Grieving about forever

[Yoli3925 67]

I'm 23 days away from surgery and I have really began to grieve my former relationship with food. At this time, I just can't imagine a world where I will never be able to eat certain foods again. I'm an emotional eater and food has brought me comfort throughout my life but at great expense to my health. I've done the Atkins diet before and I was very successful losing 180lbs. I was on 20g of carbs a day all from vegetables but I gained it all back after reintroducing carbs (good and bad) back into my diet. I fear the sleeve's low-carb postop diet/lifestyle may not work for me and I won't be able to keep the weight off. I'm in counseling for my emotional eating but sometimes it just doesn't seem like it's going to be enough. Did any of you have concerns about your ability to follow a low-carb postop diet forever?

[VSGKirk 855]

Yoli, I'm 10 weeks out (in my 11th) and I don't feel like I'm on a diet at all. I eat whatever I want - it's just in tiny tiny portions. That said, when I say anything I want guess what? I WANT healthy things. It's so weird how you gravitate towards things you know are better for you and your stomach. I don't want bad things or huge quantities. I eat what I want and am satisfied with very small portions. And I LOVED carbs... A LOT!

I don't know how else to explain it other than my old relationship with food pales in comparison to my new relationship with ME!

[Houston17 115]

Hey Yoli, I understand how you are feeling. My surgery is in April too. I absolutely LOVE good food! I had success with Adkins like you mentioned but I too gained the weight back. I believe the Sleeve will be the tool that we need to be successful. As long as we are eating our Protein first, we won't have much room for all those carb things that get us in trouble! We can do this!

[giggles232000 56]

I understand your fear, but I tell you after my surgery I just didnt want that stuff anymore, I dont crave anything but also I still have what I want but I can only eat so little that its not like before were I would eat a whole box of oreo's now I can only eat one and I am done, dont think about that just think toward the future, good luck

[lilbearzmom 584]

Kirk is 100% right. If you look at any food like you "won't be able to have it again" you're setting yourself up for defeat and deprivation. Nothing is off limits for me either. I just choose the healthy option 99% of the time.

-Kendra

[makemyownluck 785]

I'm pre-op too, yoli and I get that feeling sometimes as well. I think it's natural, but it's our time to do the right thing for our health. I keep reminding myself that I've had 32 years of eating whatever the heck I wanted and it got me to here, so why should I continue to want (insert no-no food here)?

When I get in times like this, I try to think of all the times I've had that particular item in my life. For instance, if I try to think of how many gyros I've had before, it could easily be in the hundreds, if not more (I love me some gyros), and when you think "I've had maybe 400 gyros in my life, do I really need ONE MORE?" it puts it in perspective that you're not depriving yourself NOW, it's that you over indulged IN THE PAST.

Better just to let it go... when we're skinny, we'll have more energy and confidence to do fun things instead of sitting around obsessing over what's for dinner, anyway.

[delta_girl 931]

Fear of loss can really get to you. I felt the same way.

I'm heading into 6 months out and I eat anything I want any time I want it. There are just some things that I don't like as much any more. I actually bought some Thin Mints and put them in the freezer last week. I opened them the other day, took one bite of one of them and threw it in the trash. My body didn't want it at all. It wanted real food.

Today we had a appetizer potluck at work. I had M&Ms, some kind of chocolate square (about 1/2" of it), dip and crackers, dip and chips, little pimento cheese sandwiches, sausage balls, homemade salsa, mini chicken biscuits from Chick Fil A, mexican casserole, ...some things I don't even remember. I ate all of those things. Just not much. A bite here, a nibble there. I don't usually eat all of those things now and the consequences were that my tummy wasn't happy for about an hour.

You are worrying about the unknown. Look back at this in a few months and let us know how you feel then.

[Lisa :) 231]

In the early stages after surgery, there are foods you can't eat. There is grieving and disappointment. But once you get past, say, the one year mark you settle into a new kind of "normal". I'm almost 17 months out and there is NOTHING that I can't eat...although there are some foods that I don't tolerate well (like chicken, bread, rice, Pasta and raw veggies) which I can only eat a bite or 2 of.

