yet, so I'm just speaking from my experience from gall bladder surgery, combined with what I've read here. GB surgery isn't that different from what this surgery will be, except for the huge staple line in our stomachs. You can move around, you're just very tender in the abdominal area, and you use your abs for just about every movement you make. I would get this "pulling" pain (no other way to describe it) if I laid down in bed. I had to be nearly sitting all the way up to be comfortable enough to sleep. And walking was okay, but after about 5-10 minutes, I'd get an ache and have to take a break. A simple trip to the grocery store for a few items would wear me completely out.

Don't expect to be incapacitated. You can do most stuff, but reaching up for things and bending over will be very painful for a few weeks. Don't push yourself beyond what feels doable. Your body will let you know when it's time to slowww downnn.

Having the GB surgery was painful, but it wasn't terrible. After about 5 days, I was fine. I was back to work 9 days after surgery. (office job) Knowing what to expect isn't scaring me off from doing this! The post op pain is temporary, I'm more nervous about all the other changes that will come once the surgery is done... losing weight, having clothes that fit, knowing what/when to eat, staying healthy, getting enough exercise... this is what concerns me. Surgery is only the beginning!

[NewAshes 232]

well, I haven't been sleeved yet, so I'm just speaking from my experience from gall bladder surgery, combined with what I've read here. GB surgery isn't that different from what this surgery will be, except for the huge staple line in our stomachs. You can move around, you're just very tender in the abdominal area, and you use your abs for just about every movement you make. I would get this "pulling" pain (no other way to describe it) if I laid down in bed. I had to be nearly sitting all the way up to be comfortable enough to sleep. And walking was okay, but after about 5-10 minutes, I'd get an ache and have to take a break. A simple trip to the grocery store for a few items would wear me completely out.

Don't expect to be incapacitated. You can do most stuff, but reaching up for things and bending over will be very painful for a few weeks. Don't push yourself beyond what feels doable. Your body will let you know when it's time to slowww downnn.

Having the GB surgery was painful, but it wasn't terrible. After about 5 days, I was fine. I was back to work 9 days after surgery. (office job) Knowing what to expect isn't scaring me off from doing this! The post op pain is temporary, I'm more nervous about all the other changes that will come once the surgery is done... losing weight, having clothes that fit, knowing what/when to eat, staying healthy, getting enough exercise... this is what concerns me. Surgery is only the beginning!

well that's good to know that it isn't extreme pain walking around. It's not the pain that scares me or the surgery it's the staying away from carbs and restaurant food. Ever since my bf and I moved in together we have been eating out almost every other day because neither of us enjoy cooking. I'm wondering if he will help me out on sticking to healthy foods and not encourage eating out anymore.

[makemyownluck 785]

well that's good to know that it isn't extreme pain walking around. It's not the pain that scares me or the surgery it's the staying away from carbs and restaurant food. Ever since my bf and I moved in together we have been eating out almost every other day because neither of us enjoy cooking. I'm wondering if he will help me out on sticking to healthy foods and not encourage eating out anymore.

Oh, that's a tricky one... plenty of people have discussed on here how this surgery affects their relationship with their bf/gfs or spouses. I can't imagine it will be easy, especially when you've both gotten comfortable with bad habits. You should start making changes now so it;s not such a shock when surgery comes around... do you have a surgery date yet?

I have a girlfriend who has a similar relationship with her bf. They live together and both don't like to cook much. They eat out probably 5 nights a week - and they eat bar food at that. Pizzas, subs, fried foods... she's gained probably 50lbs in the 2 yrs she's been with him... and he stays skinny. It's not my place to tell her to stop eating like that (esp since she's still way thinner than I am - but even at my WORST I didn't eat as poorly as those two do!), but I always have the urge to tell her to slow it down!

But I have my own bad habits to work on, so I TRY to keep my opinions to myself!

[NewAshes 232]

Oh, that's a tricky one... plenty of people have discussed on here how this surgery affects their relationship with their bf/gfs or spouses. I can't imagine it will be easy, especially when you've both gotten comfortable with bad habits. You should start making changes now so it;s not such a shock when surgery comes around... do you have a surgery date yet?

I have a girlfriend who has a similar relationship with her bf. They live together and both don't like to cook much. They eat out probably 5 nights a week - and they eat bar food at that. Pizzas, subs, fried foods... she's gained probably 50lbs in the 2 yrs she's been with him... and he stays skinny. It's not my place to tell her to stop eating like that (esp since she's still way thinner than I am - but even at my WORST I didn't eat as poorly as those two do!), but I always have the urge to tell her to slow it down!

But I have my own bad habits to work on, so I TRY to keep my opinions to myself!

i do not have a date yet. I still need to ask my doctor to refer me which will be on the 11th. My bf wants to lose weight as well but it's only words so far lol. We did sensa together but then he stopped and it stopped working for me. He wants to do the Akins diet so I told him when it comes time for 6 month diet we will work on it together so I hope he is serious and realizes that we both will be cooking more. I hate cooking because I have ADHD its very hard to stay and cook I have to multi task and in doing so I even screw up Mac and cheese on bad days lol.