Friends

[schonvampyress 4]

I had my surgery on 12/18 and I have dropped 95lbs. Has anyone else experienced friends that you were close to before the surgery suddenly not have time to hang out? It's kind of discouraging.

[Linda 66 34]

I had my surgery on 12/18 and I have dropped 95lbs. Has anyone else experienced friends that you were close to before the surgery suddenly not have time to hang out? It's kind of discouraging.

My friends and I all call each other "fat asses" or some other "fat" name, jokingly. When I had the lapband and lost 120 lbs and was still still saying fat things (still jokingly, like we always used to) they told me not to play like that anymore because I was no longer a "fatty" and it made them feel bad. Soooo, I stopped. It kinda made me feel bad that they could joke like we always did but I no longer could. That's about the only thing that changed. They never pulled away. BTW, I'm fat again so now we can ALL tease each other again lol....but not for long

[schonvampyress 4]

My best friend really hasn't wanted to hang out with me since my surgery and she kept telling me that I better not get smaller than her. It just sucks.

[Macy6 356]

First off congratulations on your tremendous loss! It is wonderful. I think it is difficult when you establish a relationship that is based off of a situation and then you have to change. I am not saying that you two necessarily have always had a "fat" relationship, but when we get comfortable in a situation, and then there is a change it is really difficult to deal with. I pulled away from my best friend after she got married, for a long time I tried to remain as close as before but the reality was, as much as we needed each other, they were seeking couples to do things with and I never fit that mold. I grew tired of being the fifth wheel (because I always was invited, but I was always alone) We are still friends, but not as close as we were. My brother and sister in law met in a bad situation, they both dealt with substance abuse issues and the first year of their relationship was completely surrounded by drugs, alcohol and partying. When the haze lifted and they decided to get clean and do better they had to establish a new relationship, nothing was the same, their friends were different, their fun time was different, but they found new friends and new fun times and turned it around into a lot of outdoor activities and have managed to turn it into a 3 year court ship and 4 year marriage. It doesn't have to be over, it may take a big fight from you. Don't let her get you down, don't let her comments get you down either. My best friend has always been quite a bit thinner than me. I have never come close to her size, and I thought the other day how weird the day will be that I can share her clothes, or even potentially be smaller. I think it is important to let them know we are the same, and how important they are in our lives.

[schonvampyress 4]

She has always been super skinny and I have always been the "fat friend". And as I get smaller she pushes me away. If I talk to her about it she just says she is busy.

[indian 22]

Stupendous weight loss. You are obviously doing something right. Your secrets please ? What was your weight on the date of surgery.

[schonvampyress 4]

No secret. I just walk and exercise everyday and eat Protein and veggies.

[T'snewstart 251]

I had my surgery on 12/18 and I have dropped 95lbs. Has anyone else experienced friends that you were close to before the surgery suddenly not have time to hang out? It's kind of discouraging.

. Yes, this has happened to me. There were a group of us that would hang out. Last summer it was every weekend and some week days as well. Anyhow, I was " the biggest one" in the group. When I started to lose wieght I would get comments like "great now I am the fattest one in the group" I guess I really did not pay attention before. I had not realized my extreme size made them feel better about their obesity. Now that I have lost wieght none of us feel comfortable around each other. It is sad. I have done my best not to make anyone feel uncomfortable in their own skin. I am just doing my thing. When we would have get together after I was post op I would bring foods I could eat. And eat my small portion. This is sad .... But even that would make her angry. She would actually go to the extreme and say what you are full already? At that point I had eaten 2 chicken wings and a slice of tomatoe. I would smile and say yes. So At that point I realized it was time to pull away. None of us make any real efforts to do anything together. A phone every now and then is about it. Even the phone calls are short and sweet.

Honestly, it does make me sad. However, I refuse to feel bad about such a postive thing in my life. So I am moving on. Who is to say what happen down the road. I hope that one day when they are ready to deal with their wieght issues we can reconnect and have something in common. Sorry for the book .... Guess I didn't realize how many people had the same experience in one form or another!

[shuhnaynuh 142]

My best friend really hasn't wanted to hang out with me since my surgery and she kept telling me that I better not get smaller than her. It just sucks.

I experienced this but in a positive way--- my best friend got the courage to start losing weight herself! I thought she may be competing with me a little bit but who cares if we both got skinny ya know? I am glad she did thought because I think we would be in the same boat as you and your friend... So sorry to hear this

[indian 22]

No secret. I just walk and exercise everyday and eat Protein and veggies.

How much exercise precisely ?

[schonvampyress 4]

About an hour to an hour and a half a day. It helps that I have my huskies that drag me on walks.