Divorce and split ups

[bwatts13 102]

Was just wondering who else is going through this. After my surgery me and my wife split up. Was two months later. Was reading a couple of study's and there is like a 90% divorce rate with weight loss surgery did not realize it was this high.

[No game 14,437]

I'm sorry that you are going through this.. Was your wife unhappy with your decision?

As far as the divorce rate? I don't know but 90%

Sound really high!

Laura

[Pookeyism 1,143]

90% does sound unrealistic, but it depends on who is doing th math, or passing on info, which is what most stuff is anymore.

http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/cats/births_deaths_marriages_divorces/marriages_and_divorces.html

That is a link to the census website, and you can assume, that, yes, the percentage is going to go up after WLS. It isn't the negative thing it sounds like. If you take divorce percentages from any group and add "major life event" the stats for divorce go up.

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

There are some here that have mentioned divorce, but I don't think it's the wls alone. I'd be willing to bet there had to be some serious deep seated issues brewing to begin with.

90%?!?!? Huh? Can't be that high.. Say it ain't sooo!

Maybe it's 90% survive and 10% don't?

[johnlatte 1,232]

i have recently become single again (since surgery), but I don't think that it had anything to do with the surgery. More about the lack of overall support and communication.

[No game 14,437]

I think that yes, it probably has more to do with relationship problems before the surgery... I've seen a lot of individuals here speak of problems in their marriage going into this surgery... So add in one major life changing event into an already precarious situation? it could happen.. But it probably would of happened anyway.

Still it's sad..

[cindysc 108]

Maybe some people gain a lot of self confidence from losing the weight and get more independent. The other spouse may see that as a threat and then it begins to cause problems. I hope it don't happen to me. But when I decided to go back to work after my kids were older. I myself gained more independence and courage and am now getting to know myself again. I think it's gonna be even better once I get my surgery and look like the person I feel I am. I realize I will have to keep reassuring my husband it's a good thing for us.

[No game 14,437]

Maybe some people gain a lot of self confidence from losing the weight and get more independent. The other spouse may see that as a threat and then it begins to cause problems. I hope it don't happen to me. But when I decided to go back to work after my kids were older. I myself gained more independence and courage and am now getting to know myself again. I think it's gonna be even better once I get my surgery and look like the person I feel I am. I realize I will have to keep reassuring my husband it's a good thing for us.

But don't you think that if a person "gained more self confidence" and their partner saw that as a "threat" that would indicate some underlying problems to begin with? It would sound like some unhealthy control issues to me.

[Losin4good 689]

Doesnt sound too far off. I've read of it being around 80% several times.

In fact, I personally know over 20 people who have had some form of wls, not online, actually know them. and out of all them only 2 of them are still married. And 1 of those 2 are considering divorce, but holding on.

I've talked very openly to the happily married 9 year post op couple about how they make it work, what their secret is.

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,146]

But don't you think that if a person "gained more self confidence" and their partner saw that as a "threat" that would indicate some underlying problems to begin with? It would sound like some unhealthy control issues to me.

Or major insecurity and/or a lack of self confidence in the spouse that felt threatened.

Amanda Rae

[buddy love 18]

Well I'm still happy at the 10% love my wife happy with my lot love my crazy kids and not changing for nothin or no one .

things can only get better in the land of brilliant if my wife and kids could put up with me FAT then we were always meant to be together 100% fact oh and my wife can't read this so I'm not doing it for effect : ) so all you shallow cheaters out there you've just wasted your time with a wrong choice THiINK HARDER NEXT TIME

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Heck, I'll be with my husband forever since I spent all the money on my gazillion weight loss surgeries.. I can't afford $&!? Let alone a divorce

[cindysc 108]

Lauren - yes it would.

[Losin4good 689]

Obviously there are underlying issues. Some of them just might not be noticed until weight starts to come off.

Its sad.

[No game 14,437]

Noticed by whom I wonder? the one losing weight or the partner?

And if these issues were not noticed, that is a sorry state of affairs....