Negative Boyfriend

[Stranger 123 28]

Oh guys, I am just ready to rip my boyfriends head off. We have been together for a little over two years now and I've always been extremely overweight my entire life. Well now I'm 3 months post op and almost 60 pounds down and I feel great! I work out every single day, can finally start dressing more age appropriate, and am finally finding some confidence that I've never had. And I hate to say it, but I think my boyfriend hates the idea of me feeling better about myself. He's been 100% against WLS from the start and always making remarks about how if I really wanted it bad enough I'd be able to do it without the sleeve! And now yesterday I went bathing suit shopping and was THRILLED that I could fit into a normal bathing suit (i don't think I've worn one since a infant) so I sent him a picture and be says to me "You know, I have to be honest, you've really let yourself go. You don't take care of yourself like you used to." WHAT?! This is the first time in my life that I actually am taking care of myself! This really hurt my feelings and I just can't shake it. I know this is kind of just a rant and I really appreciate having this forum to vent these issues too. Has anyone else had this kind of reaction from a loved one? I think it might be time to send him to the curb..... Here's the picture I sent him BTW Starting weight 262, current weight 206

[superstartover 101]

Personally I think you look beautiful

[JeffNNJ 111]

You're adorable. Maybe it's time for you to make another change in your life

[Stranger 123 28]

Thank you guys so so so much! You've managed to put a big smile on my face. It took so much for me to get into a bathing suit anyways, never mind to have my own boyfriend pretty much tell me not to even bother. I just wanted to crawl back into my baggy t-shirts and shorts.

[Joe I 180]

Dump the looser!!!

[simplejaxgirl 135]

I agree with the poster above. This lifestyle is already tough, and with such negativity, maybe time to reevaluate the relationship? Hope you find peace with your decision either way!

-Cassie

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[tammy1970 20]

You look stunning!!! Can't wait to look like you! Wow- seems he may be a little jealous if the new you. Guys are sometimes like this, unfortunately girl friends can even be worse. You are gorgeous my dear! Enjoy the new you and if he keeps bringing you down, there are so many other guys out there that will love you even more. It's a sign of his insecurities. I have an ex-hubby like that.

[moregoodtimes 331]

Im sure there will be those who say he is just feeling insecure but personnaly, that kind of comment is made to degrade you. I dont care if he is insecure - there is no excuse for that kind of hatefulness. It is totally self-centered and was meant to hurt you. Please dont let him get by with that behavior. You deserve better....either by him or someone new.

[Sadtosaygoodbye 256]

You have to do what's best for you. With that being said, you wouldn't walk around in clothes that are 10 sizes too small. (least I hope you wouldn't) Maybe your guy has gotten too small for you, and it's time for a change.

[sharonintx 1,275]

Amanda you look just lovely. Don't let the boyfriend bother you. He is obviously insecure about your weight loss. Judging from the picture I don't think you'd have any problem getting a new, improved boyfriend. My youngest child hasn't been to thrilled with my decision. It's just the adjustment from seeing Mom in one way his whole life and now he knows I will look different.

You stand your ground. If your bf doesn't like it, then he can go find himself another fat chick and you can move along to a new bf. Trade up!

[Dogminst 11]

I think you are very pretty and I think your BF is very insecure. I don't see either of those changing. Probably time to get someone in your life that is supportive!

[Joe I 180]

Im sure there will be those who say he is just feeling insecure but personnaly, that kind of comment is made to degrade you. I dont care if he is insecure - there is no excuse for that kind of hatefulness. It is totally self-centered and was meant to hurt you. Please dont let him get by with that behavior. You deserve better....either by him or someone new.

Ya, dump the looser!!!

[JProx 161]

Keep positive and surround yourself with bright positive people.This journey can be very fun.

[Stranger 123 28]

Thank you so much for the support everyone. I think hearing this from you guys justified how I was feeling about it inside. I love the VSG crew! :-) lol

[anniemay 150]

I agree with everyone because I was you. You are young and beautiful. Men like this will play on your insecurity to keep you locked down. That is not how a healthy relationship works. If after all this he is not supportive and actually thinks you are doing worse then he is not thinking about you. He is thinking about himself. Keeping you heavy makes it easy for him to keep you. This is not going to change because he isn't secure in himself.......and his tactics are working - simply by you saying you want to go put on baggy clothes is playing into his control to keep you close....don't let him do this. You deserve to be happy in life and to have a partner that supports you the way you would support them. I know it will take time but don't waste too much more time on him - you have a beautiful life ahead of you and you deserve to live it with someone who appreciates you!