female only Weight lost attention

[Sharenlj 2]

I've had my operation on November 27and I've lost almost 70 lbs. My new found issue is this. I work for a retail store with a 149 others(not at the same time). Until now I have been kind of invisible to all except the people I work in the office with. Now I have people whom I didn't know knew my name speaking to me,and telling me how good I look. So now I don't know how to deal with it because I've always been here.And it upset me because what was wrong with me before the weight lost. I'm still the same person nothing change but my size.

[Geminidrive 389]

You might want to change your setting on your settings, your font is set to strikeout making it difficult for others to view your posting content.

[Cristin 73]

I would recommend giving people the benefit of the doubt. It can be frustrating to have people suddenly pay attention, but maybe they just didn't know how to talk to you before because they were shy or whatever. Now they have a compliment to open with, "You look great," and it makes it easier to start discussions.

Also I know I tended to look sad a lot at my heaviest. It's possible you were unknowingly pushing people away like I did, and now that you're happier, people feel comfortable talking to you.

You're a gorgeous woman, and you really do look great!

[Threetimesacharm 1,400]

Well I think that it is a sad state in our society but I can now agree that thin people are treated differently than fat. Now that I am thin, people are way nicer to me and I get alot more attention in general everywhere I go. When I was fat people wouldn't give me the time of day.

Now it is nice to get compliments from co-workers; though it doesn't mean that you have to be friends with them. Be choosy as to you find really is interested in you whether fat or thin.

[lilbearzmom 584]

I can really relate- only it's people who I have known for awhile. I'm finishing up a RT program and my classmates have been with me in all the same classes and clinicals since Fall of 2011. They are now going out of their way to ask my opinion and include me in things. I don't know whether to be happy about it or sad that they deem me worthy of the their attention only now that I've lost almost 80 lbs. I really am the same person, just smaller. Just want you to know I know how you feel. And as we lose more weight it'll just become more obvious.

-Kendra

[Pelekania 156]

I am still early out, but I think some time people that are overweight can have a look or demeanor about them which makes them unapproachable. When I don't want to deal with people, I display that look. Even though I am overweight I still get alot of attention and noticed by both sexes. Whether its a compliment on my looks or wardrobe or someone trying to flirt. So while I know alot of overweight people say thst they were treated differently sometimes it's because of the energy we are giving off. Just an opinion from a different perspective.

[Happyx3 6]

Being overweight has made me feel invisible. I am still far from thin, but have been getting many compliments and comments from co-workers, relatives and friends. I really believe that my demeanor has improved. I know that I smile more, walk more confidently and hold myself more erect (snort! I have the sense of humor of a 14-year old boy.)

Pelekania, I totally agree with you about the energy people give off impacts how they are treated. I figure that I can feel good, mentally and physically, and let that rule how I respond to others.

[lilbearzmom 584]

I am still early out, but I think some time people that are overweight can have a look or demeanor about them which makes them unapproachable. When I don't want to deal with people, I display that look. Even though I am overweight I still get alot of attention and noticed by both sexes. Whether its a compliment on my looks or wardrobe or someone trying to flirt. So while I know alot of overweight people say thst they were treated differently sometimes it's because of the energy we are giving off. Just an opinion from a different perspective.

Wow. Thanks for making judgments about people you know nothing about. I never would have guessed that my bad attitude was why people treated me like I was invisible if you, a total stranger, had not pointed that out.

[rybecca20 160]

Wow. Thanks for making judgments about people you know nothing about. I never would have guessed that my bad attitude was why people treated me like I was invisible if you' date=' a total stranger, had not pointed that out.[/quote']

Wait a minute you wanted people's opinions and that is what you got. She referred everything with am I statement not a u!! She was just telling u her story and at the end said maybe your situation was similar. You have to right to say that to her. Do not post stuff if you don't want a variety of answers. She was by no means negative towards you.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I am anxious to see how this works out for me. I make it my JOB to be pleasant, put together (mentally and physically), and outgoing, and people always comment on my "beautiful smile" or that I'm always smiling. I've been heavy most of my adult life, so I don't have anything to compare it to. I do know that people I don't know have treated me in a a dismissive way, particularly when my kids were younger and I was in groups of new people. I have a feeling the OP is correct, and I think obesity is the last acceptable prejudice in this country. I'm anxious to see if my "beautiful smile" gets me a lot further when I'm thin than it does now....because I think it will.

