Wise guy answers for 'how did you lose the weight?"

[gmanbat 5,889]

We had a recent thread about lying about the surgery. I don't like lying but I do like being a wise guy.

Here are some not-to-be-believed answers for the question:

How did you lose the weight?.....

I went swimming in a river in Borneo and contracted a rare fat-eating bacteria.

I only eat foods that begin with Z, I am getting sick of Zucchini !

I am on the Werewolf diet. Where did you say you live?

It is psychological bulimia. After I eat, I think of a catastrophe that leaves you and me as the only survivors in the world. The food comes up pretty quickly.

I eat from a plate made with a picture of my mother-in-law's face on it. The more I eat, the more I see.

It's Water loss. I urinated yesterday and couldn't stop.

I am oppositional defiant. I have my wife command me not to over eat.

I am still overweight. I am wearing a partial cloaking device.

I have gone through an inter-dimensional switch. Fortunately, the alternate reality me was thinner.

[4ALongerLife 329]

rofl... now just to choose my favorite one to use, lol

[lwilliams65 102]

Omg lol. My favorite is definitely the plate with my mother in laws face. That probably would be very affective

[flmama 105]

Omg lol. My favorite is definitely the plate with my mother in laws face. That probably would be very affective

Mine too!

[KristieAtkinson 588]

Bwahahahahaha! When people seem particularly upset about my weight loss, I tell them, you know that thing doctors have been telling us for years, "exercise"? Yeah. I do that now.

[JerseyGirlJodi 16]

Those are hysterical!! Love them!

[MrsGina 101]

How about, I soak in Dawn dish soap to cut through stubborn fat.

[maharet111 544]

I sometimes say I caught the fat fairy red handed and kicked her a@@!

[yashi 5]

Great

[gmanbat 5,889]

Wow, I am not the only wise guy around here!

[MrsGina 101]

I have a feeling there are quite a lot. Lol