My best friend is mad at me for having the surgery, and it makes me so sad : (

[Hopeful in Rochester 10]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I am so grateful for this community of support. For now I'm going to give her the space she's requested and hope that our friendship can survive this. I would just hate to lose her...

[Sharon's last chance 88]

Rather than assume her anger is based in jealousy, fear, etc. I would just accept her feelings. Maybe she needs time to accept this for what ever reason. Many of us were against/afraid of this surgery before we became converts. I would just let her know you love her and are ready to resume your friendship when she is.

[Geminidrive 389]

My friend and I have been best friends since we were 15. We have both battled weight issues since our teen years. Despite living completely different lives and living in different parts if the country, our friendship has always flourished. She let me know during the pre-op phase that she was completely opposed to the surgery, and that I could do it the old-fashioned way (even though neither of us had ever reached a healthy weight doing it the old-fashioned way). I love her so much and don't want to lose her, but se actually just asked me to back off and give her space. Anyone else have any issues with friends related to their decision to pursue surgery, and have any advice for me? Thanks everyone.

When did a life choice become a group decision especially when this doesnt effect your friend. I understand that you consider this person a friend, but when you've made other important decisions in your life was she involved in those decisions as well? Sometimes "we" make decisions that no one else is going to like and we must stand by those decisions and stand up for ourselves no matter what others say. I would give her space, but before giving her that space I would tell her how much you love her as a friend and no matter how upset she is you aren't changing your decision to have the surgery. Ask her would she prefer to see you happy and healthy or miserable and unhealthy.....and if she is your true friend she will stand by you even though she doesn't agree with you. Sometimes all a true friend needs to do is just be there. I hope your friendship can survive this.

[rachel1217 4]

I am dealing with a similar issue... Only with my sister whom I am close to. She and I have both struggled with our wt all our lives and tried every diet and pill out there. I have decided the sleeve is for me and she dont want to hear anything about it and quits tlking to me when I bring it up. I had a lap band 4.5 years ago that I did well with (283 to 140) but it slipped 2 years ago and I had to have it removed. Now im back up to 230 and cant keep doing this... I miss being healty and feeling comfortable in my body. I cant talk to anyone else about this bc they will all freak out due to the complications I had with the band. Ive told only my husband who is supportive...but not someone I can really talk to about this with. I guess I am just sad the 1 person I thought would understand and be a good support - is not!

[xlovexdangerxmagickx 25]

I had a lot of supportive people, semi supportive people, and completely negative people.

Some said natural is the way to go, some said omg what if you die, and others said go for the gold.

Just try to understand everyones veiwpoint may not be your viewpoint unfourtently.

[Jermiria LaideeJae Darden 17]

I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this!

Personally, I have been blessed with so much support and kind words from family and friends about my surgery! I was candid, open, and honest from the start. If there is something that I have learned in my lifetime, I've learned this. When it comes to making life-changing decisions in regards to an aspect of your life, you have to keep in mind that you are doing this for YOU. People can empathize, sympathize, and even criticize what you are going through or have gone through in your journey, but YOU are the only one walking in YOUR shoes. It's okay to be respectful of everyone's viewpoint whether it may be positive or negative, but honey at the end of the day, you owe it to YOURSELF to be the healthiest and happiest that YOU want to be. If you go through your life trying to please everyone and everything, you're going to drive yourself CRAZY! You CAN'T please everyone, but know that your TRUE friends and your TRUE family are going to love you and support you REGARDLESS. Don't take it your best friends' feelings too personal. As everyone else on here have said, she may be responding in that manner due to some personal insecurities in her life. Talk it out with her. Communicate your feelings to her. If she still feels the same way, then it may just be the time to let her go and give her some space. If she is REALLY your friend, in due time she will come back to you. I wish you all the best in your journey sweetheart!

[angelpooh29 128]

I am blessed with a BFF that is super supportive. However a close friend of mine had the gastric bypass a couple of years ago and has gained most of her weight back. She won't ask me how I'm doing or how much weight I've lost. I believe it's because she is ashamed that she let her weight get back out of control. My husband is the best as well. I've learned that some people are just jealous of success in anything and you can't change them. Bet of luck to you. Prayers are with you and your friend!!!

[ckunes 23]

Some people are just afraid of change--- Any change good or bad threatens security!