I'd be interested to hear what the vets might have to say about their experience. Anyone?

[Pelekania 156]

Wow. Thanks for making judgments about people you know nothing about. I never would have guessed that my bad attitude was why people treated me like I was invisible if you, a total stranger, had not pointed that out.

Wow, I apologize if this hit a nerve for you, but if you carefully reread my post you will see that I was not judging anyone but giving a personal account of how I and other people who are overweight can be non-approachable. Especially at my heaviest, I really didnt want to be seen or noticed or talked to by anyone because I didnt want to be noticed even more as being the overweight fat girl who has a problem saying no food.

Everything that you stated above MUST be how YOU feel about YOURSELF and how you believe others perceive YOU to be....because in no way did I insinuate or come even close to those things!

[Pelekania 156]

I am anxious to see how this works out for me. I make it my JOB to be pleasant, put together (mentally and physically), and outgoing, and people always comment on my "beautiful smile" or that I'm always smiling. I've been heavy most of my adult life, so I don't have anything to compare it to. I do know that people I don't know have treated me in a a dismissive way, particularly when my kids were younger and I was in groups of new people. I have a feeling the OP is correct, and I think obesity is the last acceptable prejudice in this country. I'm anxious to see if my "beautiful smile" gets me a lot further when I'm thin than it does now....because I think it will.

I'd be interested to hear what the vets might have to say about their experience. Anyone?

I get that same thing in regard to my smile and having a pretty face

I have always hated when people offered (whst I perceived at least) an insult disguised as a compliment. It's kinda like someone telling an individual to "bless his/ her heart" if you are from the south thats a person being nicenasty and it has an underlying meaning.

And you definitely will!

[Pelekania 156]

Wait a minute you wanted people's opinions and that is what you got. She referred everything with am I statement not a u!! She was just telling u her story and at the end said maybe your situation was similar. You have to right to say that to her. Do not post stuff if you don't want a variety of answers. She was by no means negative towards you.

Thanks! I really don't understand how she could have totally misinterpreted what I wrote. I guess sometime the ugly truth can hurt if we are not yet ready to take some accountability for the role that we sometime play.

I am not saying the OP is wrong because ppl like that exist, I am only stating that sometimes we use certain defense mechanisms to shield us from experiencing a past negative reaction or comment or anything we have gotten from someone.

[NewKristen 356]

I get you on this subject. Totally. I do believe that you are probably getting a little more attention because of the combination of you losing weight and also having a little more confidence.

I have always felt beautiful. I know a lot of this is being married to someone who makes me feel beautiful and desired. However, I have a friend who was my age (39) and had never been married or in a serious relationship. One night we went out with a group of friends. She was complaining about how she was little and thin and guys never noticed her. This happened after a guy came to our table and Tried to talk to me. I was overweight by probably 75-80 lbs at the time. Her not getting attention was completely a self confidence issue. If she would walk across the bar and look people in the eye and smile, guys would see her as approachable. Instead she had her head down all the time. Confidence is sexy at any size. So I am guessing you might be rocking your new body, without even knowing what a hottie you are!

[MrsG 329]

I get you on this subject. Totally. I do believe that you are probably getting a little more attention because of the combination of you losing weight and also having a little more confidence.

I have always felt beautiful. I know a lot of this is being married to someone who makes me feel beautiful and desired. However' date=' I have a friend who was my age (39) and had never been married or in a serious relationship. One night we went out with a group of friends. She was complaining about how she was little and thin and guys never noticed her. This happened after a guy came to our table and Tried to talk to me. I was overweight by probably 75-80 lbs at the time. Her not getting attention was completely a self confidence issue. If she would walk across the bar and look people in the eye and smile, guys would see her as approachable. Instead she had her head down all the time. Confidence is sexy at any size. So I am guessing you might be rocking your new body, without even knowing what a hottie you are![/quote']

I completely agree! I've never had a problem with the opposite sex because I've always had confidence and felt beautiful, my size never stopped me. I've been overweight my whole life, I just accepted it an moved on. The only reason I had the surgery was so I could live to see myself as a sexy senior citizen one day! Lol! I'm 39 as well. I think in general people are just attracted or drawn to others with self confidence. I know I admire it in others as well.