female only My marriage sucks

[RAAinNH 113]

Your husband needs to find another job before he quits his current one. It appears that he is putting all the financial stress on you. It's selfish of him to expect you to carry all the burden and support him while he takes time off. Try to make him understand that although you love him, you will not tolerate him quitting his job again. He has a responsibility to not only you but your children to help provide a stable home life. Good luck. My best advice is to do what is best for you and your children.

[RebecaSparkles 247]

I had a similar situation. My hubby got fired, went on umemployment lost all confidence in himself. It was like The man I married was gone & swaped for a slob who couldn't be botheted to make a frozen pizza for dinner on nights I worked late.

He now has a job that pays nice but he loathes. I pretty much put a boot up his ass. I sat him down told him I loved him and that I wanted to stay together but I would not put up with him being unemployed again. His options were to find another job and then give notice & leave or pray to be laid off. That I had had enough of his childish ranting & being miserable around the house & not doing his share. That he needed to man up because He is not who I married and while some change is normal this was breach of contract.

[RebecaSparkles 247]

Sent too soon!

Anyways i then pointed out that I have been nothing but sympathetic & bend over backwards nice to him & that I was not asking too much of him. That all I wanted was for him to check his baggage at the door and DO something about his problems instead of just bit&@@&& about them to me.

Well. It worked! That was three weeks ago & so far so good.

[Museum-Mama 196]

Good for you two for trying again. HOWEVER, you have to be willing to complete the ultimatum is he goes back on his word. For years, I made idle threats to leave my hubby, and regretted it in the end. All the promises were false. (Our probs were not money related, though.) After 12 years, I left and he couldn't believe it. For several years, he tried the same old promises and "I'll change" etc....but do NOT go back. make it clear that you relationship with him is now just to make sure the kids are taken care of and grow up loved.

But I hope, this time, it does not have to go that far. STICK TO YOUR GUNS!!!

[Jen.D 10]

Lot's of good advice has already been given. I'd like to add one more. While marriage counseling would be great, it sounds like you also need financial counseling. My husband and I went through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University several years back and it helped us to pay off all of our debt except our house (which will be paid off in 3 more years). It has certainly made our marriage stronger to be in agreement about money, and to not have lots of debt payments to make each month. The website to find out more is: http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu

Good Luck!

[Sadtosaygoodbye 256]

I think you need to do what's best for You. I sort of took offense to a poster who stated "He loved you fat, and how many men would do that" WTF?? As if that is so noble of him. As if he did you a favor because you were overweight. As if you were not a great catch because you were overweight. As if all of us who are overweight should be grateful for our husbands. He better be glad I chose to marry him, and he is!! My mother told me and all my sisters before we were married "Till death do you part" She said this means till death of the marriage, and sometimes the marriage dies before your physical bodies do. Good luck to whatever decision you make my dear.

[LI Gemini NY 607]

I don't know anyone who likes their job lol sad but true! Can he get another job before he leaves this one? Why does he want to leave his job? Is he looking to switch careers? Same type of job= same type of issues

[novam vitam 117]

We have been to counseling on and off for years. And yes we do have children together. But all they do is see us fight. I just pawned my jewelry to save our house and then he drops this bomb. I am trying everything I can

I truly have been in your shoes and I decided to walk away and I can tell you with experience, if you have children, his lack of effort is your burden for life, married or not. So frustrating, Im sorry you are going through this and I don't have the answer, seems like they don't get it until its too late.... Look up "the walk away wife syndrome and have him read it" I wish you the best.

[rmubvashrink 57]

it does sometimes sometimes i feel like i give until i'm broken I don't have anything left to give. my husband doesn't even work but one day a week I am full time post surgery and i swear sometimes I don't get a break and I also a full time student. I have no problem with him not working but don't make me come and clean and cook, don't make me try to plan appointments and stuff you do it dammit! I will not live a lifetime of misery for anyone. he better get it together. bottom line I hope tings get better for you.

Rebecca

[ooffa511 506]

I am reading all of this if anyone is wondering. I start to write something and then stop

I do love my husband. He has put up w a lot from me. With that said, I feel that he has been a major cause of me when I do have an outburst

I am going to work this out bc I do love him, he is a good guy in a lot of ways. I need him financially right now too.

It is difficult with the kids are around. Now bc I don't eat emotionally as much. I find I lose my patience w my oldest daughter. Primarily her, she is turning 11 and is beyond emotional. I am only 30 and having a difficult time with this.

I think I see hope in the future

[NewKristen 356]

Lot's of good advice has already been given. I'd like to add one more. While marriage counseling would be great' date=' it sounds like you also need financial counseling. My husband and I went through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University several years back and it helped us to pay off all of our debt except our house (which will be paid off in 3 more years). It has certainly made our marriage stronger to be in agreement about money, and to not have lots of debt payments to make each month. The website to find out more is: http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu

Good Luck![/quote']

Great program!!!

[SweetTee 448]

I am reading all of this if anyone is wondering. I start to write something and then stop

I do love my husband. He has put up w a lot from me. With that said' date=' I feel that he has been a major cause of me when I do have an outburst

I am going to work this out bc I do love him, he is a good guy in a lot of ways. I need him financially right now too.

It is difficult with the kids are around. Now bc I don't eat emotionally as much. I find I lose my patience w my oldest daughter. Primarily her, she is turning 11 and is beyond emotional. I am only 30 and having a difficult time with this.

I think I see hope in the future[/quote']

That's great that you have hope for you guys. That means all is not lost. When you wrote about your daughter it reminded me of myself. I think I have a lot least patience with my teenagers also since being unable to emotionally eat. My husband and I started having kids young. I was 19 when I gave birth to my oldest child.

I think starting out early has me in a place where I'm now 30ish (lol) and wanting some me time and I'm now beginning to focus more on myself.

I guess that's when my decision to have surgery came into play. I've devoted so much of my life to my husband and kids and put myself on the back burner.

Doing this surgery for ourselves will give us a happiness beyond measures.

I truly believe that you can't be happy and satisfied with life until you're happy and loving yourself first.

Good luck and be blessed!

[Ljp 157]

I've always been a hard worker' date=' but I'm ready to give up on my marriage. For the 6th time in 7 years my husband wants to leave his job. We are in a horrible financial situation. But now, I have put my foot down. Enough is enough. I said u gave to wait until we are out of our financial pickle. He basically said no. So I said I'm done. I'd rather be alone than to keep having him base these decisions solely on how he feels. I'm 30 and feel amazing since my sleeve. I'm down 118 lbs. and I have my life back, sorta. Any help from married folks would be great!! =([/quote']

All relationships are work especially marriage. In May we will hv been married 26 years. My husband went thru stages of a variety of jobs several times a year and we were constantly behind on our bills continually. It ws a very difficult time. We lived off ramen noodles and 500 ways to cook hot dogs! It has been a roller coaster ride. We hv had ups and down, financial lows and highs, weight up and down but have learned and made our mind that we hv made this vow to each other and we are going to ride this roller coaster together thru the good and the bad. We all go thru stages in life and need to learn to grow with each other and maybe try to pin point the reason for the many job changes. Something is triggering this.

[sharonintx 1,275]

By the way - you look awesome!

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,146]

He has done this before but I've played the role of the supportive wife. Now I'm tired of it. I said let's fix our situation and then I will support u in whatever u want to do. His answer was great' date=' so ill just be miserable. But I'm miserable too...[/quote']

Why is he wanting to leave his job?

Amanda Rae