There is a definite "honeymoon" period for several months after surgery. I believe the truly "hard work" begins around the 1 year mark....because you CAN eat pretty much anything, you have to be more aware of what you're eating and WHY!!!

What's crazy is that I remember mourning food and my relationship with it...then I reveled in it...now, I WISH it was that easy still!! But that's okay, because "The hard is what makes it great"!!!

[juny 93]

I'm only 6 weeks post op now, still grieving. It probably doesn't help that I'm still on full liquids so nothing but Soups and Protein shakes. But it gets easier every day and I know I'll be able to get back to food again. Right now I'm craving fish and cauliflower and an egg broccoli thing i make...I have cheated on sweets, ie dairy queen chocolate ice cream, that passed fine. But right now I just want real food, no matter how little it is.

Right now my biggest challenges are self sabotage and sense of frustration. I'm working on it w/ my therapist. HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend seeing a therapist to get you ready for surgery. Someone competent to your needs. I so wish I'd had it. When I had surgery, it was like falling off a cliff and it took me 3 weeks to walk out. I had crying jags, was only sleeping about 2 hours a day, and had panic attacks like you wouldn't believe. None of those things are me normally and it was hard to get through it by myself.

[racoon_439 25]

I'm 23 days away from surgery and I have really began to grieve my former relationship with food. At this time' date=' I just can't imagine a world where I will never be able to eat certain foods again. I'm an emotional eater and food has brought me comfort throughout my life but at great expense to my health. I've done the Atkins diet before and I was very successful losing 180lbs. I was on 20g of carbs a day all from vegetables but I gained it all back after reintroducing carbs (good and bad) back into my diet. I fear the sleeve's low-carb postop diet/lifestyle may not work for me and I won't be able to keep the weight off. I'm in counseling for my emotional eating but sometimes it just doesn't seem like it's going to be enough. Did any of you have concerns about your ability to follow a low-carb postop diet forever?[/quote']

I am almost 3 wks postop and im glad to hear youre dealing with this now rather than after!! I didnt deal with it before and let me tell ya..... its hard.after. ive cried... ive gotten mad and cranky..... and wished i would have dealt with the addiction.before. its slowly gettinf better. I think ive realized for me its a.control issue. I cant control whether i cheat or not. This surgery decided that for me! So i have to abide by the rules or i pay dearly for it. Ive now lost 35 lbs from 318 amd blood pressure is normal, im sleeping better and my knees dont hurt!! You CAN do this!!

[Yoli3925 67]

I just wanted to thank you all for replying to my SOS. I have taken all of your advice to heart and it has brought me a lot of comfort. The worry thoughts are still present but now they aren't in the forethought of my mind so much. I realize grieving about forever is black and white thinking and just another form of self sabatoge just like Juny wrote. I want to be successful with the sleeve and I know this sleeve community will be a big part of any success I may have. Thanks!

[Booney 9]

I'm 23 days away from surgery and I have really began to grieve my former relationship with food. At this time' date=' I just can't imagine a world where I will never be able to eat certain foods again. I'm an emotional eater and food has brought me comfort throughout my life but at great expense to my health. I've done the Atkins diet before and I was very successful losing 180lbs. I was on 20g of carbs a day all from vegetables but I gained it all back after reintroducing carbs (good and bad) back into my diet. I fear the sleeve's low-carb postop diet/lifestyle may not work for me and I won't be able to keep the weight off. I'm in counseling for my emotional eating but sometimes it just doesn't seem like it's going to be enough. Did any of you have concerns about your ability to follow a low-carb postop diet forever?[/quote']

This is exactly why I chose to be sleeved! Because I had to make a life long change and not just rely on me and my will power. Lord knows that hasn't worked for me in the past!! I'm doing good with post diet except I'm not eating enough....because I'm just not hungry. N

[mom2rjcr 3]

This worries me too. I have a very intense relationship with Dr Pepper. The thought of never being able to drink it again makes me panic. I used to drink 4-6 a day, but I am down to 1-2 a day. I have to give it up though...as tough as it may be. I want to be healthy!

Jennifer