What did you tell people?

[jmendezrn 8]

There are but a handful of people that will know about my procedure (actually maybe not even that many) as

(A) I don't really feel it's anyone's business

( People are just so quick to pass judgement and I don't need any of that negativity

I'm not even telling my children as I don't want them to get the impression that I'm taking the easy way out. I don't think they can wrap their brains around the factors that bring someone to this place and, therefore, can't really understand. We all know that there is a much bigger picture than taking the easy way out, however, I don't think children can differentiate.

I'm actually worried about co-workers as we work in a very small office with a staff of maybe 10 or so. We usually decide on lunch together if we're ordering out (they'll have to start counting me out) and usually eat together (in small groups or pairs). I'm only telling my boss the truth and I anticipate her support as we have a pretty good relationship. For everyone else, I'm contemplating making up that I had some other type of stomach surgery that affects my diet, however, I'm at a bit of a loss. I understand that I'm not obligated to tell anyone anything, however, I'm sure the barrage of questions are sure to come. I just don't want to be rude and brush people off as we're a pretty close knit group. What to do? What to do????

[jmendezrn 8]

No clue where that smiley face came from. Lol. That sould be a letter B. Wierd. Forgive me. I'm still getting a hang of these boards.

[1happyloser2b 39]

Tell them your diet must change since your surgery and that you can no longer eat the same foods,because they cause you too much GI distress!

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[Bos123 221]

I had a physical with myself preop and he wanted to put me on a diet as usual. I had mine done 4 days later and literally caught the flu right after so I was drinking liquids anyway... Once you get through the liquid sage it's easy... People won't really care. By the time you feel better and can eat more... Maybe less but six times a day maybe no one will question. I was itchin to tell because I wanted support from people... But in my heart knew I would get more judgement and gossip. So as hard as it was I didn't tell anyone but my husband. And I am thankful not to have people constantly question. I didn't want to have to feel less proud of what I'm accomplishing because quit frankly after three months it's tough... But people still see me trying hard eating right and excersizing... Without all the behind my back bs.... So glad I didn't tell anyone. You can't unring a bell!

[jmendezrn 8]

I had a physical with myself preop and he wanted to put me on a diet as usual. I had mine done 4 days later and literally caught the flu right after so I was drinking liquids anyway... Once you get through the liquid sage it's easy... People won't really care. By the time you feel better and can eat more... Maybe less but six times a day maybe no one will question. I was itchin to tell because I wanted support from people... But in my heart knew I would get more judgement and gossip. So as hard as it was I didn't tell anyone but my husband. And I am thankful not to have people constantly question. I didn't want to have to feel less proud of what I'm accomplishing because quit frankly after three months it's tough... But people still see me trying hard eating right and excersizing... Without all the behind my back bs.... So glad I didn't tell anyone. You can't unring a bell!

That's my concernt: the judgement and gossip. You sure can't unring a bell! lol

[Ima Loser 197]

It sounds like I work in an office similar to yours, I basically told them I am really watching my diet and using Portion Control and working out (which is all true), No one has questioned me at all... They have only told me how awesome I am doing... Honestly I dont think people pay as much attention as you would think to what you're eating... As for ordering out, just bring your food to work and tell them you are cutting back to save for a new wordrobe after you lose weight

[jmendezrn 8]

It sounds like I work in an office similar to yours, I basically told them I am really watching my diet and using Portion Control and working out (which is all true), No one has questioned me at all... They have only told me how awesome I am doing... Honestly I dont think people pay as much attention as you would think to what you're eating... As for ordering out, just bring your food to work and tell them you are cutting back to save for a new wordrobe after you lose weight

Tell them your diet must change since your surgery and that you can no longer eat the same foods,because they cause you too much GI distress!

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Thanks.

[jody73 8]

This is what I did and it has worked beautifully. I started with "I'm going to tell you something because I care about you and I want you to know whats going on with me and eventually you will know but I dont want to hear a word from you and I dont want your opinion." I smile and laugh abit but I stay firm and then I told them. Everyone respected my request and did not say much back. If they were supportive they said over and over how happy they were for me. If they were questionable they stayed quiet. But they saw my confidence and that was that. You know what it did.....it built my confidence. I feel like a million bucks with my confidence. I have a super good friend that lives about an hour away so I don't get to see her very often anymore. But were still close. Her husband and I have always struggled with our weight. He did some program and lost a ton of weight and is doing really well. I knew they would not be supportive so I did not tell her until after the surgery. Yesterday she came over and said lets talk. Turns out her hubby is a bit upset with me. I for the first time felt in complete control of my own decissions and my own life. I was not guided to such a bid descission in my life by everyone else and what they think is best for me. Its my own life. This has been such a great boost of confidence for me. I believe telling people is not bad. The way you tell them is the key. Soon everyone will want to know all about it and its fun to talk about. Then when you drop 15 pounds in two weeks and your drinking broth it wont be a big lie they will be happy for you. They will respect you. Good luck. I know everyone has different ways of dealing and how ever you or anyone deals is great. This was my experience. After re reading here what I wrote. I think if you are solid confident in your decission it wont matter what anyone has to say. I waited to tell people when my surgery date was set and I was solid. Then I told people that were close to me. The above person BOS 123 makes a lot of sense too. Its hard.

