I don't wanna talk about it.

[mwrarr 244]

So, I'm 5 days away... & suddenly I have no desire to talk at all. I'm finding myself increasingly withdrawn & I can't stop being this way. In my head, I'm overwhelmed with check lists of things I should do, letters I should write, words I should say... but I am terrified almost. It's bizarre. I've waited so long for this. I'm not having doubts, bc I definitely feel like I need this tool. I'm just...idk...contemplative, I guess. ?? A lot about the actual surgery freaks me out: anesthesia, Foley Cath, subconsciously hearing OR sounds, the possibility of waking up with a mistake RNY instead, not waking up... The recovery doesn't worry me as much as being out of work/income. I've hobbled on a dislocated pelvis & subsequent healing back. I've borne two children with pregnancies that destroyed my body & almost killed me each time. I'm sure a little abdominal surgery/recovery is nothing I can't handle. But these head games...

[cbd 78]

I completely understand. I was sleeved 1/10/13. I work in a hospital as a nurse so I kept thinking about the same things as you....anesthesia, foley, not waking up, screwing up my wonderful life just cause I can't lose on my own...etc, etc, etc. Well......everything went fine. I did fine with anesthesia, I don't remember the catheter (I was out when it went in and came out), and I did wake up and I did not screw up my wonderful life. I kept thinking....are things really that bad that I need surgery? I knew I was ready for it and really wanted it so I did go ahead and follow thru. I think all these feelings are normal and it would be unwise not to worry about surgery....it should always be thought out and respected. Good luck. Let us all know how things go.

[Joe I 180]

I know I felt the same way, I was sleeved in March 4th, what I did was go to my happy place as often as needed. As soon as the bad thoughts would creep in, off I would go to the boat fishing on a warm summer day listening to a Tiger ball game, sometimes I would even catch a fish... It will work out for you just let it you'll be fine.

[SpaceDust 585]

I certainly understand that withdrawal, Mwrarr - I did something similar when I had a planned major abdominal surgery several years ago. I didn't want to deal with it AT ALL those last few days, and I certainly didn't want to talk about it (except when I did - I did have a nervous wreck conversation with my husband about it a couple of days before, where I was panicking and almost decided to call it off). Try and relax as much as you can. If you start to get really worked up, it might be worth checking into getting a little Valium or Xanax to help you be calm. You have thought this through, and you know it's what you need to do for yourself, but at this point it's so easy to second-guess yourself and as you said, play head games with yourself about worst case scenarios. Maybe it would help to turn it around and think of best case scenarios - in a matter of months, you'll be well on your way to the healthier you that you're seeking. You'll be more active, and it will be easier every day to get out there and go, go, go!

Hang in there, we're all with you!

[mwrarr 244]

Thank you so much, all of you, for taking the time to respond. I appreciate it very much. I'm doing better today... 2 days to go. I still have to pick up a couple of items for my overnight bag (gas x strips, camera batteries, etc), but I'm basically ready. Still VERY nervous, but ready. :}

[BigFatLoser 331]

That's so odd because I had the exact same pre op response. I went into myself and didn't feel like talking to anyone. I just wanted to go about my business quietly. I think maybe we were mentally preparing? Trying to come to terms with he enormity of what we are about to do? I dont know. But you're certainly not alone in this.

amymorrison29 on MyFitnessPal!

[mwrarr 244]

I liken this process to awaiting the birth of a child. For me, it's been a LONG wait & almost didn't think it would happen -- 15 months & a denial & 2 appeals. I've noticed myself getting that same panicky "I need more time" feeling, paired with the "Omigosh, I can't wait!"...nearly simultaneously. I agree, it's probably a mental preparation thing. There's really very few people who can relate to this surgery, and most of you for me are online! I'm only #50-60-ish for my surgeon at all. (I'm gonna ask him what # I am for real...Lol)

I'm so glad to have the support here. So very glad.

[Colemon70 87]

I liken this process to awaiting the birth of a child. For me' date=' it's been a LONG wait & almost didn't think it would happen -- 15 months & a denial & 2 appeals. I've noticed myself getting that same panicky "I need more time" feeling, paired with the "Omigosh, I can't wait!"...nearly simultaneously. I agree, it's probably a mental preparation thing. There's really very few people who can relate to this surgery, and most of you for me are online! I'm only #50-60-ish for my surgeon at all. (I'm gonna ask him what # I am for real...Lol)

I'm so glad to have the support here. So very glad.[/quote']

Good luck to you. I'm on the 26th. Ill be thinking of all my fellow sleevers

[NewAshes 232]

Woah woah woah! You have to get a catheter? Eek! Are people normally awake for that? I imagine it hurts to be out in and is extremely annoying lol. Back to the original topic when I get nervous I am extremely quiet because of all the thoughts in my head. I like to be left alone but not alone if that makes sense. So far I have only had 1 surgery and that was for a deviated septum and I was terrified over that and there was no over night stay. I remember being in the operation room and counting down. The worst part for me is the nausea. I ended up throwing up once I got home from surgery and almost blow out my nose stents lol.

[dar2007 2]

I am schedule for march 26 and very very nervous I have two two year olds that on my brain I'm thinking the same thing but don't want to say out loud. I also had a ivc inserted inside of me so that scared me. I look forward of loosing the weight.. and begin to enjoy my new life. I am cranky and don't mean to. Not sure why I am

[Seanja 117]

My surgery is on tuesday 3/26. I was feeling fine until I began to read these posts.......

[Sunshine Raye 3]

I too am nervous, yet anxious and scared all at the same time! I have had 10 different surgeries and the catheter thing is nothing really..way better for women than men I hear. I mostly worry about the ill feeling..I hate to throw up! But by reading on here..they all say to tell dr before and after as there is medication. I have dealt with other pain every day and I know that God will get me through this too!!

[mwrarr 244]

I am not happy about the catheter, but I get it. I've made peace with the process. I am ready.

[mwrarr 244]

My surgery is on tuesday 3/26. I was feeling fine until I began to read these posts.......

You'll be fine! come back & fill us in!

[mwrarr 244]

Good luck to you. I'm on the 26th. Ill be thinking of all my fellow sleevers

TODAY!!!!! make sure to come back & tell us how you made out!