Pet Peeve

[GoldyGirl 186]

I posted this on another thread a little while ago. In light of this new thread, I think it bears repeating.

While I can somewhat appreciate what you say, if it was that easy there would be no needs for boards such as this. The truth is that slow losing can be very discouraging and can cause people to throw up their hands and consider themselves a failure and go back to the old habits that got them here to begin with. I've been in a very slow losing slide for the last month, losing a total of 5 pounds in the last 30 days. I've eaten my calories, watched my carbs, done the carido etc, but the weight is just coming off slowly. I wasn't discouraged early on, but now it is starting to come and I can see myself creeping back into where I was before. Weightloss, regardless of how it is approached, either surgically or through the old fashioned methods, it tough. Don't you feel that it we were all eating the right number of calories and doing the right number of jumping jacks that we would be skinny in no time flat? It just isn't that simple for some. It is tough to come on here and read that someone who was sleeved after me, has lost 70 or 80 pounds. It's hard to read that someone is losing 4 to 5 pounds a week for 5 to 6 months and you are busting your hump to lose 1. This is where I was before, I'm losing the weight that I've lost maybe 10 or 15 times. Yes I expect better results and a faster weight loss and I don't think that is totally unreasonable. So I can certainly empathize with the OP. Hopefully that will give you some perspective to "understand people" a bit better.

Yes, I understand what you are saying, and that is tough... But that is NOT what I was talking about at all...I am talking about complaining about 30 to 40 lbs in a few weeks.... NOT Slow or not 1 or 2 lbs a week... Thats all I ment.

[GoldyGirl 186]

I just wish you would have posted this over in the Rants and Raves forum instead of the Tell Your Story forum ...

People looking for encouragement are instead greeted with this ...

Another pet peeve of mine ... folks not posting their threads in the appropriate forum ...

Sorry, I am VERY NEW to this Page myself and did not know there were other places to post, Actually, I am rethinking this Page PPL seem very defensive and Not to friendly, to me at least. WOW Making me think I should not hace even posted at all....Seems to be a group click already, and not welcoming to new ppl.

[Pixie Dust 526]

I did not mean to be Snarky, just saying that Loosing 30 to 40 lbs in a couple of months is GREAT.... NOT a slow loser....I felt irritated, cause It is all I have lost and Think it is Awesome could NOT have done it before surgery. That none of us gained ALL the Weight in a few Months and NOT gonna lose it all in a few ... Just me Venting, Thats all ...No harm Ment.

Absolutely! Without this surgery, prob more than 90% of us couldn't lose 30 to 40 lbs in a couple months, but some people are just either being really hard on themselves, or they just need a little encouragement because I'm sure that after a couple months, this could seem even harder if you're not having a significant weight loss or a weight loss as fast as the first couple weeks. We prob all forget that we didn't put this excess weight on in just a few months, so even with the Sleeve, it may still take longer then you have in head how much weight you might lose.

I believe I read (& commented) on a post a few days ago of a girl who lost a massive amount of weight in about 6 months. Who knows what she did or how her metabolism is or maybe age factors in regarding how quickly people lose or pre or post menopause, who knows...but if that person is constantly reading about how quickly others are losing, they may be thinking they are failing. That's when we all need a bit of love....sorta like giving someone a hand (or a kind word) when they're down. That's all I'm sayin. (That's a pretty crappy wink in the smiley faces they offer here! )

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Tit for tat.. Can't please everyone

[PdxMan 4,292]

Sorry, I am VERY NEW to this Page myself and did not know there were other places to post, Actually, I am rethinking this Page PPL seem very defensive and Not to friendly, to me at least. WOW Making me think I should not hace even posted at all....Seems to be a group click already, and not welcoming to new ppl.

I think we are a family. We have our issues, surely, like all families do. But in the end, we try to support each other.

We all have had our struggles with weight loss over the years. Most folks would consider VSG a very radical step and there is so much fear that, like other diets in their past, this may not work for them either, after taking such a radical step.

Since they have undergone this radical procedure, they set expectations which are not based in reality. They don't understand why someone with a BMI of 40+ loses weight quicker than the person with a BMI of 35. They grow anxious and begin to feel like a failure.

Just like being criticized for their previous weight loss attempts, many folks here get defensive when a post like this arrives as it just re-enforces this negative thinking which most of us have been plagued with our entire lives.

It is hard to keep positive all the time, so I find we I feel like you do regarding someone's thread, it is best if I just move on ...

[Pixie Dust 526]

Sorry, I am VERY NEW to this Page myself and did not know there were other places to post, Actually, I am rethinking this Page PPL seem very defensive and Not to friendly, to me at least. WOW Making me think I should not hace even posted at all....Seems to be a group click already, and not welcoming to new ppl.

