newat52 1,613 Posted March 14, 2013 That's exactly what I am seeing. It seems the "Vets" are attacking the "Newbies" in my opinion. All this girl was saying is that she can't see why you would want to hide this surgery, it is a blessing really. I can see both sides but I chose to tell whoever asks. There are like 3 or 4 of you that MADE this post get out of control and yet you say it always starts out like that and gets bad. Most of you are practically attacking the Poster. Just because she has her own opinion doesn't mean you have to repeatedly tell her she is wrong! This site really is starting to get on my nerves. I'm sorry you think that. That really is not the case. The OP put her opinion out there and said she didn't understand her friend was in her opinion lying. People responded and gave their opinions to give her another view. It's called a difference of opinion. People tend to get a bit touchy when choosing to keep one's life private is constantly being called a lie. It's not. Not even close. It just called privacy. All people were asking was to respect privacy and not calling them liars. That is all. Oh, BTW: the OP is not a newbie. She has been on this site a good deal longer than me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicolanz 1,484 Posted March 14, 2013 I will never understand why people are so concerned with who other people are telling about this surgery. I mean, who gives a hoot? If you want to tell people, great! If you don't, who cares?!? Why are they being called a liar? If you had surgery to fix your hemorrhoids, would you tell everyone? Good for you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
newat52 1,613 Posted March 14, 2013 This is exactly what I am talking about. YOU my friend are being such a school yard bully that you are correcting the grammar on the headline of the original post. SMH, this is a huge disappointment. Yep. I did it and am guilty. It's against the rules but I did it anyway and am sorry. It has been spelled that way by the OP the whole way through and I did dig. My bad and on offense meant. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
newat52 1,613 Posted March 14, 2013 I will never understand why people are so concerned with who other people are telling about this surgery. I mean, who gives a hoot? If you want to tell people, great! If you don't, who cares?!? Why are they being called a liar? If you had surgery to fix your hemorrhoids, would you tell everyone? Good for you! That has been the point! It's one's personal business. Period. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KickRocks 163 Posted March 14, 2013 Well I'm not going to lie lol I'm just going to say "I've been working my @ss off!" Which is true! The sleeve is just a "tool" it don't do the work for you. The only people who know I had wls is the people who need to know! I haven't even told my own father cause I know he would just be negative and watch everything I put in my mouth when I can start eating normal again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tiffy0485 123 Posted March 14, 2013 Yep. I did it and am guilty. It's against the rules but I did it anyway and am sorry. It has been spelled that way by the OP the whole way through and I did dig. My bad and on offense meant. I guess you are forgiven, just this once. Do it again and I will bend you over my knee I understand something's that the OP said were wrong, I just wish everyone wouldn't jump her. That's something a lot of us has dealt with most of our lives. It just brought back some memories. I forgive you all! Lol. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tiffy0485 123 Posted March 14, 2013 Now everyone needs to kiss and make up! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sarahzamudio1091 185 Posted March 14, 2013 No and I'm sorry you read it as if we're being harsh, but like I said, she plainly stated she doesn't understand why some choose not to tell others. (well, ok.. She actually called us liars) but ... oh well. So we told her why, but she apparently doesn't like our answer so we try to keep explaining so that perhaps she can comprehend the reason some of us, (including her "friend"), prefer to keep our WLS to our selves. It's quite simple i understand for privacy , yeah totally get that . But if its causing her to become withdrawn and frustrated having to keep this surgery from people . i dont think its worth it . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sarahzamudio1091 185 Posted March 14, 2013 I will never understand why people are so concerned with who other people are telling about this surgery. I mean, who gives a hoot? If you want to tell people, great! If you don't, who cares?!? Why are they being called a liar? If you had surgery to fix your hemorrhoids, would you tell everyone? Good for you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sarahzamudio1091 185 Posted March 14, 2013 Well if she wants to know who's her shallowest fake friend all she needs to do is read this. Well we all have a talk behind your back kinda friend I guess.. grow up will you ? This whole subject is being taken waaay out of what my first comment was actually about Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