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

I supervise the two office workers we have, and though I don't usually get into too much personal information, I did tell them. They could not have been more supportive. Now, neither of them have weight issues, but they joined me in eating healthier, not ordering out as much, bringing healthy Snacks (fruit).

Now that I'm 3 months out I do order out lunch every now and then, if its Chinese food, I'll get steamed shrimp/chicken and Broccoli and some garlic sauce on the side. No rice, no eggroll. If we get from the deli, I'll get a "sub" but no roll. Lots of Protein and tastes great. I'm eating much less of course, but I dont' feel I'm outside of what everyone else is doing. I imagine this approach would not work for everyone, but it has been great for me.

Good luck!

[Lissa 2,631]

My VSG was the result of a "Come to Jesus" conversation with my doctors. They told me to lose weight or I wouldn't live another year. I made my decision based on that and that's what I told anyone who questioned me. I'm totally open about my VSG and it has inspired several people close to me to work out, diet, or have their own WLS. If there are naysayers (and there are always a few), I simply tell them that this surgery literally saved my life. End of discussion. I don't listen to negativity. This was my last, best, option to save my own life.. and it's worked so far. I'm 18 months out, over 120 pounds lighter, and I feel like a brand new person! I really don't care what anyone else thinks of my decision. IMO, this is the best thing that has EVER happened to me, after the births of my children... and some days that's questionable! LOL

[missmeow 156]

I'm saying I am having a hiatal hernia repair and using the healing time to jump start a liquid diet with my doctor--IF anyone has the nerve to ask. Post-op hernia repair looks about the same anyway--liquids and soft foods for a month or so. It shouldn't be too strange. I don't eat out with anyone except one friend infrequently so it shouldn't be an issue. I'm sure people will talk when the weight falls off but big deal. By that time I will be healed and not as worried about negativity.

[jen1211 203]

I told people the truth, but i'm not a good liar and I just don't feel right lying. I also have a few other girls at work who had it done and look amazing, everyone was pretty supportive of the one girl and there was some talk that the other girl was not big enough. She was about 195 I believe but only 4'11", so every time I hear someone say something I'm honest and say hey, you don't know what it's like and that is a lot of extra weight for such a tiny frame and a lot of times people take a second and think about it and start to get it. I have had people ask me why I did it and I am blunt, I was over 300 lbs (which a lot of people didn't know) and I couldn't breathe and was sick for most of the past year. I want to live for me and I am really not too concerned about what others think in general. I know that the most important people in my life are supportive and that is what I need. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.

[rdt210 82]

I'm saying I am having a hiatal hernia repair and using the healing time to jump start a liquid diet with my doctor--IF anyone has the nerve to ask. Post-op hernia repair looks about the same anyway--liquids and soft foods for a month or so. It shouldn't be too strange. I don't eat out with anyone except one friend infrequently so it shouldn't be an issue. I'm sure people will talk when the weight falls off but big deal. By that time I will be healed and not as worried about negativity.

I'm taking the same approach, and not even telling anyone that until after the surgery (3/25). My husband thinks I should tell my brother and his wife (we are very close and they live near us) that I'm going in for surgery beforehand. They live in Mexico in the winter so I don't see the point - what can they do besides worry? I had gallbladder surgery in January and neither of them still know about that!

[nerlyc 15]

I'm scheduled for April 10. I have told only very close family and it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I told my dad. I don't know how some of you guys feel but it's almost like my dirty little secret. I feel as though people look at me differently after I tell them. I mean obviously I'm overweight, but I feel as though after I let people know that's all they focus on. I am in the transition of starting a new job and I'm nervous because I feel as thought people will ask questions and I really don't know how I will answer. I will have a hiatal hernia repaired as well and I thought that would be my excuse. I know this is the right thing for me, I just think that there are so many people that gossip more than actually care about ones well being.

[doreyrae 20]

I told the truth to the my family (husband, kids, mom and grandparents), and about 3 friends. I didn't even tell my sister. I really don't care who knows after the surgery. I just don't need peoples opinions, negative remarks or someone trying to talk me out of something I feel strongly about. Hurry up March 30, I'm ready!!!