Oh please don't feel that way. I sure hope I wasn't sounding mean to you...I was just expressing my feelings. I'm in no way a part of a click, since I'm very new here too. I haven't noticed a "click" here (well, not yet anyway!) I just worried once I read your initial post because since my husband & my BFF & one other friend (which neither of those two live in the same state as me) are going to be the only people who know about my surgery. So I hope to come here to ask questions & seek encouragement. I just felt that my needing a little boost of confidence was not going to be welcomed since it seemed to put people out, that's all.

I never meant to make you feel unwelcomed. That's not my style. Lets all pass the peace pipe! (No calories in that, right?)

[Nicolanz 1,484]

Honestly, with the exception of a few posts, I just see everyone giving their opinion on the subject. Just because we are not applauding you or agreeing doesn't mean we are unwelcoming or clicky.

[GoldyGirl 186]

I think we are a family. We have our issues, surely, like all families do. But in the end, we try to support each other.

We all have had our struggles with weight loss over the years. Most folks would consider VSG a very radical step and there is so much fear that, like other diets in their past, this may not work for them either, after taking such a radical step.

Since they have undergone this radical procedure, they set expectations which are not based in reality. They don't understand why someone with a BMI of 40+ loses weight quicker than the person with a BMI of 35. They grow anxious and begin to feel like a failure.

Just like being criticized for their previous weight loss attempts, many folks here get defensive when a post like this arrives as it just re-enforces this negative thinking which most of us have been plagued with our entire lives.

It is hard to keep positive all the time, so I find we I feel like you do regarding someone's thread, it is best if I just move on ...

Good Point, It is frustrating to hear that 40 lbs in 2 months is a SLOW loser, I am proud of my self and got irritated, and Needed a Place to VENT, I thought this was it but Feel like i have Now become attacked by lots of ppl, not you, you made a good point..BUT sheesh, a tough crowd here, Maybe i should NOT just VENT anymore...?????

[PdxMan 4,292]

Oh no ... just like a real family, we all have to vent. I think we just ask to vent in the appropriate places

Just like if my brother used the living room for a bathroom, I would be like, "Hey! We have a place for that!" He may think I was harsh for yelling at him, but, that would be my initial reaction. Then, as he explained he didn't know I had a bathroom, I would direct him to where it was, and we would all go back to playing cards. (said with a Wisconsin/Minnesota type accent)

BTW, someone with a BMI well in excess of 60 might easily be considered a slow loser if they lost 40 pounds in the first two months ... it just does nobody any good to compare. We just are not equal in body composition and weight loss and we ALL do each other no good to compare.

[No game 14,437]

**comes running in***

I've got the stick! Where's the dead horse???

[Nicolanz 1,484]

**comes running in***

I've got the stick! Where's the dead horse???

Haha you gotta spoon too? This pot needs stirring!

I guess when you vent about other's journeys, expect backlash.

[SpaceDust 585]

Sorry' date=' I am VERY NEW to this Page myself and did not know there were other places to post, Actually, I am rethinking this Page PPL seem very defensive and Not to friendly, to me at least. WOW Making me think I should not hace even posted at all....Seems to be a group click already, and not welcoming to new ppl.[/quote']

I found that people here are very normal, kind people for the most part. Sure, there are some cliques, but they're pretty open ones, really, they're just people who have found they have a particular affinity with each other so tend to post in a lot of the same threads - just like any other set of friends, they like to hand out together. Doesn't mean they aren't open to making new friends.

As far as defensiveness goes, go back and read your post as if you were someone else. Notice that even though when you wrote it your intent may have been positive, if you read it as someone without the context of knowing your intent it actually sounds negative and preachy and an attack on people who, whether we agree with them or not, are worried they are failing and need a bit of support. That is what everyone was responding to. It's not really defensive in a negative sense, but protective of others who also need support so that they also fell comfortable about posting here.

Sure, now WE know that you might have intended it to be more of a "Come on, chin up, you're doing great so stop feeling bad" sort of post, but without context it really sounds like "Shut up, I don't want to hear your miserable whining about nothing." And, since it wasn't in the rants and raves forum, it really stuck out.

I hour you stick around - I'm sure that you'll have a lot of interesting things to say!

[SpaceDust 585]

**comes running in***

I've got the stick! Where's the dead horse???

It's over there. See that unrecognizable pile? I think someone has Wile E. Coyote's supplier in speed dial - isn't that an Acme 2 ton weight on top of the carcass?

[mommyradd 115]

Thanks for lightening it up, Laura You're a funny one!

[No game 14,437]

Hehe you got to laugh or cry! I should know because I'm the "real" slow loser, oh and thread killer! Watch, its my ugly mug at the end of a lot of threads!