newat52 1,613 Posted March 14, 2013 I guess you are forgiven, just this once. Do it again and I will bend you over my knee I understand something's that the OP said were wrong, I just wish everyone wouldn't jump her. That's something a lot of us has dealt with most of our lives. It just brought back some memories. I forgive you all! Lol. Sorry, can't let you bend me over your knee. I'm 8 days post op and it would probably kill me if you have knobby knees. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms.AntiBand 2,984 Posted March 14, 2013 i understand for privacy , yeah totally get that . But if its causing her to become withdrawn and frustrated having to keep this surgery from people . i dont think its worth it . Like I said, tell her come here for needed support. If she is becoming withdrawn or frustrated then others who have kept it private can relate. Although, as far as I know none of us have any regrets about the way we handle our privacy, but nonetheless we can support her in her choice Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PdxMan 4,292 Posted March 14, 2013 That's exactly what I am seeing. It seems the "Vets" are attacking the "Newbies" in my opinion. All this girl was saying is that she can't see why you would want to hide this surgery, it is a blessing really. I can see both sides but I chose to tell whoever asks. There are like 3 or 4 of you that MADE this post get out of control and yet you say it always starts out like that and gets bad. Most of you are practically attacking the Poster. Just because she has her own opinion doesn't mean you have to repeatedly tell her she is wrong! This site really is starting to get on my nerves. Well, as one of the earliest people to have joined this forum on this thread, I'm guessing I am lumped into being one of the "vets" attacking the "newbies", and you would be correct. I will take ownership of that. Sorry ... it is just my opinion that some newbies just post some of the most remarkable things. This thread being a perfect example. All this girl was saying is that she can't see why you would want to hide this surgery That is not true. She straight out says if you do not tell people you had the surgery, then you are a liar. I really take exception to that. I don't think people should be bullied into doing something they don't feel comfortable doing. Most morbidly obese people have been bullied in their lives and to be told they are handling their personal lives incorrectly is just wrong. Here is one of my greatest fears when people post something like this. Someone who has been researching WLS reads a thread like this. They have been shamed by their obesity their entire life. They have circumstances in their life which make them feel uncomfortable sharing this decision with others and now they are being shamed for not telling people. This all compounds to the point where they decide they would rather live with the shame of being overweight than live with the shame this thread implies by having WLS. I just find threads like this very irresponsible. I would think the last place I would be shamed about my WLS is a WLS support forum. I'm not a fan of censorship, but I would love to see this whole thread deleted. What would the new person researching WLS think ... 1 CoffeeGrinDR reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sarahzamudio1091 185 Posted March 14, 2013 Well, as one of the earliest people to have joined this forum on this thread, I'm guessing I am lumped into being one of the "vets" attacking the "newbies", and you would be correct. I will take ownership of that. Sorry ... it is just my opinion that some newbies just post some of the most remarkable things. This thread being a perfect example. That is not true. She straight out says if you do not tell people you had the surgery, then you are a liar. I really take exception to that. I don't think people should be bullied into doing something they don't feel comfortable doing. Most morbidly obese people have been bullied in their lives and to be told they are handling their personal lives incorrectly is just wrong. Here is one of my greatest fears when people post something like this. Someone who has been researching WLS reads a thread like this. They have been shamed by their obesity their entire life. They have circumstances in their life which make them feel uncomfortable sharing this decision with others and now they are being shamed for not telling people. This all compounds to the point where they decide they would rather live with the shame of being overweight than live with the shame this thread implies by having WLS. I just find threads like this very irresponsible. I would think the last place I would be shamed about my WLS is a WLS support forum. I'm not a fan of censorship, but I would love to see this whole thread deleted. What would the new person researching WLS think ... Thanks for the laugh . OMG you are putting in my mouth. ... and who's bullying her into something she doesnt want to do ??? WTH ? this is a joke lol and no one is being shamed of anything by not telling! im stating if its going to cause more harm than good in a persons life . Maybe they should think twice before saying anything at all . get it straight and dont put words in my mouth. Thank You Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
abridgie 73 Posted March 14, 2013 Honestly I told family and friends. When someone asks me I tell them. I also explain its not a quick fix its not easy but I don't care what others think Share this post Link to post Share on other sites